How do you build/find self worth?

[Spacefish]

@willhealeventually thank you. I joined earlier this year and have done a bit of reading here to see what/how others are dealing with stuff which is really helpful, I spent most of my 53 years feeling crazy/freakish because of things that happened to me and my ways of coping in the world. I first started therapy in 1990 but had breaks over the years. I was diagnosed with PTSD/severe dissociation in 1999 but no one told me. Again in early 2000's - and again no-one told me. I decided I was a hopeless case and left therapy ... and only started again late last year. I was lead through trauma after trauma and then she threatened to get me sectioned to acute mental health services so I bolted. Going somewhere like that would have just been the end for me.

At the moment, my time is one of discovery, labelling, reading and information seeking - and trying to find/maintain safety and stability. I keep just trying to remember "stillness and acceptance" of where I am, it is for a reason and nothing is going to change in a hurry. I have a good psychiatrist but only get to see him every couple of months. He's probably the only person in the world I really trust which is ironic when I think how I've done so well to stay away from the system and that profession - out of fear of my craziness. I talked to him about the self harm / suicide / anger mess I was in, and he so calmly asked that next time I had these thoughts to just enquire as to whether it was me I was really wanting to hurt - or someone else. I think he was on to something there. I have a new therapist but after the last one, I struggle to trust (even more) and every slight negative in my response/reaction to her becomes a huge one - so I'm not sure if I can stay with her.

So guess bringing things back to topic - How do you build/find self worth? - for me at the moment, "acceptance and stillness/calmness" are key for me. Acceptance of where I have come from and what I have been through which has lead me here today. Stillness and calmness not to run and hide, but just let it sit and know it is from the past. I think that until I can do that I'm always going to be running from myself, and I'll never be able to build or find what I need to be compassionate and self loving.

 

[willhealeventually]

@Spacefish thank you for sharing your story.

for me at the moment, "acceptance and stillness/calmness" are key for me. Acceptance of where I have come from and what I have been through which has lead me here today. Stillness and calmness not to run and hide, but just let it sit and know it is from the past.

At my partial hospitalization program, we did a lot of mindfulness and meditation. At first, I did think it was useful. But I was proven wrong when I started noticing flashbacks and triggers, which was much better than not noticing them and just thinking it was life as usual.

Trust is very difficult for me too. I am starting to trust the possibility that at least a few people in my life don’t wish to hurt me and even would like to help me. My lack of trust formed and froze early in life - I know it’s my way of protecting myself. I try to be conscious of the fact that my perception of threat is mostly distorted, but that’s a work in progress.
I wish you well!

 

[Spacefish]

@willhealeventually thank you!

I try to be conscious of the fact that my perception of threat is mostly distorted, but that’s a work in progress.
I wish you well!

Anthony has a thread called Primary cognitive distortions (negative thinking styles) which is good. Trying to intercept / reinterpret / take control of the distorted cognitions - and manage the neuro/physiological elements of PTSD as well. It is so hard. Sometimes I just feel like taking a chill pill and laying out for the day without feeling anything ... just for a break.

Good luck to you on your journey too, may we both find the love, kindness and compassion for ourselves that we need.

 

[TruthSeeker]

How do you build self worth?

How do you find self worth?



The only thing I can think of is finding the worth of my inner child and then figuring out how do do the “she IS me” thing without believing that all those wonderful traits were lost along the way.

Please help.

:hug:

Here’s my ten cents on how I’ve improved that relationship. I went looking for things both my inner children and I like to do. They like art, like to make things, and I pursued those interests that were positive and soothing to my inner child- and they we positive for me too- very distressing.
So the things I tried were cooking from scratch( baking bread, making homemade pizza and pizza sauce, finding the perfect Mac and cheese recipe) baking, hiking, going to the zoo or watching animals,?working on the flower bed weeding and planting, making clay animals, drawing and painting, driving/riding the lawnmower, fishing, and decorating things. Art-different kinda,, playing an instrument, and cooking all were positive ways to communicate. I also go a second cat.

I take art workshops that sound fun to me. At first I was reticent, but the positive feedback and encouragement from people in the very small informal class was fabulous! Gardening was not well received- yuk to weeding, mowing is fun, but anything creatively messy was as well as music and line dancing to a video a go. Friday popsicle night and a movie. Communication is much better now.?