About to give up and talking to crisis line

[SeekingAfrica]

And if only falling asleep was as easy as feeling sleepy.. I keep getting waves of pain and anxiety and urges . Ugh. Gotta keep trying though.

 

[ChildofGod]

I hope that things turn around for you, and that talking to someone helps you. I hope that you feel better very soon.

 

[VioletButterfly]

@SeekingAfrica - Sending hugs and support. I hope you will feel well enough to go to the store for food as food can help with emotion regulation. Also, just a suggestion, but sipping water throughout the day can help to keep you hydrated. Hydration helps with muscle and joint fatigue and pain.

Have you contacted your T? I believe you have one, yes? It sounds like you need some real-time support with this. I hope peace finds you and that your days can even out a bit. VB

 

[Deanna]

Here's hoping you have a better day today South Africa! I think life is hard and anyone with PTSD has to handle each day with care. I don't take each day for granted! Good luck with today!

 

[digger]

How are you doing today @SeekingAfrica?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@SeekingAfrica - Sending hugs and support. I hope you will feel well enough to go to the store for food as food can help with emotion regulation. Also, just a suggestion, but sipping water throughout the day...

Have you contacted your T? I believe you have one, yes? It sounds like you need some real-time support with this. I hope peace finds you and that your days can even out a bit. VB

Thank you! Went only to the closest store so it didn't have all I needed, but got some food which is a start. I tried drinking more water today, felt really dehydrated so you might be right. I do have a T and had arranged meeting with her this week, but I'm living an hour away from her now and I just couldn't get in the bus this week and cancelled last moment:(.

Once I get through the next few critical days, I'm hoping to actually manage to go see her in person. Thank you for the support, much needed, hugs.

How are you doing today @SeekingAfrica?

Hey. It's a tough day to be honest. Better than yesterday though I do get waves of feeling like yesterday--but at least it's not all the time. I manages 2 good steps forward today and literally burst in tears each time I managed something. I'm happy something got right but at the same time I still feel hopeless and each time I manage one thing my brain keeps giving me more to worry about. These few these just wiped me out. I want to recharge, but I keep having nightmares and waking few times a night, plus an hour before my alarm in the morning. I... Everything is a mess, I can't hope or plan for longer than half a day and I'm swinging between suicidal and hyperanxious with waves of productive. I'm all out of balance and I know I need to get help and get a hang on it. I hope I manage. That's all I can see. I have long schedule next week of important things and I can't even imagine how I'll cope. All I can say is, I think I can manage tonight. That's all I know for sure.

 

[Deanna]

If your severely dehydrated and water doesn't seem to be working, order some potassium if you can't get around to go to the store. Amazon has 1 day delivery now if you have prime. If not , Wal-mart fill your order and you go get them. A few others may do this but I don't know of all if them right this very second, I'm not sure where you live but potassium would be at a drugstore ( Walgreens/ CVS) Take about 3- 99 mgs a day. Won't hurt you and go to the doctor.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If your severely dehydrated and water doesn't seem to be working, order some potassium if you can't get around to go to the store. Amazon has 1 day delivery now if you have prime. If not , Wal-mart fill your order and you go get them. A few others may do this but I don't know of all if them right this very second, I'm not sure where you live but potassium would be at a drugstore ( Walgreens/ CVS) Take about 3- 99 mgs a day. Won't hurt you and go to the doctor.

I don't think I'm quite that dehydrated, lots of water is fine for now. Plus I can barely afford food right now, supplements are out of the question. But I'll keep this in mind for the future, thank you.

Having harder time at this moment somehow. Is it just me or are all these emotions and flares harder right before bed? It's like my mind suddenly wants to remind me of all upcoming problems and all the reasons why I thought giving up was a good idea in a first place...

 

[Deanna]

I don't think I'm quite that dehydrated, lots of water is fine for now. Plus I can barely afford food right now, supplements are out of the question. But I'll keep this in mind for the future, thank you.

Having harder time at this moment somehow. Is it just me or are all these emotions and flares harder right before bed? It's like my mind suddenly wants to remind me of all upcoming problems and all the reasons why I thought giving up was a good idea in a first place...

Go to bed early.. It helps. Do u take medications for sleeping? Do u see a psychiatrist? And if u do.. Have him/her prescribe you something for sleep.

Why are u living off little food? Melatonin is another supplement for sleep.

At night, the little things become bigger. Always count on that and that pattern doesn't change.

I tell you why my PTSD is flaring up, because typing on a cell phone to this site is making me crazy! (lol) but I enjoy the company here including you! I'm pressure washing my driveway in intervals and arguing with my boyfriend, and watching my cat sleep. Ugh! Dull life..

 

[VioletButterfly]

Maybe do a little search on what natural sources of potassium and magnesium you can add into your diet? I have to do this as well because I don't eat very well even though I try. So, do a check and see what food sources are higher in potassium and magnesium that you can find. A multi-vitamin when you can afford one might be a good investment.
That, and do the coping/comforting things you are doing will see you through. I find Chai tea as comforting as you see coffee. I can't do caffeine though, but the warm beverage seems to be the key. I also like warm soup when I'm upside down. I want that warmth even though I'm have hot flushes. lol. Ha ha. :)

I'm thinking I need to keep a record of what I do that helps when I'm freaking out. It's so redundant as I've been at this for so long, but it seems minds/memories change; at least for me, so I'm trying to up my awareness and recording of what works so that when I'm next upset that I know what might work for me in such a moment. Sometimes, people need to point it out so good on you for posting!!!! :)

It's a journey, Sweets, so just remember that it's about the long haul. You will go forward one step at a time and sometimes you will go backward. No shame, no judgment. We're all human and this is just the way that it is. At least, this is the way its been for me.

We're here to support you. Take the best care of yourself. Sending light, so much light, for your journey. And, love. And, hugs. VB

 

[ChildofGod]

Bananas have potassium. Peppermint tea has helped me. Magnesium has too.

 

[ButterflyBean]

@SeekingAfrica If you are in the US and have a smart phone/can text, you can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” or “START” to 741741. You will be connected to a trained counselor who will listen, do a risk assessment, and provide referrals if desired. The service is also in Canada and the UK, but I’m not sure of the short codes. I volunteer for this wonderful organization, and in my opinion, the network is vastly different than any others I have heard of and utilized.

Also, if there’s anything you can do for yourself right now, it’s to listen to your body. If you need to sleep, sleep; if you need to cry, cry. Last but not least, I’m going to give you a piece of advice that’s hard for me to take myself. Even though it might feel overwhelming and like you’re trapped, try to remember that you always have options. For one, you can simply choose to keep reaching out for support. You can choose to keep fighting, and you can choose to ask for help. You can choose to rest and you can choose to push forward one moment at a time. Sending peace and support!