Addictive tendencies in online sexual play

[chihayafuru]

@OliveJewel what if they didn't use force or threats and only went on at me to do what they wanted so i changed my no to yes

 

[Friday]

@Friday
what if they were doing something you went on at them until they did it and they felt faint

I get you’re attempting to take a specific issue, extend it out into general concepts, and then pull it back into a specific issue.

But life rarely works that way.

You didn’t feel cared for in this instance. (Extended outward)
He can’t care for anyone …because…
Anyone who could care, would care. (Reversed back).

Which is what I spoke to.

Nope. I can very easily not care about someone feeling faint, or having blisters, or whatever their personal struggles are, whilst at the same time caring both for that person, themselves, and for others. Caring deeply enough to put my life on the line for them, level of care.

The reverse logic doesn’t work.

Nor will how I have sex with people, or communicate wih people, or connect with people, or demonstrate XYZ with people… clear anything up on how HE feels or doesn’t feel.

Whether or not the bloke cares about you? Or cared about you whilst you were together? Or, or, or? I don’t know. He might not. He might.

It all seems rather beside the point, how he feels or doesn’t feel, as the 2 of you don’t work well together, so you’re done. (In theory.) At the very least? You ended things. He says he respects that. You’ve gotten back in touch to tell him why you ended things, he says he respects that. It seems like you keep circling back attempting to provoke a reaction from him, and failing that are attempting to cast a wide net to meet some sort of need or expectation? IDK.

 

[chihayafuru]

It seems like you keep circling back attempting to provoke a reaction from him,

I want him to get why he was wrong for going on at me to do something I'd said no to and get that I could have fallen in the shower feeling faint and really hurt myself. If you can't respect consent I don't see how you can really care about someone in general but I've also been questioning that last part of what I just said.

 

[whiteraven]

I want him to get why he was wrong for going on at me to do something I'd said no to

Why is it so important that he get it? He won't. And if he finally says he does, it will likely be because he's tired of you asking.

If you can't respect consent I don't see how you can really care about someone in general

Read that over and over again.

 

[chihayafuru]

The situation with the online guy isn't bothering me much now. I've been focusing more on trying to process a past incident. I'm surprised the online thing isn't really a problem right now and I'm wondering if part of that is cause it was kind of my fault.

 

[chihayafuru]

I felt last night that the online dom who I was with for at least 6 months and once went on at me to do something I didn't want to until I said yes and did it and went on at me to try it again after I felt faint cause he didn't realise it was serious, just made a mistake and I was too harsh by dumping him. He supports me so I told him and then asked if he still wants me and he said he'll still look after me so I'm back with him.
Now I'm feeling like there's such a thin line between sexual abuse and a mistake.