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Can I not even tell if I’m hungry?

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 47600
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Deleted member 47600

I’ve struggled with depersonalisation I while now but it’s been getting worse recently. I suffer with an eating disorder but I’m not doing too shabby with food recently because my way of dealing with this was “eat when you’re hungry”/“listen to your body” because it just made a lot of sense. But recently I’ve not been feeling hungry... or full? Like nothing at all. So I just don’t eat- it’s not at the forefront of my mind, I don’t particually like the thoughts afterwards, either. Anyway I got told by a support worker that it had something to do with my body literally not even bothering telling my brain because I’ve been feeling so spacey. Does anyone who if this is true? I went to pizza express today and I literally ate a whole pizza- which doesn’t sound loads but I’d normally manage like 1/4 because the pizza I picked was quite big. And the staff I went with got the same and they finished like half and were nearly in a food comma and I could have ate about 3 more! I literally didn’t feel any different after which I don’t like at all! But if I don’t eat I let it get to the point where I run up the stairs and feel really dizzy at the top and that’s my only way of realising what my body actually needs at the minute. Does anyone else have this?
 
“eat when you’re hungry”/“listen to your body”
I did this back when I was 17. I didn't realize at all that I never ate. I went down to about 90 lbs and stand at 5.9. It wasn't a good look.

I don't feel pain either. Or hot. Or cold. I can feel the contrast but not 'gee it is getting hot in here. People keep talking about how hot this summer was. lol. Me? 'It was????'

Anyway, most of my peeps now know this about me.

So yes, this is a 'thing'. What you want to aim for along the way (with a therapist and in good time) is to learn how to embody again.

In the meantime, I suggest making eating an intellectual process for now. It makes sense to eat at least 2x a day. Drink lots of water (I never get thirsty either). And look around to see what else you may not be doing that is necessary to good health.
 
Erh, yes. AFAIK not uncommon in either ED / starvation or dissociation land.

I would have on hand meals you can digest, no matter what, or close, and eat as a have to kind of thing, until that normalizes & your body starts doing the Eat, Now. thing again.
 
When I am detached from by body or emotionally numb, I don't feel hungry and I don't eat. I have to set reminders for myself to eat something even if I am not hungry. I cook for my family so that is a cue to eat, when I feed my dogs that is another cue, or when others around me are eating. I have to keep the meals small, frequent and healthy so I don't drop too much weight or get ill.

I don't know what to say other than to be very mindful when you are eating and actually prepping, cooking and eating can be helpful in grounding. For me, especially the prep so I don't cut my fingers.
 
I have to say that in my experience intuitive eating, for all its wonders and benefits was a dangerous thing for me to rely on entirely in context of my eating disorders. What I ended up doing is taking some aspects of it that had value for me and always keeping an eye on what is needed rather than waiting for me to decide its needed. Could you prepare or decide for yourself in a lose sense what you will eat ahead? You might have needed that pizza though! ;-)
 
Though I generally don't, I can lose my sense of hunger. Usually in times of great distress/depression. When that has happened, I stuck to eating schedules because otherwise I wouldn't eat. I ate because I knew I needed it. Not because I felt hungry. Eating at least twice a day, drinking non caffeinated drinks (these won't dehydrated you), healthy stuff if you can manage it is ideal. If I couldn't eat healthy, I ate what I could manage, eating is better than not at all. Premade meals help me when I feel like crap. I lost weight, but not an unhealthy amount. My hungry is back. I'll forget eat from time to time, but it's not the norm.

I never drink enough, this has made me dizzy in the past. I keep large tumblers of water around to sip on through out the day. Strangely drinking more regularly seems like it's made me thirstier haha.
 
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