Actually it does. For the longest time I thought I didn't have any needs and the needs of my family were the most important things in the world. If anyone needed anything, I was immediately in a panic to make it happen as quickly as possible. If there was some conflict... say where two of my kids needed something at exactly the same time, I would go nuts, just kind of walking back and forth hyperventilating and panicking. It was crazy.
So... in order to get better about this, I had to start at the very bottom. I actually have needs and I deserve to have them met. (Okay, maybe I can only think that intellectually right now, but I'm trying to learn to believe it.) On the flip side, sometimes I can't do EVERYTHING for my family. Sometimes they'll just have to be a little disappointed or make do with some alternative. It's not the end of the world. And really... this sort of thing I think stems from the incorrect belief I picked up during my abusive childhood... if I didn't try to do everything right, my father would beat me and no one would love me. So I grew up into a person who's always, always, always trying to help. Y'know what, you can't help everyone all the time. It doesn't work. When I try, that's when my body goes nuts SCREAMING at me, "You can't keep doing this!" (a.k.a. a panic attack)
I don't know if this is anything like your situation. I don't know if this helps. I just thought I would add it here on the slight change it's useful. As for feeling better... in my case, I HAVE to go do something to meet my own needs. Honestly, this usually means I haven't been doing anything for myself, I'm overworked, tired, haven't taken a break at all. So I usually go to my room, close the door, drink some water, read a book or watch TV. Just something mindless and unimportant and just for me. Sometimes a bubble bath works. For you it will probably be something different. I just think it helps to physically walk away, knowing that you can't possibly fix everything for everyone all the time. And it gives my body the direct message that I'm listening.
Sorry if this isn't exactly what you meant!
D123
P.S. @
Chincho, I hear you about feeling guilty! I always feel guilty, too, even just for sitting down to drink water. It's ridiculous though, right? It should be okay for us to ask for and expect reasonable things. People ask us for things ALL THE TIME, am I right?
