General My Son's Death is Tearing Me Apart

[Kathy]

Thank you both, very sensible advice, especially now that I am feeling a little more resigned to the idea of resting. Truly I was quite angry at my husband initially, for insisting on the housekeeper, and he did definitely insist! It seems to be taking me some time to grasp the concept of thinking of myself first. I am working on it though. I do see both your points, in that I will be quite useless to my family in future if I don't deal with this properly now.

 

[Jim]

Well. Never thought in a million years I'd be in the doghouse for hiring a housekeeper! ;-)

Jim.

 

[anthony]

Kinda does have a sense of humour to it ha?

 

[Nicolette]

Well. Never thought in a million years I'd be in the doghouse for hiring a housekeeper! ;-)

Feel free to give Anthony any such good ideas at any time Jim......we don't have a dog house....well, not for such good ideas :wink:

 

[Jen]

Recently when I wasnt real good Jim hubby wanted us to get a cleaner in.
I changed his mind I just didnt feel right about it. Maybe Kathy feels like that as well?
But if she can get over the initial denial it should do her the world of good!

 

[Damiea]

Ohh Kathy I never meant you should be replaced! I meant maybe having someone to help you here. So that you knew you weren't the only one it might help on the days you might not want to log on and deal with everyone else's issues you would know you didn't have to if you didn't want to. Just a helper sort of not a replacement! As for a housekeeper... there has been times I wanted the help.. and times I couldn't imagine someone else in my house moving my things and doing the only thing thats "my" job. But I would say take the chance and you might find you like the short break to go out and do whatever you felt like instead of thinking about all the house work that had to be done. Like a vacation!

 

[Nicolette]

I have a housekeeper who comes once a week for a couple of hours. She cleans the bathrooms and gives the kitchen a good once over like cupboard doors, stove etc. It's a big help and I wouldn't do it again unless I had to. Doing everything myself used to tire me out and this little bit of help makes a huge difference to my world.

 

[batgirl]

Mum I kind of see where you are coming from with this, when I couldn't draw anymore it was really awful for me and I felt totally useless. I know looking after the house for all of us is just as important to you as drawing is to me. I felt like less of a person when I couldn't do it anymore, like the one thing I was good at and could take pride in had been stolen from me. Even with you and Dad telling me you loved me and I should just rest because I was ill, I still felt useless and it was hard. But I did discover through not drawing that there are other good qualities to me and I don't have to base all of my self worth just on drawing. And I can draw again now, I got through it! You will too.

 

[Nicolette]

Good point Evie :)

 

[anthony]

Well said Evie, very well said and great support.

 

[Kathy]

Thank you all for the support, Evie especially, that is indeed a good point! With the help of my family and the support I am receiving here, I am starting to accept the idea of the housekeeper. Anthony you were quite correct in that I felt it made me less of a wife and mother, if I could not take care of my family. It has been a difficult adjustment however I am now looking forward to the rest and extra time to myself. Evie and I have been discussing doing more "girl" things together as we live in what is essentially a very male household. :wink: In any event, thank you all for your patience and understanding, I am feeling a bit better about it.

 

[Jim]

Kinda does have a sense of humour to it ha?

Well Anthony if I didn't laugh I'd cry. Rather laugh to be honest.

Kathleen is gone for 2 days. Getting a well-deserved break with her sister in the city. Kids have to put up with Dad's cooking now. ;-)

Jim.