Alternative to conventional talking therapies?

[Marvel545]

@Swift I will definitely give both of them a try! Sound like they would suit me!

@EveHarrington Ive done talking therapy with 5 therapists in the past 6 years. I couldn’t tell you a specific technique they’ve used. I’ve generally spoken about my problems & they’ve given me advice, that’s about it really!

 

[Hopefully]

I have found doing some body work is really complimentary to talking therapy. At the moment I am doing a combination of yoga and TRE (trauma release exercises). For me finding a way to soothe my nervous system and to improve the connection with my body make me feel calmer and this in turn makes for better talk therapy sessions.

I have found it really difficult, the stillness of yoga can be really challenging but with practice it is getting easier.

For me it seems like an ongoing combination of different practices seems to be bringing the best results. It was frustrating to start with as I wanted the one big quick fix!

It is all stuff you can do at home, have a look.

 

[shimmerz]

I studied a bunch about neuroplasticity. It helped me to understand that the brain can be changed and how to do so and that those changes can be 'set' if one knows what they are doing.
Feldenkrais for body. Not well known but also ties into neuroplasticity. It is literally about training the brain to realize that there is actually a body attached.

 

[EveHarrington]

I hesitate to tell you to give up therapy when it sounds like you’ve just done generic therapy and haven’t done anything that’s trauma specific. I think this is a big part of the problem. It’s like going to your GP when you have neurological issues.....and you really need the expertise of a neurologist.

 

[Marvel545]

I hesitate to tell you to give up therapy when it sounds like you’ve just done generic therapy...

I completely agree. I know I need therapy, but I want to know what I’m getting into.

I’m gonna look into trauma specific therapies near me. I’m thinking EMDR or DBT.

Outside of that I’m going to look at neurofeedback, feldenkreis, yoga & see if there’s any support groups in my area.

I minimise my trauma & spend most of my time trying to convince myself & others it actually was trauma. I end up selling myself to a T rather than the other way round.

 

[hithere]

*Cognitive Processing Therapy, though it's talk therapy, is so rigid in it's format that it actually really, really works and the issue of "trust of therapist" is not as intense. It's much easier to trust right away--. It's 12 sessions with very specific homework for each; and if you make sure you schedule sessions either twice a week or weekly (no interruptions) you will get some clarity. You have to buckle down and be very brave. It takes the need to "trust" your therapist away since it's a protocol-a formula. It's all spelled out what you will do. The first few sessions are really helpful if your therapist is someone who really went through formal training. It's what the Dept. of VA uses for combat PTSD. this wasn't the final "cure" for me but it got a lot done regarding some trauamas.

*EMDR was helpful until it brought up the "Mother Lode" issues. Internal Family Systems was very helpful and works quickly and if you don't trust your therapist this model works great (again with someone who really is trained well in it) It is still very painful, but it's so helpful.

*IFS also really, really works when you don't trust your therapist. It does not rely on attachment and it softens the dependendancy on the therapist, so those issues get healing quickly too.

*Free 12-step programs like "incest survivors anonymous" and "sex and love addicts anonymous" were very helpful for me.

*Therapeutic Horseback riding is wonderful. I think it's probably the most "whole" approach to healing mind body and soul and is worth driving a bit to get to a stables that offers therapeuatic horseback riding.

*Interpretative dance: I did that for a specific trauma that literally "ruled" my life concerning an abandonment--I did this dancing all on my own and, wow, that really worked amazingly well! That one abandonment issue is GONE. woohoo.

*"painting" and "drawing" in a few therapy sessions was the most haunting experience, but hit on some of the traumas.

*Group "art therapy" (not trauma art therapy) I did a 4 session class held at a community center. That therapy really helped me to start liking myself, as self-loathing was so deeply entrenched in me. (still a battle) So specifically the "group" aspect of this art practice and the assignments we did together helped me to start to see "me" and that maybe I'm not as disgusting and revolting as I think I am.

*Deep Tissue massage "unlocked" some traumas from childhood beatings and some of the rapes.

 

[Marvel545]

Massively appreciate the responses guys. Ive concluded that the people in my life aren't helpful when it comes to T. I'm going to go back to the T who diagnosed me with PTSD & see how it goes.

What I need to change is what I do outside of the therapy room. So I'm going to go to my 12 step meetings, do yoga, art therapy, feldenkrais, meditation & anything else that's healthy & helpful.

 

[Abstract]

Sounds excellent. :tup:
The other thing that can be helpful if you haven't had much luck before is to look at the different therapy approaches, look at yourself and what you think you need. Find someone who uses the therapy approach and has the type of personality that fits for you.

Do you think you are ready to do trauma processing or do you first need to improve your self care and interpersonal skills. Maybe also skills dealing with dissociation etc. Maybe have a list of questions for the t and take it from there.

Approach is different to specialisation. They absolutely do need to specialise in trauma in my opinion (others here have made it work without that). You can ask how many patients with PTSD they have treated, what percentage of their work is in trauma. Thereafter therapy can feel very different depending on their therapeutic approach. Person Centred, Psychodynamic, CBT etc etc etc. Some use multiple approaches and adjust to suit.

PS. totally get how long it can take for the PTSD stuff to come out if you are actively unconsciously hiding it in therapy. Been there done that.

 

[hithere]

Avoidance of facing and experiencing the feelings/memories is a symptom of PTSD and also is the source of PTSD.

 

[Stephernovas]

I've been to 5 different therapists in the past 6 years & I really struggle to trust them or get anyt...

Changing therapists when you feel that resistance is delaying your progress. Working through issues with your therapist regardless of how awful and ugly it may feel is most optimal. My therapist is very clear with me that I have extreme trust issues, but it’s our consistency that is helping g to mend it. It won’t happen immediately, and may take a lifetime, but that’s what helps. Sometimes we sit there in silence after she asks a question because I refuse to trust her that much. She’s aware, and it’s her job to work with me on that. Realistically you’re better off sticking with one person and working on trusting them at your pace than telling a bunch of different people bits about yourself. I don’t know about you, but to me that’s worse than limiting it to one person.

 

[grit]

Hi Marvel545,

Finding a good therapy is up there with the same weight of finding a good spouse. IMHO, the process is very similar of course the feelings and the relationship itself is different but the trust level and attachment needed are very close.
Now saying that, I have to say this much. First it is good you are becoming aware of your trust issue but what about your likability of a therapist. Do you like them as people as persons? I ask this (and you do not need to answer to me per se), just throwing it out there.

Sometimes our issues are soo ingrained and so deep, it may take a long time to actually open up. It is very easy to be functional at work, in a good relationship, but if you have deep self issues that you eat yourself up alone or in your head, then you can sit and talk about non-sense for a long time, until the mask falls. I think it is good to find a therapist you like, respect and you can even just tell them, I do not trust you but you are OK and I will come every week or biweekly or monthly whatever works for you but come nevertheless. Eventually, you start to think about this person, sort of them showing up in your head, like having a crush, and you hear their voice about topics and you start to just trust them naturally but the first thing you need without trust, you like them.

The education, the technique, all the other shiny things are nothing in human relationships. A therapist you like and you are not annoyed objectively speaking...I mean you can clearly see them as separate then you and as another human first, is priceless. Many times people meet others who can change you in a fundamental way in such a short time in passing and meeting a therapist can be looked at, do I like this person? Not do I trust them with my life? The latter is almost 100% hard to decide without knowing the person.

and that takes time, maturity to believe others can help, and extreme commitment and motivation to find healing.

If you are not feeling all therapists, it is just maybe you are not ready for a relationship yet. You are consumed by the one you have in your life, that you are psychic energy-wise, full for now. And that is OK too. Just take time off, think about it, and then try.

If for sure talk therapy is not your cup of tea and you are confident in a healthy way this is not it. Then maybe you can do bodywork, like a person who does the somatic work but still they will want to talk to you to find what is going on and these types of therapy also has it is own way of communicating by touch or body movement that you may find even harder than just sitting and talking. I would say try it. who knows?

I also was difficult in finding therapy but I realized at the end, I really needed one bad and I had to get over certain barriers mentally first.

Good luck. Not easy journey but you will find the one.

 

[Marvel545]

Thankyou for all your responses, I really do appreciate it deeply.

Approach is different to specialisation. They absolutely do need to specialise in trauma in my opinion (others here have made it work without that). You can ask how many patients with PTSD they have treated, what percentage of their work is in trauma. Thereafter therapy can feel very different depending on their therapeutic approach. Person Centred, Psychodynamic, CBT etc etc etc. Some use multiple approaches and adjust to suit.

Of the 5 therapists I've been to, the one I'm going to call this morning has experienced trauma himself & I think is writing a book about treating trauma or setting up a charity. I can't actually remember which one.

I think he listened to me bleat on about day to day issues for 5-6 months & managed to see through the facade. When he broke through that, I freaked out & left.

Do you think you are ready to do trauma processing or do you first need to improve your self care and interpersonal skills. Maybe also skills dealing with dissociation etc. Maybe have a list of questions for the t and take it from there.

I think I struggled with T because of poor self care skills. I have really worked on them in the past 6 months & think I'm ready for it now.

Changing therapists when you feel that resistance is delaying your progress.

I agree I did this & it has halted my progress. I can see now that was a mistake.

First it is good you are becoming aware of your trust issue but what about your likability of a therapist. Do you like them as people as persons? I ask this (and you do not need to answer to me per se), just throwing it out there.

I did like T number 4. I got on with him & most of the beneficial stuff has come from him. I think I need to complement therapy with body work like yoga & TRE.