MaplePancake
Learning
Hi
l don’t know what l want or need. I guess l just need to get this out to someone. It is hard for me to talk to real life people. I just feel weak. Like l am hardly the only one with my experiences, but others handle themselves so much better and competently. I know comparisons don’t help but I still compare. I am trying. I feel like I have let people down and I hate that feeling I have a young daughter who needs my attention so l am not engaging in any behaviors that could negate my ability to parent. I really want to drink. I have never had an issue with substance abuse in the past, and I am not drinking now. I have never wanted to before. This is a new situation for me. I actually don’t think it is that l want to drink as much as l want to dull the shame somehow. If my concentration was better l could watch tv and get lost in that but l seem to have a ten minute concentration limit. So thank you for listening. Also l am thinking about the people of Florida. For those struggling you are in my heart
l don’t know what l want or need. I guess l just need to get this out to someone. It is hard for me to talk to real life people. I just feel weak. Like l am hardly the only one with my experiences, but others handle themselves so much better and competently. I know comparisons don’t help but I still compare. I am trying. I feel like I have let people down and I hate that feeling I have a young daughter who needs my attention so l am not engaging in any behaviors that could negate my ability to parent. I really want to drink. I have never had an issue with substance abuse in the past, and I am not drinking now. I have never wanted to before. This is a new situation for me. I actually don’t think it is that l want to drink as much as l want to dull the shame somehow. If my concentration was better l could watch tv and get lost in that but l seem to have a ten minute concentration limit. So thank you for listening. Also l am thinking about the people of Florida. For those struggling you are in my heart