Sideways
Moderator
Hey, I hope I'm not out of line here. I've flicked back through your diary to find out a bit more about the brain tumour, but I can't seem to find a reference to it. Is it a new thing?
Because, it's a pretty big thing. It's the kind of thing that must be traumatic for him, and traumatic for you as someone who cares about him.
It's totally okay to only talk about the things you want to talk about. This is an anonymous forum, and you get to withhold information about yourself and your situation - we all do - and that's entirely your call.
I hope that, as part of his treatment, he's still getting psychological support.
And for you? I absolutely agree that getting support for yourself again, IRL stuff, is an absolute must. Not just because of the stress associated with the brain tumour, but because what he said to you? Was retraumatising.
Was it the brain tumour talking? I can't possibly know. I do know that when people have a brain injury, their personality can change big time, and even though you know it's the injury talking when they say something hurtful, it still hurts.
I honestly think people were trying to be helpful in the type of support they offered - I certainly was. Suggesting you walk out (and I don't know now what you should do - the situation isn't one I know enough about), it was my attempt at trying to validate how hurt you must have felt by what he said.
I'm truly sorry it's not the kind of support you were after.
Having read back a couple of pages of your diary? I can see that things are pretty complicated for you guys. You left him a year ago, then he started getting help for his ptsd and substance abuse issues, and you not only got back together, but seemed to be in a really good place as recently as September.
This is a very sudden about-face from where things were for you guys a month ago. So, I hope you find a way through that works for you, that's safe (for both of you), and involves plenty of real life support, for both of you.
Be gentle with yourself:hug:(if that's okay)
Because, it's a pretty big thing. It's the kind of thing that must be traumatic for him, and traumatic for you as someone who cares about him.
It's totally okay to only talk about the things you want to talk about. This is an anonymous forum, and you get to withhold information about yourself and your situation - we all do - and that's entirely your call.
I hope that, as part of his treatment, he's still getting psychological support.
And for you? I absolutely agree that getting support for yourself again, IRL stuff, is an absolute must. Not just because of the stress associated with the brain tumour, but because what he said to you? Was retraumatising.
Was it the brain tumour talking? I can't possibly know. I do know that when people have a brain injury, their personality can change big time, and even though you know it's the injury talking when they say something hurtful, it still hurts.
I honestly think people were trying to be helpful in the type of support they offered - I certainly was. Suggesting you walk out (and I don't know now what you should do - the situation isn't one I know enough about), it was my attempt at trying to validate how hurt you must have felt by what he said.
I'm truly sorry it's not the kind of support you were after.
Having read back a couple of pages of your diary? I can see that things are pretty complicated for you guys. You left him a year ago, then he started getting help for his ptsd and substance abuse issues, and you not only got back together, but seemed to be in a really good place as recently as September.
This is a very sudden about-face from where things were for you guys a month ago. So, I hope you find a way through that works for you, that's safe (for both of you), and involves plenty of real life support, for both of you.
Be gentle with yourself:hug:(if that's okay)