Days We Look Forward To Are Dangerous.

[Friday]

I lost a -much longer- post to the ether… does anyone else resonate with this?

 

[Dynamic]

Is this you fear the days will be bad so why look forward

Or

Getting attached to them is bad? Because even if they look one way they can be something else when we get there and it’s sometimes devastating

 

[user27357]

a recent profile post of mine- better stated- reads: Disappointment is born of expectation. Expectation is born of hope. Hope springs eternal. Were f*cked.

 

[arfie]

it made absolute sense when my hypervigilance was stuck in hyper mode. i was not above self-sabotage to stilt the odds in favor of my doomsaying.

after a few decades of plying therapy tools, i remain cautious of optimism but can now believe the math which tells me a favorable outcome is as likely as a disastrous one. good/bad are 50/50 propositions, after all.

 

[Rose White]

Sounds like a control thing to ward off disappointment/regret/unforeseen shit. If you know ahead of time they are dangerous then you’re not a victim (fantasy).

 

[user27357]

If you know ahead of time they are dangerous then you’re not a victim (fantasy).

but if you know ahead of time they are dangerous and they happen anyway you are at fault (cognitive distortion)

 

[Warrior Chicken]

Resonates like mad.
Dangerous days give that raison d’être.
Give me a mission worthy of danger and I’ll give you a life worth living.
It’s the success at the end of the danger I look forward to.

 

[Shaylee]

I didn’t even have to think about what you may or may not have meant…They are dangerous and terrifying and I am on edge the entire time because I just know the second I drop my guard the boot will drop AND the shit will hit the fan. Then after the day is over I must analyze before I can proclaim it a success, or good, or even fun.

 

[Mich1979]

Yep- I am also constantly on edge. It’s exhausting

 

[Weemie]

I don't particularly "look forward" to days, and this is probably one of the reasons why. My instinct is to push it down, as "waiting for it isn't helpful" (and I might be disappointed if it doesn't go well). Kind of the whole mentality behind my existence, I think. If I don't feel anything, then I won't be hurt/disappointed/blah blah. But I know that even when things are going well, I will get much more annoyed quickly.

Like, I'm terrible about receiving gifts. Even if it's an amazing gift. I'll be like, pissed off that it doesn't work immediately or took 10 seconds to open or I briefly misplaced it or, or. Or something. I figure it's to do with the whole 'good stress/bad stress' thing. Whenever your nervous system is amplified in any way, whether it's positive or negative, PTSD doesn't know the difference so goes a little haywire.

Knowing this is the case I'm usually better able to prepare myself for the times that I know I'm more likely to be worked up, including positive as well as negative stressors. People don't expect you to be annoyed when something is going your way!

 

[Freida]

well duh.
looking forward means setting expectations. Expectations mean having hope. Hope means future plans will go the "right" way
Reality? 70/30 split that looking forward will end very, very badly so you better get prepared for the shit just in case.

Sadly that was my immediate response. Didn't even have to think about it.
Guess there's some work on that in my future huh? But hey, it's not 100% so that counts!

 

[Rose White]

gifts. Even if it's an amazing gift. I'll be like, pissed off that it doesn't work immediately or took 10 seconds to open or

I’ve been learning about hunter-gatherer cultures lately and found out that gifts usually trigger dismissive or even insulting behavior from the receivers. Reason being that these societies are typically very egalitarian and so it’s important that everyone feel equal so there would never be someone uplifted for providing or heroism etc. Similarly gambling, especially for valuable items, is frequently used in social gatherings as a way to distribute resources randomly.