When Decisions Are Difficult… How do you manage?

[Friday]

When decisions are difficult, how do you manage?

For my own self? I REMOVE decisions from my daily life, as much as possible. (My wardrobe is split in 2, half decision free & half have a desire / root of feelings, textures, moods, etc…. Similarly? My dishes are identical, etc. No thinking required. Except? For a few specials, etc.).

How about you?

Do you have issues with decisions in everyday life? When you’re symptomatic? When you’re stressed but not …yet… symptomatic?

 

[Survivor3]

I get lost and overwhelmed when I have too many decisions too make, so I give myself fewer options. Meals, activities and hobbies etc. Friends and social life.

 

[No More]

I’m a list maker. So if I’m real stuck and I’ve got time to think it through, I’ll make my pros/cons list and then pick one.
If I don’t have time, I say f*ck it, let’s do that.

I’ve never had a lot of problem making decisions. My problem when symptomatic is based around other peoples inability to manage making decisions - sends me absolutely f*cking loopy. I get so tunnel focused on the ICK stuff, that I don’t have the brainpower to compute someone dithering over jeans or shorts, when my brain is screaming rrrrrruuuuuun at me.

 

[Teasel]

When decisions are difficult, how do you manage?

I recognise that some years ago, chronic stress and reduced spoons lead me to develop a habit of trashing any kind of perfectionism or even desire to get things done right. Half arsed is perfect if it gets it done.

So - choosing the path of least resistance, or the easiest way to do a thing, or choosing a more costly solution if it frees up a spoon. Stuff like that. Not giving a toss if it's perfect.

I don't know if I've expressed myself very well

Not sure how helpful this is for very important decisions.

 

[arfie]

when i can't decide, i consult my EDM (executive decision maker). i flip a coin. heads is yes. tails is no. reducing the issue to a yes/no question is the hard part. when i find myself arguing with the EDM, i have discovered that i already knew and go with the discovery.

 

[Friday]

i flip a coin.

That’s a sacred thing, where I come from.

when i find myself arguing with the EDM, i have discovered that i already knew and go with the discovery.

Ditto. (And either don’t flip the coin, or don’t look, because then I would be obligated. When what I really needed? Was to know the true desires of my heart.).

 

[arfie]

And either don’t flip the coin, or don’t look, because then I would be obligated.

in my own case, i believe that feeling of obligation is worth losing, especially when tempted to bow to EDM's. "just following orders" is a dandy excuse for committing some of the world's greatest injustices.

When what I really needed? Was to know the true desires of my heart.

amen, i say unto thee, amen. i count it as a good day when something as simple as flipping a coin can lead me to my heart's desire.

 

[user27357]

based on recent events, I have to say really badly.

 

[whiteraven]

Do you have issues with decisions in everyday life? When you’re symptomatic? When you’re stressed but not …yet… symptomatic?

Oh, I'm all over the place on this one. And it's all the damn time. Mostly, stuff just doesn't get done. It's easier for me to decide the big stuff rather than the every day. Like, do I go to Poland or not? Immediate yes. But...what color (socks) should I buy? They just don't get bought.

I don't struggle with what to wear much, because it just doesn't matter to me.

I’m a list maker.

Me, too. I make a weekly list of those things I *need* to get done, and I make detailed vacation lists--what to take, where to go, etc.

I think that the inability to make decisions adds to my stress a hundredfold.

 

[Freida]

Pros and cons list. Whichever comes out longest wins

 

[PlainJane]

I simplify the hell out of everything. Same clothes, purge clutter, anything at all that I can live without that will hold weight in my brain. I eliminate having to think about the small inconsequential stressors that are things I would ordinarily ignore as decisions but suddenly feel heavy because of whatever big/hard/PTSD thing is happening. I don't care if I have the same exact shirt and jean combo for weeks/months/years. No joke, I was going through some things about a week ago and found 7 of the same style/feel shirt but with two color variations depending on activity. Black and white, and it is my favorite shirt because I can wear it and never think about it. Hence 7 of them. I have gone a few years with VERY little variation because of, well, life and my poor little brain.

Food can be a challenge when decisions are hard. As in I would rather skip eating than have to tackle the monumental task of deciding what to eat, how to cook it, then the cleaning, where is MY fork, I don't want to eat anymore. Cooking isn't something I love, unless I am being very intentional and it's new stuff I am trying. Otherwise I get bored w/ it and the ROI isn't there. Soooo, meal replacement shakes! Blech, but it does the trick and I am not gorging myself on convenient and heavily processed foods for my energy. Another cool thing I have started is meal prep ordering. There is a local fella that sells meal prep for a super reasonable price (and clean), so I get one for each day of the week so it gaurentees real food in my body at least once a day. It takes out all the stuff that makes eating a chore. I text him at the begining of the week to throw together whatever he has and i'll eat it.

Last thing I will mention that seems to take an edge down, I turn off my phone alerts to the absolute bare minimum I can. The less I see when I am working on my phone the better. I am not saying I am ignoring things, but I will only allow urgent things thru. Everything else can wait until my bought out time for it. Basically, I treat my phone like a landline except for actual urgent events. People in my life balked at it at first but eventually got used to it. I understand why, it wasn't because they felt like I should answer their call because I have my phone on me, but they were unsure as to whether I was busy or if I was not okay and/or isolating. This one though is sticking around as best practice regardless of what's going on, it feels so much better this way.

 

[Freddyt]

Whats the real decision about?
When do I NEED to make the decision? Which is nearly as important.....because if I don't make a snap decision and make the decision when I really need to? The answer will usually make itself apparent...