Relationship Burnt Out By Him But Still Worried About Him. Should I Be?

[PeekieBlue]

Hi

I could really do with some advice. The roller coaster continues. We were having a break whilst my man continues his emdr. The verbal and emotional abuse has become too much for me. He was horrendous tonight, yet again I am sleeping at another house. I don't even want to go back to my own house.

He is leaving in a few days. I desperately need space but I'm still concerned for him.

He says he is at rock bottom in his life and sees no point in carrying on. Is this just another string to his emotional abuse, one minute he is angry and blaming me for everything and saying he never wants to see me again, ten minutes later he's sorry and loves me so much!!!! I know he is suffering at the moment with flashbacks and nightmares every night.

Do I take what he has said seriously? He is due to have an emdr session tomorrow. Should I let his therapist know about his state of mind?

I just don't know what to do anymore. Our relationship is over but I feel I still need to look out for him. This post may sound clinical and cold but believe me, I have done all I can. I was the one who fought for him to get therapy, he was on a years waiting list and I got him pushed up to immediate. I've read books on PTSD. I've scoured this forum for knowledge and advice.

I've just raised a large sum of money to pay him back what he put into our house only 5 months ago as he was finding it all too stressful. I've been left in an horrendous financial situation. I have, until today, reassured him constantly I still love him and we will get through this break. Today he walked through the door and said its over, he wants to not see me again.

An hour later he texts more abuse. Three hours later its changed to 'I'm so sorry, I still love you' etc etc.

It's total mind manipulation. I can't deal with it anymore. Is this behaviour PTSD or something else????

Any advice would be so welcome.

 

[jumad08]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. And it's hard to tell if the way he is acting is PTSD or just him. I just joined because my husband of 7 years has PTSD and refuses to get treatment, we have 2 daughters 4 and 6 and we are all dealing with the symptoms of the PTSD. This has been going on for 3 years now and getting worse. I am at my wits end too it's hard and you feel so much guilt about everything and you feel as though nothing you do is right or good enough and that in itself takes a toll on the healthiest person. I sympathize with you 100% and I am sorry I do not have a better answer for you, but I thought it might help some to know other people are going through it too and have no clue how to do what's best for everyone involved. Good luck to you and your significant other.

 

[PeekieBlue]

Hi jumad08

Thank you for replying, especially as you are also having a hard time at the moment.

We do indeed try our best but it does always seem that no matter how hard we try its always wrong and everything is our fault.

I know I am burnt out as I am starting to feel bitter. I don't want to get to the bitter stage.

Look after yourself. I think you will find this amazing forum a big support to you. There is a supporter section, have a good read.

Good luck to you and take care x