Hi
We are a same-sex couple and my partner was diagnosed with CPTSD. She has autism, depression and anxiety, and probably undiagnosed OCD too.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD myself so face my own challenges. A lot of times in our relationship when she is triggered I forget to do certain things to help her calm in the moment. It is apparent that I get impatient and choose to do the wrong things.
For example, the other day she had a huge melt down. We had been out drinking and on the way home she got really triggered because we couldn’t get a taxi home. She had a public meltdown and police dropped us home. After a couple of hours of her being on the floor at home crying in full force, I tried to see if I could get her to move to her bed so she’d at least be on a more comfortable surface. I tried to help her up but she couldn’t move.
Moving her didn’t happen and my impatience kicked in and I become frustrated and verbally made it known - saying I was fed up of this. I really regret it and I apologised, I had been drinking and let my frustrations out verbally.
She seems pretty much fed up of me now. I know I was very wrong on that occasion but nothing I ever seem to do is right, not just this occasion.
I make the wrong decisions when’s she’s upset and she feels I don’t listen to her. Personally I feel like I get conflicting messages and then I panic and don’t know what to do.
One moment she tells me she wants me to just grab her and hold her hand and then the next she doesn’t want to be touched.
I feel like I get put down when I choose the wrong thing to do.
Is this normal when supporting a partner with CPTSD? Are there ways I can help manage this to make sure I remember to do the right thing in the right scenario?
We both love each other and want to be together but we are going through a rough patch and I want to do what I can to not make things worse.
Thanks for reading
We are a same-sex couple and my partner was diagnosed with CPTSD. She has autism, depression and anxiety, and probably undiagnosed OCD too.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD myself so face my own challenges. A lot of times in our relationship when she is triggered I forget to do certain things to help her calm in the moment. It is apparent that I get impatient and choose to do the wrong things.
For example, the other day she had a huge melt down. We had been out drinking and on the way home she got really triggered because we couldn’t get a taxi home. She had a public meltdown and police dropped us home. After a couple of hours of her being on the floor at home crying in full force, I tried to see if I could get her to move to her bed so she’d at least be on a more comfortable surface. I tried to help her up but she couldn’t move.
Moving her didn’t happen and my impatience kicked in and I become frustrated and verbally made it known - saying I was fed up of this. I really regret it and I apologised, I had been drinking and let my frustrations out verbally.
She seems pretty much fed up of me now. I know I was very wrong on that occasion but nothing I ever seem to do is right, not just this occasion.
I make the wrong decisions when’s she’s upset and she feels I don’t listen to her. Personally I feel like I get conflicting messages and then I panic and don’t know what to do.
One moment she tells me she wants me to just grab her and hold her hand and then the next she doesn’t want to be touched.
I feel like I get put down when I choose the wrong thing to do.
Is this normal when supporting a partner with CPTSD? Are there ways I can help manage this to make sure I remember to do the right thing in the right scenario?
We both love each other and want to be together but we are going through a rough patch and I want to do what I can to not make things worse.
Thanks for reading