Terrified At The Thought Of Ending Therapy

[Alibongo]

Hiya not been on for a while so apologies- have been dealing with a lot of stuff
Saw my T on Monday and she wanted to do a review to see whether it was helping or not. She feels I'm getting better as I had a good couple of weeks however only 4-6 weeks ago I went to a really dark place. I'm scared that comes back again although T doesn't think it will. Maybe my expectations were unrealistic but I thought that therapy could make a massive difference- don't get me wrong it has helped but I still have the anxiety. She wants me to see a psychiatrist to discuss medication but im not keen. Does this mean that this is as good as I am going to get? That I'm going to suffer this for the rest of my life?
Thanx for ur support x

 

[Iamsensative]

@Alibongo, i totally understand your fears. Is there anyway that you can get therapy extended? I know your really not sure about medication and its a personal decision but it can be very helpful. The roller-coaster is very tough, but it does get better. Self care is extremely important, be kind to yourself and no that your fighting a battle one day at a time. Sorry your going through this. Dont lose hope. I am struggling also you are not alone. Keep reaching out. Peace and Love

 

[Alibongo]

@Alibongo, i totally understand your fears. Is there anyway that you can get th...

I'm not sure I could ask but is there any point if they can't help anymore? The thought of having to deal with it all on my own is so scary. I'm just not keen on having to rely on medication to feel ok. It just sucks. I'm really sorry ur having a tough time too. Hugs xxx

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I used to be terrified of taking meds to help me. After 2 or 3 years, I decided to try them. I rely on the for sleep and for counteracting anxiety. I don't rely on them, but meds alone can never make me feel okay. I have heard from several providers that medication alone won't help, that doesn't mean that's true for everyone. And it's your choice you can refuse any medications you are uncomfortable taking even if you do meet with the psychiatrist.

Is this a case where you are only allowed see a therapist for a certain amount of time? Is there a way to talk with her an change her mind? So she sees you as having improved in two weeks, but you don't feel like you're ready because you don't feel much difference and it wasn't so long ago that things were really bad for you. Is there a way to tell her that and to maybe arrange another review in 2 weeks or a month? And give specific reasons why (am having 4 panic attacks a day, I get scared to walk down the street, a night the really dark thoughts creep back in...whatever it is for you).

I am sorry that you are in this situation, but I hope it somehow gets worked out.

 

[Alibongo]

I used to be terrified of taking meds to help me. After 2 or 3 years, I decided to try th...

Yeah she said we would have a couple more sessions so I'll have a chat with her about it - part of the problem is I still find it hard to actually say out loud what's in my head but that's something I need to figure out for myself.
I will do that thanks very much for ur advice x

 

[7Cs]

I'm not sure I could ask but is there any point if they can't help anymore? The thought of having to d...

I don't believe that you're beyond any further help. Especially if you're so scared of continuing without therapeutic support. I've been in therapy for over 20 years, though most of it has been supportive therapy since ptsd can amplify daily stressors.

If you can't get what you need from this therapist is it possible to find a different one that can offer what you need?

As far as medication, it's done wonders for me. I'm pretty sure it will be life long since I have more of a complex childhood trauma with major abandonment issues. I still hope to wean off someday though.

 

[Alibongo]

I don't believe that you're beyond any further help. Especially if you're so scared of continuing without t...

We have the nhs in the UK so there are limits to how long you can be in therapy I think. I would need to find a private therapist I think. It's frustrating as I'm only just now starting to open up to her and that's been nearly a year. Yeah I speak to the psychiatrist and see what he has to say. I'm glad the meds help u and I hope u get off them too thanks for ur reply

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I hear you @Alibongo you are in a difficult situation.

I agree that you are NOT beyond help at all. Perhaps you are still in need of therapy coaching and support though. Have you practiced many coping tools? Do you have ways to help anticipatory anxiety? is there a part of you that is afraid of what if you hit another dark place and have no one to go to?

May I ask what your therapy schedule is? Are you seeing your therapist weekly? If so, would it be possible to stretch out the sessions? Perhaps your therapist would agree to something like that?

I fought my therapist against taking any medication for a couple of years. I finally agreed when I was having suicidal ideations more regularly and the depression became too severe. He coached me through the process of starting the meds and followed up rather closely. I felt that I was taking a huge step backwards. The dose I'm on is very very light. It really just puts a safety platform in place. At the time, I felt a huge sense of release after adjusting. I've certainly not had a bad experience with it. I also realize and accept that taking them does not mean I'm getting any worse. In fact, I'm admitting to a need and taking steps to help myself.

 

[Alibongo]

I hear you @Alibongo you are in a difficult situation.

I agree that you are NOT...

I see her every 2 weeks for an hour at the moment. We have done grounding work, relaxation/breathing and a wee bit of exposure therapy. The breathing and safe place idea are what I've been taught to use but I find it difficult to do when I'm panicking. Yeah I'm scared that if I go back to that place again I'll not be able to stop myself-don't have any friends to talk to about it as they haven't bothered with me since the attack and I don't like to bother people with it all. I guess I just never saw myself as being the type of person who couldn't cope but then who does. I think I'm really struggling to accept the person I've become.
Thank u for replying x

 

[EveHarrington]

Sounds like this is a function of the NHS and not you. My advice is to not internalize their actions. Seems like the NHS is prone to doing the minimum and then sends you packing.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I understand your apprehension about meds. Nhs psychiatrist prescribed me Effexor, and I ended up with symptoms of pernicious anaemia. Other meds have made me suicidal. Be careful. I think talking is better. You should tell the therapist your concerns. There's always the support here from members, I have found it better than therapy to be honest! I hope you find a solution.

 

[Alibongo]

Thanks very much x