Research Writing A Book, Need Some Advice

[Finding Maeve]

I wrote a novel loosely based on my own real childhood trauma, and the literary agent asked me to change motivations for certain things that I could not change to the degree he wanted me to because I knew they were not authentic. I could have made those changes (I made some, but not all) and put out a misrepresentation and possibly gotten the book published, but I had to stand my ground on certain things. So I agree that you should not write about the complexities of trauma or PTSD or complex PTSD without having experienced it, or known and asked questions of someone very close who has experienced it, or done a ton of research. People, especially young adults, do buy and read tragedies though. I am working on a creative non-fiction book about my experience with trauma and its effects, as well as the experiences of the many people I know who have died from, who are surviving with, or are trying to recover from trauma. PTSD and complex PTSD (usually childhood-related or due to prolonged exposure to trauma) are just a couple of manifestations of emotional trauma (read 'The Body Keeps the Score'), and its symptoms are many, varied, and impossible to grasp unless you've felt it. My family has seen me at my bottom (96 pounds, unable to function, suicidal, in absolute despair, immobile with anxiety and depression, and witnessed my night terrors, and still give me advice as if they've never witnessed one iota. "Get another job, put an alarm clock on the top shelf of the closet." Being misunderstood and misrepresented makes us feel more isolated and hopeless. Have you experienced anything traumatic at all? Is there anything you've faced and can tap into?

 

[Deleted member 41765]

but is in the same anthology of his short stories and concerns a soldier relating to a precocious little girl (no sexual content, that's not a trigger here).

The story by J.D. Salinger mentioned above is "For Esme--with Love and Squalor" from
Nine Stories. This writer has never been whiny, and Catcher smacks of the same ptsd nuance.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

Hi. Not exactly sure how I feel about this. On one hand, its good that you care about portraying PTSD correctly and want to understand how best to do that. On the other hand, I agree with The Albatross, your post is pretty presumptuous and what exactly are your intentions, what is your purpose writing about PTSD when you have no experience with it? You say you have been reading our threads, and like I said, while I appreciate that you want to better understand PTSD, those threads are not there for curious readers to sate their curiosity, those are our lives. It's what we have to deal with everyday; its not a story someone is writing, its what we actually have to deal with and I'm not sure I appreciate our stories of pain and struggle being perused by a curious writer looking for something to put in a story. When you write, please keep in mind that PTSD should not be used as some kind of dramatic angle in a story, its a very real thing that affects many lives in many different ways; it is not something to flippantly add into a story, it is serious and frightening for those of us who experience it, and I doubt that you could really capture what it is like in words when you have never personally struggled with it. It is hard enough to describe it even for those of us who do struggle with it.
Having said that, if you have set your mind to writing about this, I will try to answer your questions. First, PTSD is something that can affect many different parts of your life, it affects your personality (especially since your character had been abused from such a young age), your perceptions of others, etc. I was abused starting when I was pretty young, and I have always struggled with self-esteem, trust issues is a big one (hardly trust anyone, even good friends), hyper-vigilance, nightmares, flashbacks, re-experiencing and other things as well, it can affect you in a range of different areas. Flashbacks are difficult to describe, its not like in movies, flashbacks in movies usually are innacurate in my opinion. Sometimes, for me, its like a day-dream (more like day-nightmare) that you can't stop, or don't have control over. For me, flashback is similar to that, except you aren't choosing it to happen and you can't get it to stop or get out of your head, you don't have the control that you do with a day dream. Its also stronger than a daydream. I think everyone deals with flashbacks a bit differently, when we're traumatized we don't get a handbook or something telling us how to deal with it, and we don't always have support right away, so we just do what we have to do to get through it, whatever will distract from the memories or whatever is going on. I don't feel like being very social when I'm having lots of flashbacks, I try to do something else, watch tv, listen to loud music, play an instrument, anything. Either that or I go hide somewhere in my house, in a corner so I can see the whole room and know that no one is sneaking up on me (even if I'm alone), and end up panicking. Flashbacks are scary and come sometimes at the worst times, I', not sure if you'll be able to accurately portray it.
So this is a very long reply, hope I helped some.

 

[shatter eyes]

I wrote a novel loosely based on my own real childhood trauma, and the literary agent asked me to...

Yea.. stay true. When we die all we carry away is our stories, our truth and yes to be published is to live eternal as literature remains past our expiry dates. Living eternally by being tinkered and twisted by an agent is not kool. I say FK'em.

But yes i know what u mean as my first book for Children was deemed too dark. I felt so bad and stopped for years because I allowed some kluckinYoYotata (dont ask what that means... i just made it up) lay judgement on my creativity.

Writing is healing. Art is healing. Stepping out of ourselves to help another is healing. Tagging walls, washroom poetry and portraits... also healing.

(Dont fake the funk...)
Publishn agent FooYooMan.

 

[Artemus]

Having written a novel and a Memoir documenting the source of my non-military PTSD (a writing that played a role in the disbarment of a corrupt prosecutor and the ouster of a corrupt sheriff), I would add these thoughts.

* PTSD is NOT a victim's story. It is a survivor's story. A basic misconception that taints the courage of those with PTSD, and further confuses the nastier symptoms of guilt and self-blame that are a part of the malady. Not understanding this can skew the entire character development profile(s).
* By definition PTSD requires a traumatic event, or events. If the event can't be described, most practitioners misdiagnose it as GAD, Depression, Bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia. Given a measurable number of PTSD victims have blocked the details of their trauma(s), those who developed it because of multiple traumas (or trauma that began as an infant) can't readily pinpoint which trauma actually created this emotional fracture of one's world, this leads to a lot of confusion all around. There's plenty of opportunity to put confusion everywhere in your plot and characters with good reason.
* At it's grossest, PTSD is a total loss of the sense of safety. PTSD survivors live in a world of continuous danger, inconsequential things to you become triggers of symptoms that create physical responses in them/us. If you read the list of symptoms, PTSD is a "Knowing" that you live in a dangerous world that can--and will--hurt/kill/destroy you at any time from any unexpected place. (Notice the capital K. That means it is a belief of a certainty.). During the trauma, it isn't called PTSD, it's called surviving. When the need to survive ends, but the emotions & actions required to survive re-occur--it is called PTSD. The basic premise of your character's POV.
* My experience is that almost no one who attempts to treat PTSD understands it, so they use the typical cognitive therapy/prescription modalities to treat it. I find the former not useful and the latter creates it own set of problems as doctors keep adding to the prescription count to quell the symptoms--sometimes to disastrous effects. What complicates this is that the survivors with PTSD tend to believe the practitioners (who are often gasping at straws themselves) and the whole thing just gets worse--the survivor becomes a victim of the medical system they trust.
* The term Flashback is a variable. It can include nightmares, waking dreams, snapshot memory recall that is visual, or just a vivid memory. It can also cause blackouts (a momentary loss of reality--spacing out). Basically, a flashback experience is a re-experience of of a trauma with a sensory memory (visual, smell, auditory, kinestheic). It doesn't always have to be the same trauma if there's more than one. Flashbacks in a novel are difficult to do well. My recommendation is not to focus on flashbacks so much as triggers. Triggers are in the present. A multitude of triggers can create a common flashback, making triggers the present day happenings that create the chaos.
* The term Trigger is a variable. It includes anything that touches the 5 senses. Note that "reading" can be a trigger as it touches the eyes and that part of the brain which can 'trigger' a recall, or even a blackout. Television, a huge trigger. Noise is a trigger. Confusion. Rejection. etc.
* Note that PTSD survivors tend to isolate a lot. In drugs (prescription & otherwise), alcohol, staying away from other people, or just zoning out so that reality isn't really present for them. Reality is filled with triggers and triggers create painful memories and actions others find inappropriate to the circumstance of the moment. Therein comes the feeling of being broken or wrong somehow for having PTSD.

These broad brush strokes, and PTSD is a very personal experience. Yet, they may help you can build a deep and troubled character. Someone who is lost and trying to find her way home so to speak. The gotcha is that "home", that safe sanctuary, never arrives for most.

I would suggest that your reference to not having had a flashback, thus not understanding it, is a statement of ignorance of the term. Everyone has flashbacks, just for most of us they aren't traumatic events.

Research, research, research, then write. Steinbeck lived in California with his characters of Grapes of Wraith before writing the novel as part of his research. Hemingway was a medic in WW I. Immerse yourself in the world where PTSD dwells before you attempt to write about it, and your character will develop the depth needed to draw others into the novel. If you can't describe the experience of it using the 5 senses, then you're telling and not showing PTSD to the reader.

I would disagree about putting PTSD in a novel is a bad idea. I think fiction is an excellent way to get reality through the thick veil of denial that exists in people. It allows the to wake up to the truth of what is around them. Personally, I understand PTSD as being as much, or maybe more, a part of the general population than it is a military issue. Helping expand the awareness of PTSD outside of combat is needed both in fiction and non-fiction. Good luck.

As for my Memoir, I need to re-write it because it doesn't include the diagnosis, the rough years, the good years, and the outcomes to the predators I mention at the beginning of this little essay. I published the book almost 10 years ago. My big issue? I can't read the book I wrote. I've tried a dozen times, but can't get more than a dozen pages through it. My wife has never read it. We lived it. We survived. And we avoid anything that brings back those memories. That's PTSD.