Childhood Anyone so angry at yourself as a child?

[WishfulThinking123]

Does anyone feel beyond angry with yourself for not standing up for yourself as a child? Just disassociating and letting shit happen?

 

[Abstract]

Yes.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

My T says I have unrealistic expectations of myself as a child....but the same pattern just kept happening as an adult so im just beyond angry I dont stand up for myself and the times I did....it didnt matter anyways....how do you get past this?

 

[Mach123]

Totally.

 

[somerandomguy]

I used to be ... and then I realized I was only hurting myself. I have a much better relationship with my inner child now, and a big part of that was understanding that there was nothing I could have done differently as a child.

 

[piratelady]

.how do you get past this?

I have the same feelings and also wonder how I will get passed it.

 

[Hopeforlife]

Yes. My inner child seems dumb. I never had any speech connection and I have no memories as a child with words. I understand a little now why this was the case probably through disassociation etc. Really trying hard to give her a voice. I’m so frustrated and angry even though I know that’s what I did as a child to save and protect myself. Trying to inject some compassion...

 

[EveHarrington]

Maybe you’re angry at your inner child/yourself because it’s safer than directing the anger back on your abuser where it should be.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

@EveHarrington Actually what yo said is probably right on point and this is a point my t stated last time...

However... I have such confusion like first in total denial like it all wasnt even bad in the first place then just total anger and hatred towards myself like its my fault because I didnt stand up for myself or say anything in the moment... Really though, I just feel like people have been through so many worse things why cant I just move on and enjoy my life now...instead I seem to be stuck in this never-ending looping movie of the past that I cant seem to get out of...

 

[Lost_Soul]

Does anyone feel beyond angry with yourself for not standing up for yourself as a child? Jus...

Yes but not sure for the same things. I had no problems with standing up for others, I became a bullies bully which I still am today. Mine was more so for allowing men to do things they shouldn’t have and I knew better. I think about it a lot now that I’m older.

 

[EveHarrington]

I understand. I have anger issues where I can’t get angry at the people I should be angry at, and I divert the anger elsewhere. It’s not an easy thing to work through. :hug:

 

[Ronin]

No. I am angry for standing up for myself / others and it being jack all good. For losing who was mine. For not doing more. For not doing that whichever it was that would be to make others safe and well.