Catastrophising sucks

[SoSadGuilty]

I'm not sure if this thread belongs here or should I have posted in another part of the forum? Anyway, catastrophising sucks butt. I'm sick of my depression / anxiety thought processes. I did some less than perfect work and immediately assumed I'd be fired, disgraced and unemployed for the rest of my life. Being wrong or less than perfect sends me straight to catastrophe mode and believe me I'm less than perfect a lot! I'm trying hard to accept my humanity, my fallability and to take these experiences as learning experiences but man is it hard. I hit the valium on Friday afternoon and had to take a few hours off work. The panic and catastrophic thoughts were too much to bear.

 

[angrypanda]

I hear you loud and clear! There is a fantastic conversation going on in another thread about this exact thing and our distorted thinking. I'll post the link, hopefully it sticks.
https://www.myptsd.com/posts/960853/
Name That Distorted Cognition (thought/perception)

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I am the queen of catastrophising. Drives my husband and therapist nuts. I never realize I'm doing it at the time, but afterwards when it's pointed out to me, I can see it clear as day.

 

[sun seeker]

I'm not liking this post because I like that it is this way for you, just acknowledging. I can relate all too well. I go through cycles, sometimes better and sometimes worse. Talking myself out of it helps when I am below a certain level of activation. When I am fully triggered, forget it!

Hey, the last time I read one of your posts you were going to see if you could find a trauma therapist, as I recall. How is that going? I still think processing the trauma where you learned to think this way would very likely help. There is one huge memory I still haven't gotten into very far in therapy, that I am pretty sure is where a lot of this stems from for me.

 

[SoSadGuilty]

I'm not liking this post because I like that it is this way for you, just acknowledging. I can relat...

Hey there,

Am on a waiting list to be seen by psychologist but nothing else available at the moment. My mood has lifted enormously when compared to how I was feeling and acting around Christmas time. I too think I need to get to the root of this and hope that when I eventually get to see someone they help me do this. The OCD has abated but I'm left with this low level constant feeling of anxiety and I'm really finding it hard to deal with. The catastrophic thinking seems to be part of it and it is making work in particular very hard. My confidence is shot and I'm constantly afraid I've made or will make mistakes. I need to kick this in the butt!

 

[sun seeker]

I too think I need to get to the root of this and hope that when I eventually get to see someone they help me do this.

I too hope that for you. What you are going through sounds terribly painful. I so hope you are able to find some help with this. From someone who will help you work on the trauma, not try to talk you out of your reactions, imho.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

Yes it DOES suck. I feel wildly out of control and trapped by black murkey stuff plowing at high speed down a hill. Because for the second day hubby forgot to buy milk. It takes ecery bit of strength to not lash out at people. And in case people are coonfulsed, these feeling are NOT anxiety. THey are extreme, irrational rage. According to this particular event, if I were to keep track of very time it happened...there would be holes in my walls, broken my windows, nothing it's place. Anything breakable would be toast. IF I were to continue bottling it up instead if respectly letting out, I will make myself sicker simply because of the constantly hi pulse and blood pressure. And for me letting go of triggers sends me into massive panic - "they're all going to LEAVE me! Help!

 

[Stickler]

My old therapist had me give a logical estimated probability of the feared catastrophe actually happening.

I found that very helpful.

 

[Tinyflame]

@Stickler , if we didn't think it was likely, would we think of it as a catastophie? :confused: (That is, isn't the fact we think it likely, & we don't have the resources to deal with it, the reason we feel that way? )

 

[Rumors]

I know I am catastrophising when my therapist asks me, "does that seem rational?" I usually laugh now and say, "to me, yes...to you, apparently not."
I think I was so caught up in that thought process that I had absolutely no clue how to do anything without thinking about what bad was going to happen as a result of my actions. I think the root cause goes back to control issues. Feeling out of control for me sets me off. It has taken me almost 5 years in therapy to realize that. I hope you can reel yours in and find some peace. Best wishes!

 

[SoSadGuilty]

I know I am catastrophising when my therapist asks me, "does that seem rational?" I usually laugh now an...

5 years of therapy, wow well done! I am on the waiting list for a therapist and am likely to be waiting 6 months.

I'm doing quite badly again at the moment. Had a major meltdown this morning and went back to bed. Got back up though and went to work. Trying to get hold of my doctor now as definitely need some help with this. Am also taking two days off work which I hate doing but I think I need the break.

 

[Rumors]

5 years of therapy, wow well done! I am on the waiting list for a therapist and am likely to be wait...

I don't necessarily feel like it is well done! It seems like a very long time to spend getting to the bottom of things. I don't know how long I will be in therapy but I have tried to dedicate myself to the thought that I will see it through. There are so many things I haven't finished in life but none more important than this. I feel like it is my only chance to feel whole.... It feels good to work through things that felt like they had no resolve.