A Man Threatened Me Last Night

[Seasounds]

Still settling down after a man threatened me last night, after I asked him to turn down his computer volume. After his hostilities response, I asked a clerk to help. Then the angry man was harassing the clerk; to stay in the shop, the man had to settle down. He did. When the man left, he approached me from behind and threatened me. Due to the man's volition nature I did not respond nor give him eye contact.

I was still in shock until this afternoon, when the feelings came; fear, anger, etc. I called the police, and the officer said the threat warranted a report. The cop was terrific, as therapeutic and supportive as a person could be.

I couldn't focus today very well, due to the anxiety. I hate this. I am also needing to be non-judge mental of myself; I decided to not be more assertive because I had a deadline to mak and needed to stay in the store for the wifi. If I had not had that deadline, and he hadn't shown such aggressive behavior, I wouldn't screamed when he threatened me. I am well trained in self-defense-to draw attention; every situation is different.

So I guess forgiveness and support are what I am asking for. Any helps is welcome. Thank you in advance. :hug:

 

[Neverthesame]

Happy to give some support :hug:
Glad you are ok.

Though the forgiveness thing....

What do you need to be forgiven for?

I am also needing to be non-judge mental of myself

True, you did nothing wrong.

I decided to not be more assertive because I had a deadline to mak and needed to stay in the store for the wifi.

Isn't assertiveness dealing with a difficult situation with another person in a way that avoids a negative outcome, while still having a positive result for yourself?

I am well trained in self-defense-to draw attention; every situation is different.

Good. Everyone should be I think.
And you're right, every situation is different.

Had you not needed something from the buisness you were in, do you think you would have done the exact same?

You looked beyond the immediate fear, recognised you had a choice about how to respond, given your priorities for the moment. Made the choice and reaped the rewards.

If there was no work deadline, is it fair to assume that you would have taken a more interactive approach to dealing with this man?

Or if being passive to his threats, only encouraged him to step it up, would you have adapted and changed tactics to protect yourself?

If so, then I think you've done very well. :)

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

I don't think you did anything wrong, so I don't think you need to seek forgiveness.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree and think that you managed the situation very well. I am sorry about the aftermath experience you are having. It will pass and you will be okay. I am surprised that the store did not throw the man out.

 

[Seasounds]

@Neverthesame, @EveHarrington, @gizmo,

Thank you for the strong support you gave me. As I read your responses a couple tears dropped out of the corner of my eyes. The depth of your own work with PTSD comes through so marvelously; just offer forms of love, when someone has just been through a traumatic event.

Due to my early anxiety from the event, I finally was able to come back to this post, today, Day 11 (after the event).

Maybe it is common, but the first 48 hours afterwards I was hard on myself; thinking "if I just would've done this or that', I wouldn't have needed up with such a big trigger of my PTSD. (The irony that blaming myself/ victim blaming would've helped my current condition.

In my processing, I've organically landed where all of you placed your kind perspectives. The business clerks didn't help create boundaries, the man was extraordinarally hostile and threatening to myself and the clerks in response to a resonable request, given with good intention.

Your words pointed me in the right direction, of how to think of myself and your words lend support to my spirit which is still healing from the event. Thank you very, very much! :hug::hug::hug: