Childhood Childhood "spanking" that caused ptsd and sexual trauma

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Friday

Moderator
I think I’m really starting to see what you guys are saying. I have assigned an innocent word concept to describe my abuse. I was not given a harmless spanking. I was humiliated. I was not spanked by the babysitter, I was beaten and used for sexual gratification.

Yep. Exactly.

I don't understand how it's not possible he just got mad and spanked you.
If someone puts you over the knee and holds you against their penis, getting hard and groaning and thrusting against you as they hit you, and continue hitting you and hitting you and hitting you, until they come... is there any way that’s NOT sexual?

That’s just one example of... oh, maybe 15 or 20 different examples I can think of offhand.

Some may be purely sexual, some may be a combination of assault and sexual assault, some purely about power and pain... IE some all about body placement / rubbing up against them (and could substitute spanking for cooking or sleeping or reading or watching tv or listening to music or whatever the pedo chooses as the “reason” to be rubbing up on the child); others purely about getting off on their struggles and pain if it wasn’t spanking it could be jerking off whilst hitting them with a riding crop as they’re tied to a bed, or raping them as they cut them to lube them up; others a combination... essentially talking about they’re a power domination rapist with sadistic tendencies so they have to be in complete control of their victim, and be causing them pain, and it’s that combination that turns them on and let’s them come.

Any which way you slice it? It’s a pedophile sexually assaulting a child in those 15 or 20 different examples of hitting a child for their own sexual gratification.

Not a caregiver disciplining a child. Not even in the same universe as disciplining a child.

The same way that locking a kid in a basement or closet for 3 days without food, water, toilet... isn’t timeout.

Any normal way of disciplining a child? Can be perverted into abuse. That doesn’t make the normal thing abusive. Because it’s not the normal thing. It’s the wrong word being used to describe abuse.
 

JadeB.

MyPTSD Pro
@Friday I think you need to read through this entire thread again.The sexual abuse you described is clearly sexual abuse that you came up with on your own but not at all what the OP has described. Not at all
 

Breathe

Learning
Yep. Exactly.


If someone puts you over the knee and holds you against their penis, getting hard and groaning and thrusting against you as they hit you, and continue hitting you and hitting you and hitting you, until they come... is there any way that’s NOT sexual?

That’s just one example of... oh, maybe 15 or 20 different examples I can think of offhand.

Some may be purely sexual, some may be a combination of assault and sexual assault, some purely about power and pain... IE some all about body placement / rubbing up against them (and could substitute spanking for cooking or sleeping or reading or watching tv or listening to music or whatever the pedo chooses as the “reason” to be rubbing up on the child); others purely about getting off on their struggles and pain if it wasn’t spanking it could be jerking off whilst hitting them with a riding crop as they’re tied to a bed, or raping them as they cut them to lube them up; others a combination... essentially talking about they’re a power domination rapist with sadistic tendencies so they have to be in complete control of their victim, and be causing them pain, and it’s that combination that turns them on and let’s them come.

Any which way you slice it? It’s a pedophile sexually assaulting a child in those 15 or 20 different examples of hitting a child for their own sexual gratification.

Not a caregiver disciplining a child. Not even in the same universe as disciplining a child.

The same way that locking a kid in a basement or closet for 3 days without food, water, toilet... isn’t timeout.

Any normal way of disciplining a child? Can be perverted into abuse. That doesn’t make the normal thing abusive. Because it’s not the normal thing. It’s the wrong word being used to describe abuse.
You really described that better than I could have. I was not able to come up with the right syntax for it.

Context matters. I second what @Friday said. There are ways that it is inappropriate and the OP feels, as an adult, that this was the case. It would best worked out with a therapist with a true diagnosis however.
What does OP stand for?
 

Sideways

Sponsor
I’m reading physical abuse from the OP, but I don’t get at all how the leap is made that there was any kind of sexual component. But, physical abuse is physical abuse - and, that’s not okay.

There’s a lot of issues that I think are better worked through with a T. Why is this person creepy to you simply because he’s an older male babysitter? Being angry at your parents makes perfect sense to me (their job is to keep you safe), but your mum declaring the household ‘spank free’, telling you not to spank your toys, would suggest mum was at least trying to keep you safe from abuse, and help you understand that spanking isn’t ok.

So, a lot to work through. Let go of the “I have ptsd as a result” thing. That’s for a professional to diagnose, and it seems to me that just working through some of these issues with a specialist might resolve a lot of the mixed emotions attached to these experiences.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
The sexual abuse you described is clearly sexual abuse that you came up with on your own but not at all what the OP has described.

... actually the babysitter was abusive by default.

Since not in position to administer even disciplining punishments, not his place.
His place is to protect the child, punishment is up for the parents.

Who, whoopsie, had generally a *no spanking rule* in their house...
So that would also go against their direct wishes, as parents.

We are just reading this right, from the parent/parenting vs not, position, of what the original poster said.
 

Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
So, we, the readers can't say if it was sexual abuse. Perhaps we can suspend judgement on that and focus on what we do know. It does seem to me that clearly abuse has happened. A babysitter spanking a child for a prolonged period and inflicting great pain is abuse.

And OP has said more about the spanking scenarios with the dad, and those sound like components of abuse too. Humiliation and mind games combined with spanking are different than parental spanking to teach a child. It's also different than a one-off bad parenting moment like hitting a child because the child hits your injured knee. Yes, the OP has also said that the parents were loving. There are abusive homes that also are often loving and supportive. That doesn't mean the abuse isn't real. It adds a deep level of confusion to the abuse though.

And yes, I think talking to a therapist about this is a very important step.
 
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