Sexual Assault Is there any point in reporting?

[Mee]

Not arguing with you even though you are dead set on arguing with me and proving me wrong.

In m...

I ‘ m not arguing with you,just giving my experience and explaining its different in different jurisdictions and circumstances of sexual assault .

As you have lived through it as have I we both have a valid perspective I think? That’s why i think local information is really helpful. I am sorry that you felt I was arguing with you, not my intention!

 

[CdnCopper]

Lots of jurisdictions are different in their approach to historical sex crimes.

Here in Canada, where I was a cop, anyone that comes forward with an allegation can expect that it will be investigated. This may or may not include interviewing the suspect. This all depends on the victims account and any supporting evidence they may have, i.e. a disclosure made to a third party at the time, a text, email, letter, medical records etc that can assist in corroborating the victims account of events.

When the evidence is collected its then presented to our Crown Attorney {prosecutor} who determines if there is a prospect of conviction. If not, its dead.

On the plus side, no matter what the outcome there will be a "record" on file.

 

[ILoveLife]

In my country, even if they go fourth with investigation there's no guarantee the victim will be treated with respect.

Many cases of abuse in adolescence go under because the judge rules that the victim was in puberty and so she asked for it.
In childhood the issue is taboo, the child is cohersed into protecting the perpretator or admit confusion. If an investigation even happens.
In adulthood, the victim (if female) is often the one on metaphorical trial, because it is her "duty" to please the partner.

Then, the limited time given for a formal complaint is too short, there's multiple not-trauma-informed tests, repeating endlessly the same story so they know the victim has her facts straight, if the victim was intoxicated she loses credibility, and often, even if she passes all these issues, the court rules insuficient evidence.

It's a no-win situation, and for people researching and working in the field in helping victims, it's often a lonely battle against a patriarchal system that condones violence against women and between men.

I live in a developed western country, so you know.

 

[Sideways]

Here in Australia, you wouldn’t report it if your goal was to obtain “justice” through a criminal conviction. Depending on what state you live in, as many as 9 out of 10 rape complaints to police never make it to trial (let alone a conviction).

But there are other reasons that motivate some people to report, in spite of the stats against them. Some need to do it for the sake of closure, some need want the police to have a record of the complaint in case there are future victims whose complaint they could support (or, indeed, existing complaints about the perp that you don’t know about). Some people? Just need to stick it to the system and claim back what they see as a voice, or to be part of the slow (slooooow) cultural shift against victim blaming.

For me? I reported because I needed to start behaving like what happend to me was a serious criminal offence, to help shift me out of some serious Stockholm syndrome issues. Conviction? Never gonna happen. Probably he will never be questioned by police. But it helped me. A lot. In large part because getting him out in prison wasn’t my goal.

So, there’s lots of reasons people choose to report. Ultimately, it’s got to be a personal decision about what you need to heal.

The way you will be treated if you decide to report? Will vary not just from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but literally from one police precinct to the next. Some places? You can actually find a whole lot of victim support built into the reporting process. Most places though? Not so much.

It’s something to talk over with your T. There is no obligation on you to report, and it’s likely that the process of reporting in itself may be retraumatising, so don’t rush your decision either way. Having good support in place is, IMO, an important first step.

 

[Mee]

Sideways, you make a great point about closure . I am sure my report helped me deal with that aspect of my situation.

 

[Eliza]

Thanks guys. I really feel like I need closure. I'm not in therapy anymore as my "big" trauma was unrelated to this. But I feel like my MH from that trauma is really feeding into my anxiety and insecurity about this one. I'm basically realising I'm not as strong a person as I thought. And the fact I can't seem to get over this is feeding that belief.

 

[somerandomguy]

I'm basically realising I'm not as strong a person as I thought. And the fact I can't seem to get over this is feeding that belief.

That's a belief worth questioning. I don't see you as weak at all. Just the fact that you are here asking these questions shows me, at least, that you are very strong indeed.

 

[Mee]

That's a belief worth questioning. I don't see you as weak at all. Just the fact that you are here...

I think that you are considering reporting it your strength. The minority do report.

I also would say that I am learning nothing is unrelated in my life. I don’t mean in a cosmic way but in a ‘this impacted me this way because of that’ way.

I hope you find peace whatever you decide.

 

[Eliza]

Thanks guys.

Yes - I have discovered that a lot of things are related to my PTSD that I didn't think would be impacted by it.

I don't think I will report him. There's no way I would win, and although it's nothing to be embarrassed about, I don't want people to think I'm a bitter ex, or that I'm in some way just after his money. I'll get over it eventually.

 

[Hooper]

The odds are .6% will be sentenced to jail time. From a mathematical standpoint a point is a 1% chance. The majority of men are not rapist. I think it makes sense to put the perpetrator on the radar. Maybe when someone else reports it will be taken seriously. What did I do as a male at 14 who was not assaulted but propositioned repeatedly by a 50 yr old male? Nothing. I was ashamed something I did made him think I was gay which was at the time a huge fear of any male growing up in the southern part of the US. I have no grounds to advise you. I know the shame and the self blame. Do what works for you. My experience was 34 years ago and the perp is dead. I am certain others came after me who would have benefited from courage on my part. Predators know this. They are skilled at what they do. I don't have answers. I can tell you if you think female rape or attempted rape is under reported I can assure you it is much more under reported by men/boys. They dance in the grey areas with ease. I don't know the answer. It does eat at my core especially since it did happen to my wife. Wish you the best.

 

[AliciaEff]

Lots of jurisdictions are different in their approach to historical sex crimes.

Here in Canada, wher...

Can we talk about how it works a bit more? I’m in southern ontario and I want to report my abuser 12 years on. I just have a few questions like:

1-I want to know if I make a report is that it? Or will they call me with further questions and updates?

2- If they question him and he claims I’m lying, do I need to go back in? Am I a now open to being investigated for filing a false report?