Starting To Increase Time Between Sessions

[FindingMyself88]

Well I saw my T today and she said she thinks it is time for me to stretch my "coping" muscles a little and go 2 weeks between sessions. 3 months ago I would NOT have been okay with this at all, but surprisingly I am pretty calm. I AM doing better. I've had no flashbacks or nightmares in two weeks, which is huge! My T has told me from the beginning that her job is to essentially work herself out of a job with me. I am a bit nervous, but she said if for some reason I needed to see her I could call and get an appointment or just call to talk.

She did say she was having surgery soon (forgot to ask when) and that she would be out for 3 weeks, so she is hoping that this will help with getting me prepared. She said its nothing big, just some kind of orthopedic surgery.

I am kind of nervous about this, but a part of me wants to feel happy- I am getting better. She said by no means does this mean we are through with therapy and to think about this as more therapeutic for me. I voice my concerns that with going 2 weeks between that our sessions would be all about anything that happened in those weeks. She said that she would make sure that didn't happen- that we would talk about anything important, but still make time for therapy and making progress. If it got to the point that too much was happening, we would bump it back down to weekly.

Essentially today's session was mostly about the progress I've made this week and about preparing and being comfortable for extending the time. We did also talk about my future goals with school and eventually becoming independent again. I do need to find out when she will be having surgery. I hope its not around the first part of March. March 12th will mark one year from when I attempted suicide and I will want/need to see her that week.

I don't want to overthink this lol. This IS a good thing.

 

[Justmehere]

Congrats on "graduating" to being ready to trying out this gradual spacing out of sessions! Is is a good thing, and it's tough to do. :hug:

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you @Justmehere :hug:. It is tough just thinking about it, but I'm trying not to think about the fact that I have 2 weeks lol. She asked me to journal (whether through art or written) a little each day. Being back in school helps and I've been going to the gym a lot. Trying to be a bit more social too.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You CAN DO THIS. I believe in you. Congratulations to your healing and recovery process to go to this new step.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you @gizmo :hug:.

 

[falling_wave]

Congrats on making progress! This is your hard work in therapy paying off. My T recently spaced out our sessions so I can relate to your excitement and anxiety. It does kind of feel good to know that your progress is being recognized - you are moving toward your hopes and dreams! It is a close relationship and a security system so it can be scary to lose. I think journaling will help too. It gets the stuff from your mind to a paper so it's not just you and it also keeps track of things so you won't need to feel scared of forgetting to share something important with your T. I think focusing on healthy relationships and connections and your coping skills are a great way to make this work. Try to let your T know about the date that will be important for you so she can plan to be available by phone or in person on that day or arrange for someone to be. She might be able to prepare you a little bit emotionally ahead of time so it is not as big of a trigger. If it makes you feel any safer I had something come up after we spaced things out and I didn't even have to ask to go back to every week for a while. She just said that it seems I am having a hard time so let's do a week. She hasn't rushed me back to every other either so I feel safer when we do space it out again because I won't be worried about losing her. try to voice any fears with your T so she can be sensitive to what will work for you as well. Congrats and good luck. If you need any support through the transition we are here. :)

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you @falling_wave :) It really helps me to hear from some of you who have/are kind of going through this. She has been kind of pushing me to try journaling more. I am such a perfectionist and it has been REALLY hard for me to allow myself to feel emotions because when I was a kid it was a thing of survival. I've been doing art type journaling like collages, painting, and such which is helpful for me, but she wants me to try writing some, to go deeper on some of these tougher emotions. So thats my homework for these 2 weeks.

I did kind of bring the date up, but not for long. Will definitely mention it next session. If we follow the pattern we are on, I will see her March 3rd and 17th, so not the week of the 12th. I may ask her to see her on that Thursday so its on the actual day. Yeah, I do feel like my T would immediately go back to weekly if I needed. She said that we now know what to do with the flashbacks and I have lots of coping skills. If flashbacks come up, she said we would start EMDR again. Which I am personally hoping for no more flashbacks. She is pretty intuitive and can read me pretty easily- so I trust her in that regard.

I have battled some thoughts of "She doesn't like me" "she's trying to get rid of me" etc, but I've been able to quickly shut them down. I know those thought patterns come from my mom who is borderline and I REFUSE to give in to those thoughts.

Thank you, I am VERY thankful for this community :inlove:

 

[falling_wave]

@FindingMyself88 I use Moodtrack Diary. I chose the private option but it's convenient because it is an app on smart phones. I journal and then rate my mood every day before I go to sleep. It makes a graph of my your emotions go up and down and is dated with whatever you put in the journal. It helps me to show my T when it has been longer the pattern and look at the journal entries that were the hard days. It sounds like the creative stuff will be great for you and you are already showing strength in recognizing the root of your insecure thoughts and redirecting. It's so tough to do that. I have found telling myself that it's okay to feel but not to accept helps and also being vulnerable in therapy. If I get scared about being a burden or her wanting to get rid of me I will try to show that I have insight by sharing that I know where this is coming from and I know it's not true but my thoughts keep going here etc. It makes me feel very exposed but I think it carries me through two weeks better when I know I didn't hold anything back in therapy. I don't know why but I think that makes a big difference.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@falling_wave I am looking into the mood track diary, thanks for showing me that. It says the private one costs so I may have to wait on it. That is a good idea though. Yeah, thats what I tried telling myself today. My BIGGEST fear is becoming like my mom. I tried telling myself that by recognizing it, I was not like my mom. My mom is in complete denial of her issues. That does make sense- you're getting the most out of your therapy and thats basically what I was trying to convey to my T today. I don't want our bi-monthly sessions to be just about mundane stuff. I want to get down into what truly matters-even the tough stuff. Being vulnerable is difficult, but I am working on it. I'm reading "Daring Greatly" by Brene' Brown now.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Nevermind, I had enough credit left on iTunes gift card to buy it :). Thanks for the tip!

 

[Recovery4Me]

You are really accomplishing so many positive strides with your therapy, learning & positive attitude! So happy for you & proud of you too. :hug:

"Daring Greatly" by Brene' Brown now.

:tup: Just FYI-
Brene has some free videos on Ted Talks as well that includes 'Daring Greatly' concepts and shame. The video below is on vulnerability.

Keep up the beautiful journey!

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you @Recovery4Me :hug:

I have watched several of her TED talks and such! My T loves Brene and we often talk about her a lot in therapy.