I slept with my therapist, now what?

[Muted]

@Mee I feel very lost right now and I’m not sure how to react.

 

[Survivor3]

I can’t imagine going to someone else. She knows me better than anyone.

The situation is compromised.

 

[Survivor3]

The situation is compromised.

find a new therapist. Your therapist is ridiculous on so many levels.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I understand how you want to protect your therapist because you care for her. When I told my next therapist about my first one, he wanted to report him, and I didn't want him to. He told me he could tell by how I was reacting to him wanting to report that the first therapist had done me a disservice. I didn't sleep with him, I don't sleep with anyone, but there were a lot of other things not sexually related. I don't know if he was reported or not. I think he got himself in too deep with a lot of clients and then changed jobs. Now it is years later and I don't think I would talk to him if I saw him.

These feelings come from the therapeutic relationship. It's not unusual and I hope you can come to a decision that makes you well. Your mental health is very important here.

 

[Muted]

Your mental health is very important here.

Thank you for your understanding and all of your kind words.

 

[Rumors]

@Mee Im sure you don't mean for your messages to come across as aggressive, but it kind of reads that way. I think @Muted has absolutely let everyone know she is very confused right now. I am pretty sure she is aware of all the people hurt by this incident. At the end of the day, it is her choice to report the therapist, or not. No need to point out the 37 different ways she is making a mistake. In time, she may decide that is what is best, but for now I hear you that you are trying to figure it all out.

Certainly, I understand she has helped you when you needed to be heard. However, I would tell you that you likely need to find someone else so you can have a fresh take on this situation. Drunk or not, she probably shouldn't have asked you to her home... yikes... hang in there @Muted....

 

[Mee]

@Mee Im sure you don't mean for your messages to come across as aggressive, but it kind of reads that way..

No. And I think it would be more accurate to suggest you are reading it that way.


My first and only extended post today was very supportive, suggesting that others were not considering a power deferential and that was unfair to muted. Other posts bar one answering questions asked directly of me by muted in as concise a way as I could .

For clarity I am not being aggressive.

 

[Muted]

I think @Muted has absolutely let everyone know she is very confused right now. yikes... hang in there @Muted....

Thank you so much, I feel like you described exactly how I feel in better words than I can at this time. Thank you for making me feel heard. This has been different than anything I’ve ever experienced and it is incredibly hard for me to process. I think I feel too beaten down anyway because all of this happening that I don’t have the energy to take offense to anyone, I’m just trying to figure this out. It is really tough to even post about this. Thank you again for all of your kind words.

 

[Friday]

You understand trauma reenactment?

Someone you care deeply for has had sex with you, and now you’re supposed to protect them by not reporting them (because what they did was illegal, immoral, and unethical), and continuing on in your relationship with them as if nothing has happened. And, moreover has blameshifted their responsibility by making it “your” choice to see them?

Sound familiar?

 

[user27357]

@Friday is right on.

If you could go back in time to the night, what would you tell yourself? What would you tell anyone about to enter into a similar interpersonal relationship? I know what I would say. i bet I know what you would say. I bet you know what you would say.

I have to admit to feeling attraction to a female therapist and because she was good I talked to her about it. I told her that if she had a weird feeling about any attraction it was her job to say or do something about it, we talked about it and that was the end of that. If I was single and had never paid her for services, and we somehow met and she was as open and understanding to me as she had been in real life when I was paying her to be, then maybe in about the tenth level of what if? we might have had a great time. But instead, this is reality and we talked about what was going on and how I trusted her to absolutely not in any way let it affect what we were doing and what I was paying her for. It never did, she was great and I still see her when I need a certain type point of view that I know she can make me understand. But the trauma therapy kind of hit a wall when I could no longer make her understand some of the worst of what a sufferer feels and it looked like I was paying to expand her exposure to some of traumas nightmares. She got that too. I said she was good.

 

[Deanna]

@Muted has absolutely let everyone know she is very confused right now. yikes... hang in there @Muted
Thank you so much, I feel like you described exactly how I feel in better words than I can at this time. Thank you for making me feel heard. This has been different than anything I’ve ever experienced and it is incredibly hard for me to process. I think I feel too beaten down anyway because all of this happening that I don’t have the energy to take offense to anyone, I’m just trying to figure this out. It is really tough to even post about this. Thank you again for all of your kind words.

I think you are having a hard time letting go. You were just following her phone call and didn't think sex would happen. Four o'clock in the morning us pretty early. Are you sad and feel like she let you down as far as expectations? ( as a therapist?)

Either way.. I think you'll have to find another therapist in your best interest..i wish someone could have been with you at the time she called. But that's history, now.

 

[Muted]

Sound familiar?

I had to look that up. I realize I’m really struggling to get perspective on this. I don’t understand why this is so hard for me to process.