If I had only done better but that is not reality.
I knew. I really did know. I warned people. No one listened to me. I even had options and phone numbers to ring. I was ignored.This.^^ I do the same thing regarding my mom; a lot of self-blame for things I could do nothing about because I didn't know A LOT about what was going on or what needed to be done.
Yeah I need to accept this!We do what we know to do within our capacity to do it at the time. That is a hard truth for me to hold present in my mind, but it is the truth for me and I suspect for you as well.
I hope you'll be careful with that thought. You suspected. Your wee pretty sure. Your has reason to be concerned. But, truly, you had no way to literally know. And, even if you had, coming to the rescue was beyond your capacity. You did all you could, and more than many people would have.I knew. I really did know.
My T corrects me when I use the words "should and shouldn't". He says they carry too much shame with them most of the time.It shouldn't play on my mind this much.