Other Coping After The Us Election.

[hodge]

Holy crap, @scout86! What a crime. I'm going out to buy some safety pins tomorrow.

 

[hodge]

@The ANP, it is not sanctioned by most of us. Don't forget he lost the popular vote. I know that's not an overwhelming comfort, but you have us here. We all understand and feel the same way. And we will persevere. It may not happen in our lifetimes, but truth and justice will out in the end, as long as we keep bucking for them.

 

[EveHarrington]

I mentioned to my mum that it felt like millions of people had just sanctioned sexual abuse with...

My mom replied in the exact same way. I don't mean to sound exclusionary, but this really is a time where unless it's happened to you, you will not get it, you will not feel this level of constant terror.

2/3 of my county voted for him. 2/3 of the people said "that ain't no thing! Grabbing a woman isn't a big deal." Completely invalidated in one fell swoop. 2/3 of the people I walk past on the street think grabbing a woman is nothing major.

<deleted shocking analogy because I want to use it in real life. Lol>

 

[lostforgottensoul]

But for me, there is a difference between voting for sexual abuse (my warped reality), and voting for a man who happens to sexually abuse women for kicks, but for completely different reasons. It's still not okay, but it's easier for me framing it like that.

Perfect reply! That's what I meant when I said I reframed it. You just have the words when I fail for them.

Even though I know people we not voting for sexual predation when they voted for Trump, they were voting to ignore it.

Not really.

Yes, it bothers me that the US shurgs a shoulder, a bit, at sexual assult but there are about a millon eggs in this basket.

When I took a giant step backwards and looked at it from that perspective (and not the PTSD triggered 'I wanna run' state I was in) it looks VERY different for me.

My therapist, whom said Trump would be a dangerous President, said today exactly what I am doing. He said he isn't flipping out and having protest, the people have spoken, but he is standing and watching silently cautious.

When did America, and the world, really not shrug a shoulder at sexual assult? 1 in 4 but many aren't believed. Many are discredited. Many are encouraged to be silent about it. Yes, this is a larger scale of the problem but this has been happening all along. We have all been through that, I think, at some point.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Spoiler: Spoiler for political content, off-topic from thread.

What bothers me is how many people are so uneducated about the election process and the actual impact of the US election. I am a delegate for my party/precinct. It is not just here in this forum that I hear very similar tales. Mostly, here in the college I am attending, students are upset that *a woman was not elected*. You o not vote for someone because of their race. Or their color. Or their gender. You vote for them IF you think they can do the job. And even when they are elected, it really does not matter what they said before hand. You see, the US has checks and balances. LOTS of checks and balances. Obama found a way around them, which is being fought.

Executive orders are not, technically, legal. They bypass the important part of the checks and balances in the system- the senate and congress. That is the only way he managed to get Obamacare in place. That and many other asinine laws that were passed, by both republican and democrat presidents. EO's are there when actions have been taken against the Constitution. Too often that has been abused.

Now a piece that I told the members of the precinct I am delegate for- "Ladies and gntlemen, the election is over. The time is now that we put our party standings aside and work together with one-another to make America a better place. If you look throughout history you will find that when Americans did that, America prospered. And so did those that worked together. If they were able to be successful doing that back then, then I see now reason why we cannot be successful in doing this now."

And that is my suggestion for the folks here in MyPTSD.
For what it's worth....

Mod edit: @cactus_jack wrote a very thoughtful post, but it's geared towards the wider partisan discussion, not focused as per the OP. If you care to read it, please do.

 

[joeylittle]

This is not a thread about the politics. It's about coping with triggers that are associated with the president-elect's statements made during his campaign.

Re-read the OP: right here

Thanks.

 

[hodge]

I have stayed logged into FB because there are a few people I like to chat with on there now and then, especially now.

I am wondering whether my former favorite aunt will start a chat with me, as she always used to do before I told her I'd have to pray for her soul if she voted for him. I think she'll wait a little while until she does again. She probably thinks I'll "get over it." Ha, no way. No self-respecting humane person can just "get over" this.

I was hoping to do ART on the phone ringing again this Monday. I think that's not happening. I need to work on processing this. I can feel some anger creeping up in addition to the numbness and which is mostly directed toward my aunt. Which is not good or fun. To be honest, she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she always took care of me when my mother was so abusive and I was stuck there. I am not surprised she voted the way she did, but her comment that "the past is the past" really cut me. Guess I saw her other true colors then.

 

[joeylittle]

When did America, and the world, really not shrug a shoulder at sexual assult? 1 in 4 but many aren't believed. Many are discredited. Many are encouraged to be silent about it. Yes, this is a larger scale of the problem but this has been happening all along.

Sorry, but to me this is the same as saying "well, when hasnt dark skin been thought of as inferior to light skin? Sure, hate crime is a problem, but it's been that way all along".

Personally, I'm not ok with that.

The positive coming from all this that I see, is the same I saw in the Stanford rape case - bringing attitudes such as 'women are for taking' forward into the mainstream conversation helps call the question on whether or not attitudes like that are actually acceptable.

I'm not especially triggered by this; but my ethics are very bothered by the fact that the conversation came and went. And yes, seeing past the implications of some of his comments was a tacit form of accepting that message.

I'm sad that's how it went down, but hope that there's a dialogue that continues to open up around the issue of the female body as something that men have a right to take when they want it.

And yeah, I do think it's gendered like that. This isn't equal-opportunity assault, it's old-school powerful male on female assault. That's not to say that other forms are lesser; just to say that it's specific - and that makes it something not easily grasped by all.

My therapist is fairly enlightened and it took about 30 minutes of back and forth to see the light bulb turn on for him - that in calling it 'misogyny' he was actually skipping over the main point. It's saying that it's ok to joke about or brag about assault - even if it's just 'locker-room talk'.

It's not, really.

 

[hodge]

@joeylittle -- yes! And it's also the women who condone or excuse this that really bother me.

And the racial hate? Good God, I really thought most of us were beyond that. It hurts like hell to be shown how incredibly wrong I was. I have been giving my friends of color extra TLC lately as they are suffering so much, too.

 

[EveHarrington]

PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC PER MODS!

If you think they won't close this thread in a heartbeat, please look back at the number of political type threads that were closed when people couldn't resist replying OT.

People need to heal. Please remember that healing is by far and beyond more important than putting your opinion about politics in here. I am not silencing anyone. I am saying that this is not the time or the place for political opinion. Pushing an opinion (based on the past), can/will get these types of threads closed. Please don't silence the many of us who are truly hurting.

Signed,
The OP

 

[Gs172003]

One thing that ticked me off was people and their "it's just locker room talk" as in men talk like that all the time. BS. Ive worked with some pretty raunchy men and they didn't talk like that.
.that said ..if he does anything stupid in this climate I hope he'll be gone. In a new York minute. People are watching him like a hawk. Maybe that can be of some comfort?

 

[scout86]

2/3 of my county voted for him. 2/3 of the people said "that ain't no thing!

I can't let this go without correcting the numbers. And, maybe, trying to see things as accurately as possible is actually one of the things I'm doing to 'cope'.

2/3 of voters did NOT vote for him. Clinton got 47.57% of the popular vote. Trump got 47.05% Other candidates got somewhere around 5%, according to the table I'm looking at right now. The numbers might be off slightly, but the point is, no one got over half the votes and Trump didn't get the most popular votes.

Of the people who voted for him, a percentage are people I tend to think of as "Aryan Nation types". But it's got to be a smallish percentage because the number of people in this country who are that openly racist is small. A percentage, agree with his views on women, and the disabled, and POW's etc. But again, I think that percentage is small. MOST of the people who voted for him (and this is JMO) are scared. And he, and others, are scaring them. A lot of him find stuff like what he said about rape to be so 'out there' they can't believe he's serious. They haven't got the experience with people like that to base a belief on and it's just WAY outside their person version of reality. The rest of us have an opportunity to expand their world view. My plan is to make the best use of that opportunity I can. It's resulting in some interesting conversations. A comment that I got yesterday was that it was interesting to be able to talk about this stuff with someone who didn't share his (the person I was talking to) views but who also didn't get angry. I'm kind of of the 'don't get mad, get even' persuasion. LOL Pick a tactic that actually works, if you can. But keep trying to educate people, it's our best hope, I really think.