M
Melissadreamin
I've been recently diagnosed with PTSD for the second time. The first time was in 2006. It was the result of being woke in the middle of the night to somebody trying to get into my back door screaming for help. She was attacked and had her throat cut. She survived but I had a hard time getting to sleep after that. I went through some therapy and thought I'd dealt with all of it. I was able to sleep again, although I will say that my home never truly felt like my haven after that.
More recently, this summer two criminals broke through my front door at 3 am. They had a gun and ordered me, my 93 year old father and my 18 year old sun to lay down or we'd be killed. I guess they were intent on robbery. Why us, I have no idea. We have nothing. My 18 year old son is on the austism spectrum and he froze and didn't do as they said. They hit him about the head with the gun and knocked him out. He suffered a hairline fracture and a slight concussion. I truly thought we were going to die that night but I got an opportunity to get to a phone and I dialed 911. They caught me and instead of killing us, they ran away. That's most of the story.
Since that time, I did go to therapy. Neither my son nor I could stand to be in that home again, so we moved. We also got a dog that we love very much. My therapist said that I've made all the positive changes and am doing the right things and that it will just take time at this point.
For the most part, I'm doing sort of okay now. I get up, go to work, go home, do what I have to do and sleep at night. I don't sleep terribly well and I'm not sure I ever will again. Here's the things I'm going through at this time. I rarely sleep before midnight. I wake up every night at 3 a.m. without fail. I do usually go back to sleep but I always wake up at three. I go alone mostly okay but I can't watch cop shows on tv or anything else that involves crime. I can be feeling good but then the news... the Paris attacks, talk of violence in california... reports about people buying large batches of cell phones. All of these things kind of set me off and make me feel jittery for days at a time. I feel sort of vulnerable and exposed a lot of the time. I'm not fond of being in large groups in public and sometimes work feels like a place I don't want to be. I'd almost say that I'd rather be home all the time except at night. At night I feel sort of trapped inside my home and vulnerable there. Does any of this sound normal to any of you in my situation? Does it ever get better? I just feel sometimes like I'll never feel comfortable in my own skin again. Thanks for listening.
Melissa
More recently, this summer two criminals broke through my front door at 3 am. They had a gun and ordered me, my 93 year old father and my 18 year old sun to lay down or we'd be killed. I guess they were intent on robbery. Why us, I have no idea. We have nothing. My 18 year old son is on the austism spectrum and he froze and didn't do as they said. They hit him about the head with the gun and knocked him out. He suffered a hairline fracture and a slight concussion. I truly thought we were going to die that night but I got an opportunity to get to a phone and I dialed 911. They caught me and instead of killing us, they ran away. That's most of the story.
Since that time, I did go to therapy. Neither my son nor I could stand to be in that home again, so we moved. We also got a dog that we love very much. My therapist said that I've made all the positive changes and am doing the right things and that it will just take time at this point.
For the most part, I'm doing sort of okay now. I get up, go to work, go home, do what I have to do and sleep at night. I don't sleep terribly well and I'm not sure I ever will again. Here's the things I'm going through at this time. I rarely sleep before midnight. I wake up every night at 3 a.m. without fail. I do usually go back to sleep but I always wake up at three. I go alone mostly okay but I can't watch cop shows on tv or anything else that involves crime. I can be feeling good but then the news... the Paris attacks, talk of violence in california... reports about people buying large batches of cell phones. All of these things kind of set me off and make me feel jittery for days at a time. I feel sort of vulnerable and exposed a lot of the time. I'm not fond of being in large groups in public and sometimes work feels like a place I don't want to be. I'd almost say that I'd rather be home all the time except at night. At night I feel sort of trapped inside my home and vulnerable there. Does any of this sound normal to any of you in my situation? Does it ever get better? I just feel sometimes like I'll never feel comfortable in my own skin again. Thanks for listening.
Melissa
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