Does It Get Any Better?

[WillyKat]

@rightkindofme is absolutely right. There is nothing linear at all about getting better. It's best I think to plan for setbacks because there will be some. Sometimes it seems like things are getting worse. (Sheesh, I wish I knew that before I experienced them myself.)

You may experience this multiple times, this thing of being hit over the head with more material to process, just about the time you thought you had made some really good progress. I've seen that multiple times. Just recently, I finally started processing shame and fortunately, the surprise wasn't as difficult as previous surprises were (like anger).

It's like climbing a mountain and reaching "the top" only to realize it isn't the top, just a bump along the way. Hang in there.

 

[falling_wave]

I want to make sure that you know you have support here and I'd love to talk more if you would like to. I can relate so much with what you are saying. I'm 25 and also in graduate school to become a therapist and have a job in social services. I've always been the listener and helper type. No one in school or work would ever know I was struggling. They constantly comment on how insightful I am to understanding clients and it's always been my secret that I know from first hand experience. I've found that here and in my own therapy I can be real with the intensities of emotions that I feel and the healing process. That has been so helpful in moving through it. Medication was really helpful to me for a while and made therapy more effective but it stopped working recently and I too had kind of an "is there even hope" crisis. I'm almost done tapering off though and I all the sudden feel hope. There is a way through and your experiences will help you help others. My therapist told me when we were talking about this exact thing that she can see gradual insight and change and for a while memories will continue to bubble up and it will seem like you have to start over but over time you will be desensitized to most of it and that is when you can start to heal. The memories have all been worked through and there finally are no more. Try to eat well, exercise, and take care of things that would cause you minor day to day stress quickly so it doesn't build up and overwhelm. Hugs hang in there and reach out as much as you need to.

 

[Changing4Best]

There is nothing wrong with being the person that everyone turns to for strength. On the other hand, let folks know you need some support too, even if they have turned to you for support. Support can be a two way thing.