Wanted To Share - My First EMDR Session

[linasmom]

Hey all,

Just thought I'd share my first EMDR session with you guys. I saw my T on Tuesday and he informed me that he thinks it's finally time to begin the EMDR. I was really nervous and fidgety because even though I've read about EMDR, I wasn't sure in which direction my T was going to go with it.

Before we started, he handed me a sheet with 20 words and their corresponding definitions. The sheet was entitled "Nurturing Adult and Protective Adult Self Skills". Following is a list of all of the words:

empathic
compassionate
understanding
accepting
patient
nurturing
warm
open
able to attune
good at listening
good with boundaries
reliable
trustworthy
confident
respectful
appropriately responsible
problem-solver
action-taker
decision-maker
logical
strong
courageous
protective
grounded/centered

He instructed me to look over the words and their definitions. Then he handed me two "buzzers", one for my right leg and one for my left leg. He had me place the "buzzers", one beneath my right thigh and one beneath my left thigh. He turned on the controller and the "buzzers" alternated vibrations from my right to my left and then back again. He then instructed me to close my eyes while he read the word and its definition and to remember a time when I exhibited or acted out one of those words all the while the vibrations are alternating between my right and left legs.

When we reached the bottom of the list, he read all of the words from the bottom of the page upward and then told me to take all of those words and form a single self with them, to basically bring them all together to form a single model. He then asked me if while doing this I pictured anything in my mind. I told him yes, that the only image I saw was a steel cylindrical object.

He then read the words from the top of the page downward. Then he turned the buzzers off.

It was very interesting. I definitely was having some anxiety as I was going through this process simply because I hate having to remember things in the past, even if it was just a few weeks ago. I told him this. Of course, it's just my normal reaction of dissociating.

Also something interesting, he asked me if my mother had any complications when she was pregnant with me and as far as I know, there were none.

Anyway, that was pretty much it for the first session. I know that different Therapists use different techniques for their EMDR sessions and I think I like his technique of using buzzers to stimulate the right and left sides of the brain. He did start off slow since we really didn't delve into any traumas, but now I'm nervous for my next session because I have a feeling that is when we are going to start talking about some of the traumas. ugghhh.

Best,
Rachel

 

[Awakening]

Sounds so strange. Did it feel strange?

 

[linasmom]

Hi Awakening,

Not really - there was only once, when he first turned on the buzzer, he forgot to tell me that he was turning it on and I just about jumped through the ceiling. Besides that, it was uneventful except for the anxiety that I felt when having to remember past experiences even if they weren't traumatic.

 

[spiritofnow]

I think you did really well to be ready for this! Way to go!

I am interested to learn what you feel you have learned as you go along :-)

Spirit x

 

[2quilt]

Your experience with EMDR was completely different from mine.
I had no buzzers, no list.

 

[linasmom]

Hi 2Quilt,

What did your T use to activate the left and right hemispheres? I know different therapists use different techniques, I'm interested in finding out what others have experienced.

Best,
Rachel

 

[2quilt]

He has a wand with a battery-powered light on the end of it, and he waves it in front of me as my eyes follow it, through the tears.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Whoa, this all seems strange.

I'm glad you shared your experience Rachel, and I hope you will continue as you progress. I would like to try EMDR but can't afford it.

What has it done for you 2quilt? Did you remember repressed memories? Has this help you over come any fears?

Take care
Tammy

 

[2quilt]

answer to Tammy

Yes, it has gotten me to the point where I can talk about the trauma that I did during EMDR, without crying, but telling the story as facts. Unemotional or less emotional. Before, I would have flashbacks about the trauma, or cry when i talked about it.

I have injured myself today and I have to get on a plane in a few hours, so I will write more on Tuesday.

 

[Acer]

thanks for posting this, I was coming on to ask about EMDR and people's experience with it. I have a new therapist who thinks I definitely have PTSD (my last one thought it was just some maladaptive personality/behavioral traits that I learned as a kid). She uses EMDR a lot with great success. I am supposed to start in the next few weeks once my home life settles down (my husband is threatening divorce right now).

Have you had anymore sessions? If so, how did they go?

My t will be using a light wand, plugged into the wall. She said not everyone likes the buzzers, or the sounds in the ears so the light works well for her and her patients. We shall see.

 

[anthony]

Really great positive news Rachel that you are having treatment and open to new things.... well done. It is going to get hard, don't fool yourself... and you will get ill as a result from the treatment, but your meant too. It means its working for you.

 

[cherryblossom]

you will get ill as a result from the treatment

I have to agree with this. In my experience, so far I have gone through 3 EMDR sessions, and I'm not currently doing very well. My anxiety, depression and various other PTSD symptoms are worse as a result. I am not being negative, but this is how it has effected me so far. I'm just telling it like it is (for me). I was a bit wary of posting this before because I didn't want to put people off!

I honestly feel like I'm the worst I have ever been, and I'm really struggling to survive the 'in my face' depression and suicidal feelings.... Yes, this is scaring the hell out of me, and I'm finding it hard to regain control of my emotions. I feel like I'm literally fighting minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

However, my therapist is very confident that this will help me in the long run. It is this hope that I'm grabbing on to. It might be a long shot, but I'm not sure I've got much to lose any more. She DID warn me that things would get worse before they got better. I just didn't expect 'worse' to be quite this bad. But, if that means it's working, then I have to believe in that, try to complete the full course of 8 EMDR sessions - and hope for a good result.