Childhood Can being spanked or beaten with a belt as a child cause problems in adulthood

[Sideways]

If you go back and read my post again u wasn't responding to you.

Yeah, I got that. But it’s still the OP’s thread, to deal with the OP’s issues.

I don’t think “I coped, so suck it up” is really very helpful. To, like, anyone.

 

[Gs172003]

Yeah, I got that. But it’s still the OP’s thread, to deal with the OP’s issues.

I don’...

I didn't mean it like that to her. It was in response to someone else and the way THEY said it. Not everybody that was spanked was beaten. The OP was treated horrible and I'm sorry for that but the way it was said by someone else was, to me like, every child that is spanked is beaten and that's not the case. I reacted badly and I'm sorry.

 

[Deleted member 45530]

You seem the most harsh out of all the comments yet, you're the Christian..

Also I wasn't bas...

Maybe it would be better to not give your attention to the ones not trying to help and give it to the people who spent 15 minutes writing an essay trying to help you....

Oh please. I was spanked as a child and am fine. Beatings are not the same as a spanking. As far as your...

If the Bible condones even just one line of hate, yes, it's a bad book. There is no proof or evidence for any religion; therefore, any argument you bring to the table is invalid. I'm sorry if that offends you. Go watch Richard Dawkins on YouTube or something. Just like a woman who thinks she's pregnant starts imagining symptoms, she freaks herself out, and it may seem like she really is pregnant even if she's not. It's simple psychology. If you look for it, you can trick your mind into believing it's there. I said parents hurting their children "to varying degrees." You can't expect everyone's situation to be the same. We are one of the only countries out of dozens that still legalizes corporal punishment. Go look up the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US was the only state not party to the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. South Sudan and Somalia became party to it recently. THAT makes a statement.

I posted something on myptsd a while back that included me mentioning getting belted alot as a child and some pe...

Lol I'm sticking to chat. People are ungrateful on here, and attack me anyway for trying to help. Peace out.

 

[Gs172003]

If the Bible condones even just one line of hate, yes, it's a bad book. There is no proof or evidence...

And this is who I was talking to.

I'm not even going to engage you.

 

[Deleted member 45530]

And this is who I was talking to.

I'm not even going to engage you.

You just did.... It just seems like you have nothing to come back with anyway. Which is true.

Plus, I HAVE more than enough of the Bible. That's part of the reason I am not a Christian anymore. Slavery, rape, murder, homophobia, etc. etc.

 

[Gs172003]

Plus, I HAVE more than enough of the Bible. That's part of the reason I am not a Christian anymore. S...

Ok.

I thought you were going to chat?

 

[Deleted member 45530]

Ok.

I thought you were going to chat?

You keep replying, that's why :joyful:

 

[joeylittle]

Enough derailment. Let the thread get back to topic.

 

[Gs172003]

Enough derailment. Let the thread get back to topic.

Thank you

 

[Scarlet13]

So, I want to chime in here. I was raised very strictly Catholic. I was hit with a belt, spoon, hairbrush, and yard stick.
My mother did this, but dated a man for a couple of years who really did this to me.
It was always called a "spanking".
My mother's bf hit me with his belt and it became sexualized.
They made my punishments about me, about who I was. This is the key to how it becomes attached to religion.
So, I was bad, selfish, disrespectful, lazy and so on. The punishments were there to save this inherently "sinful nature" inside of me.
But, really I had ADHD and was just also a highly curious, creative child. I was not "bad" or "sinning".
My behavior got worse the more I was punished. It created bad behavior.
Church triggers me because of many reasons. The "humans are inherently evil/bad argument" that can get emphasized in sermons and songs is triggering. The memories of being in church with my abusive family is triggering.
I also hate forced intimacy, like having to hold hands/shake hands.
However, there are things I like about church, the peacefulness, the soothing acceptance that can be there. The view point of God being a healer, walking with you during dark times. I am inspired by Christ's suffering, the way he handled it, his strength.
But I do not like when church can be down on humanity, how sinful humans are, because I was seen as "bad and sinful" as a child.
I read the Gospels thoroughly and am struck by in each Gospel story, Jesus is so completely accepting and non judgemental of those who are suffering.
So, I am not saying no to attending church, but just no to services and messages that focus too heavily upon how bad and evil everyone is.
Yes, humans are messed up, do make mistakes, but that particular message can be triggering to me.
I grew up really, really Catholic though, and there was a strict sacrificing nature to everything. I was always called selfish, so I do not want to be told how selfish I am in church.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Along with getting hit as a punishment my parents made it clear that it was god that made them do it not them. They supported what they were doing with the Bible which in turn has resulted me in hating religion and religious people. I swore off everything religious up until I recently met a mate who loves god. I want to be like my mate and love god however, everytime we step foot in a church i can't help but remember all the punishments I received as a child. When thinking about god all I can think about is getting beaten with a belt or spanked. I usually turn to self harming or get really depressed/sick after participating in anything religious related and I think my mate is noticing my depressed mood after reading the Bible or going to church

I can relate to this 100%! I grew up in a cult. All rituals, no matter how extreme, was for "god", to love "god", to worship "god", etc. I took refuage in a chrstian youth center so I was exposed to "normal christians" (for lack of a better term) and also have a very fundlementalist christian family (dad's side) and so, straight out of the cult or even before I had this will to "be saved" and have this wonderful relationship with this "god". And I tried hard to. Got "saved" at 13 when my parents shockingly let me go to a Michael W Smith concert with some kids at school. That lady told me "god will protect you" which my 13 yr old brain took literal. Christians honestly need to choose their wording better. Anyway, I tried to "worship god" the "right" way even though that meant more punishments. Harsher punishments. I'll show you punishments. It lasted a month and then I tore that bible into a million pieces and threw that part of me into the cult.

I often feel christianity is a "prettier" cult. Recruitment. Those that don't believe get punished with hell fire. Yeah anyway.

All my 20s was me trying to "conform" to the "great christian girl" my family wanted. Until one day I said "f*ck it" and posted on Facebook "I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD". Yeah, that started a fight that still happens today.

My advice is to work with that part of your trauma. Stop locking up things in your brain. Deal with any trauma that maybe there. And one day you will resolve yourself spiritually. My therapist is also a pastoral counselor and I feel I got lucky there. Even though he works in a secular PDoc's office, we can work on these very unresolved parts of my past. We can talk about "god", "god stuff", and "church people". I have the want to hit "god" over the head with a baseball bat a million times but I am ok with that. Before I wasn't and felt I needed to "give god all my burdens" and "lay it at the cross" (which today those phrases makes zero sense to me) but today I am ok at being confused about spirituality and if there is a "god" then he/she gets my confusion, my anger, my hatred, and why I put anything to do with him/her in quotes. If there is a "god" then they see your heart, understands, and has patience. You just work on your trauma, don't force yourself to go to church if it makes you uncomfortable or upset. Yes, exposure therapy is needed but maybe now is not the right time. And if your mate loves you for you they will understand the need to work on unresolved issues surrounding religon. Today I accept all religons as possibily true. I think they are all worshiping the same "god" differently. I am content with where I stand spiritually.

I would obsess over BDSM thoughts at a really young age like 5 years old

Sexual fantisies or? If so, how does a 5 yr old know about sex

As far as your explanation of church...I have been going to church nmy entire life and my experience is the entire opposite of what you just laid out. I have had many prayers answered. I have never been abused

I have been raped by several pastors. Not everyone's experience of church is the same. Today I refuse to ever go in one and start to have flashbacks and disossiate when I drive by one.

and those that actually understand the Bible knows it's NOT depressing it's full of hope. So don't speak on things you don't fully understand

The christian bible is also full of war, murders, child murder, sacrifice, and some horrid things.

 

[frogthroat]

If you're religious or non-religious that's your preference. I'm going to respond to the OP here and if you disagree that's fine but let's leave it at that.
Okay. I was raised as a "Christian." My dad doesn't even talk to me now because I can't have children and I moved out of the house on my own without a man. When I cut my long hair off he told me I looked like a fat dyke and no would ever want me now. Also, because I was 27 at the time and wasn't married with kids I was an old maid. He asked me when I was giving him grandkids even though he wanted nothing to do with my brother or I and was drunk most of our lives. I've been ostracized by him for not being a baby machine and he even blamed my abuse on why my mom and him got divorced. There's no way you can be a woman and be okay with Christianty or any religion for that matter. I'm not saying I know what life is about but it's definitely not what's spoonfed to you as a child.
I understand being beaten until you're actually aroused by it. Our situations were completely different. I was beaten by someone else that wasn't a parent. My dad would throw me down the stairs or over furniture or if we had a dog we loved he would "accidently fall on it when he was drunk" and kill it but never beat me. When someone is stripping you or holding you down and just beating the tar out of you there is something sexual about it. It's a show of dominance and it's horribly humiliating. I don't think you should be ashamed of the feelings you have about being beaten at all. It's very damaging to the psyche of a child and to use religion to reinforce why you're being pulverized sends mixed messages. You start to equate love with pain and that creates communication, sexual, and relationship problems in general.