General Evie's Cancer

[Kathy]

Thank you again everyone for the warm thoughts. Rob, welcome to the forum, lovely to have you, and thank you for the book recommendation. 2quilt, I would kiss Chairman Meow however now that Evie is back home, he has eyes for only her! :wink: He is extremely attached to her; we call him "Evie's shadow". He follows her from room to room, sleeps with her and so on. He is her constant companion. Funny how animals choose a person; he used to be my cat!

Evie is doing somewhat better, though she is still very tired and resting as she should be. However she was on the forum and has posted her new diary. The diary did trigger her, last night she had vivid flashbacks of being shot, actually felt the pain in her abdomen and was in quite a panic over it. Thankfully it lasted less than an hour and she was able to sleep. She's been having fewer nightmares since the surgery, which is a blessing. I believe part of her sleeping so much is simply catching up on her sleep debt, which she has accumulated over the past few months of pretty much constant nightmares.

She continues to be much calmer as well. It is still only a week since the surgery, so we hesitate to be too hopeful, however her anger really does seem to have lessened. She will be going for a follow-up MRI in a few weeks to further evaluate the situation with her brain. Yesterday was a real test for her however, as she often becomes quite enraged on the forum. When she was on yesterday, she read something which did annoy her, and her feelings were hurt as well. However, whereas she usually becomes very angry and has trouble controlling herself and letting go of the anger, this time she simply told me she was upset by what was written. After talking about it she was able to let go of it and ignore it. So I am hoping that continues. She obviously still has much anger in her, that is the nature of the beast given her severe PTSD. But there have been times where the anger and rage was so very severe that we wondered how much control she really had over it, as she has always worked so very hard upon herself. So, we are hoping this is an early sign of better things to come...

 

[Jen]

Hi Kathy that is great that the cat has attached itself to Evie as they are the best therapy. When I had my op my daughter had a photo of my dog waiting for me when I came out out of the surgery:smile:
You will have to go and get yourself another one now!:think:

Good to see that Evie is settled at the moment it is still a long road ahead.
Jen

 

[pandora]

I am so glad Evie is home and you all seem do being doing quite well. i am glad Evie is able to post here again. I have learned a lot from her and i truly admire her courage and strength.

 

[Kathy]

Tempting as it is Jen, I think I will delay getting another cat for now, as we are getting a puppy very shortly, and that will be tremendous amount of work. It is supposed to be Evie's responsibility to train the pup, however realistically, with her illness I will likely be assisting her. :rolleyes:

Pandora, I am touched that you admire Evie and have learned from her. It is good to hear, especially with her struggling so.

 

[Kathy]

Well, a brief update on Evie as I have not commented on her for a few days. She is still recovering from her surgery, and needing extra rest as she has been fainting and feeling light headed. She has been on the forum a bit again, which is good to see, and enjoying her new blog very much. The best news is her mood continues to be largely a positive one, she becomes tearful thinking about Brian but so do we all and that is a healthy part of grieving. Her anger has dissipated so dramatically since the surgery that we really have to wonder if the tumour was indeed affecting her brain. She still has the usual PTSD iritability however seems much more in control of herself. Additionally her anger on the forum has dramatically declined, and she is practicing being assertive and doing a very good job of it! So overall we are very pleased and hopeful. We won't know for certain about the brain aspect until she has her next MRI in a few weeks' time.

 

[Jen]

Thats good to see Kathy good to see she is handling things ok!
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Jen and yes, it is most exciting! Jim and I are still waiting for a meltdown, as this is Evie's pattern, however it has been 2 weeks now, and she survived the busy household with no major difficulties! It is still too early to tell if this is a permanent change, and obviously Evie is human and will make mistakes as we all do, however we are most hopeful.

 

[Jen]

Still all good news so far Kathy fingers crossed!
Jen

 

[Damiea]

I would think that with the signs that some or most of Evie's anger and emotional trouble has been from this tumor to be a huge relif to her!! Thinking its your fault that you can't control yourself enough and alwase trying to be better with no results must be hard emotionally. now knowing it might not be that she wasn't trying hard enough but because of something she can't control will hopefully boost her self confidance and overall image of herself!! Hope things keep getting better!!

 

[Kathy]

Yes definitely Damiea, she is gaining confidence. It was terribly heart breaking to observe her working so hard upon herself and yet losing control time and time again. This went on for months literally. And I don't mean PTSD anger per se; she still has that. I refer to the terrible rages where she would often black out. We do believe the surgery is part of it. Also the family discussing the death of our son Brian more openly has helped tremendously. We are uncertain which is the larger factor, however I'm not going to argue with success!

 

[Tammy]

To Kathy, Jim and Evie,
I have been a member of this site for quite a while now although I must admit that some times I stay gone for weeks at a time. I am unsure as to the full impact of Evie's PTSD and/or cancer. But tonight I read this post from beginning to end and as I am usually not excessively emotional, I was overcome by so many different emotions! Some time sad, then happy, then just plain angry (not with the people and their entries, but with your situation in general).
I admire all three of you immensely for all that you are going through and handling. I have two boys myself (both undr two) and a partner with PTSD and I just cannot imagine ever being capable of the strngth that your entire family seems to have. I know it has been said before by another member but I cannot remember who- it just sucks that these things happen to 'innocent' people. I am not a religious person but whilst reading your posts I found myself praying for you all!
I find it very encouraging that you are continuing to support and love each other through all of this, and I hope that if ever I was faced with such trials that I would be able to handle them as well as you do. I sit here typing these words and I realise that this may seem very conceited however I just felt the need to express my feelings. I have never spoken to Evie before but from what I have read she should be Hercules and the Hulk put together with all that she has been through.
Anyway, before I 'annoy' you further I will sign off but please know that my thoughts are with you all. I hope everything works out perfectly for you and your family from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Kathy]

Tammy, it is most interesting you mention Hercules and the Hulk, as Evie is a professional comic book artist. Many of the avatars on the forum were drawn by her, including Jim's and mine. She loves comic book characters, the Hulk being one of her favourites. It never occurred to me she might relate to his anger issues, however you may be quite correct! I know she identifies strongly with Batman, hence why she is Batgirl on this forum.

Once again, thank you for your thoughts, you are most certainly not annoying me. As I mentioned in the other thread I am having a rather difficult couple of days, however your post has cheered me some. Jim and I have worked extremely hard over the years to keep our family close and it is always good to hear when others notice. If anything Tammy, I wish the same closeness we have in our family to be extended to your own, especially with your little ones. It is worth every effort in the world and does make life that much bearable during difficult times.