Non cutting self harm

[Fadeaway]

I tend to engage in non-traditional self-harm behaviors. I have celiacs so what did I do? Got Chinese take out full of battered shrimp, orange chicken and potstickers. Since I have know my husband I have asked him to just hug me and tell that it is ok when I get triggered or have a panic attack. So what does he do in the middle of store while I feel like everyone is staring at me? He says, "I don't know what you want from me." So I responded by deciding that after 7 years of not being able to eat potstickers I was going to enjoy them and suffer the consequences.

Well, here I am 2 days later suffering the consequences. I am such an idiot.

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry, Fade. What are potstickers?

 

[Naoru]

mmmm gyoza. Worth the suffering, IMO. ;)

Not an idiot, either. We do what we have to do to get by. Sometimes not the best decisions, but I accept it, learn from it, try again next time ... well ... within reason. :)

 

[Fadeaway]

Pan fried dumplings. They are my favorite food.

 

[hodge]

Ooohh, sounds yummy. Do you know why they upset your system?

 

[hodge]

I miss having Chinese food. I can't eat it out here. Here they all put oyster sauce in everything, and I'm allergic to anything that comes in a shell. Back in Detroit I could have szechuan chicken, fried rice, egg foo yung, yum, yum. Not here. A totally different Chinese culture settled out here and I can't eat any of it, nor do I want to. I hate having allergic reactions.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Rule 1). Never ever call yourself a name!

Rule 2). Repeat as needed

Sometimes we just gotta eat something, or do something that isn't healthy. We suffer, then forget and do it again... it's ok!!!!

 

[BlueOrange]

Lots of people choose short-term enjoyment, even when there's a perfectly predictable negative consequence. (eg, a hangover)

Choosing dumplings + a dumpling hangover isn't something I'd recommend, but I wouldn't make a big deal over it :)

It's a shame your husband forgot what to do when you wanted him to remember - horribly ironic that the stressful moments when we need our skills are also the moments when we are likely to forget them!

 

[EveHarrington]

mmmm gyoza. Worth the suffering, IMO. ;)

Not an idiot, either. We do what we have to do to get by. Some...

I don't think you know the pain of gluten issues if you say it's worth it. For me, nothing is worth the pain of ingesting gluten. I think it's attitudes like this as to why society rolls it's eyes and says "ohhhh, you're one of THOSE!" when you say you're gluten free. It's not taken as a serious issue. But those damn peanut people ruin everything for everyone. Go figure.

 

[Fadeaway]

@hodge I have celiacs disease. The joys of autoimmune, they often come in multiples. Shellfish allergy must suck bad.

@EveHarrington Thankyou. I am not sure people realized what I mean when I referred to this as self harm, but I wasn't sure how to respond.

It isn't just the stomach pain, although last night I was alternating between can't sit still need to pace up and down the hall, and I can't move gotta stay sitting. It is the severe swelling. My sinus swell shut, which is the first giveaway for me that I have been exposed to gluten. I have full body inflammation so I hurt everywhere. I am on day four now of a severe migraine. Fortunately, I am more noise sensitive than I am light sensitive. The fun one is having to bear down hard to pee because that is swollen shut too.

The other problem is I already suffer from iron copper and folate deficiency as the result of another autoimmune disorder. And since I basically just killed off the cilia in my small intestine I won't be absorbing any nutrients for a while.

That is really the big problem with gluten is the long term malabsorption issues after exposure.

 

[hodge]

Oh, Fade. At least I can avoid shellfish. I'm so sorry you have to deal with Celiacs.

Does Benedryl help at all? I've taken 50 mg. when I've inadvertantly ingested shellfish or beeswax, which I'm also allergic to. And it's really helped me.

 

[Fadeaway]

@hodge, it isn't an allergy or else the hydroxyzine I take for anxiety would help. It is an autoimmune response same as my hemolytic anemia. I think my body has self hate issues completely unrelated to anything mental. lol.

I have never hear of beeswax allergy before, that must really be difficult to avoid because there are no labeling laws.