Express "Whatever" And "All" It Is That Has You Swamped On Any Given Day

[Nam]

Veiled, my memory log is now full of color from my four year old showing her creative talents. I totally understand your frustration. It's somehow surreal to see all of my hurts decorated with lively crayola crayons.

I am stressed about my two year old peeing all over the place. She has been potty trained for a good six months if not more, but now she knows that the baby is coming and somehow is regressing.

I am deceiving my family and my midwife by not telling them my plans for the birth. I need only support of my birth choice as of right now and knowing from my past history, my parents are not very good about that: support that is. Somehow, I feel like I'm "gonna get in trouble". I know this is the right choice for me, but I also know that about 95% of the people I know think I'm crazy at best, and irresponsible baby killer as the worst.

 

[piglet]

Hey Nam, it's your body and your baby - people should honour whatever way you choose to deliver. Not to mention the fact that the baby will pretty much decide for you anyway!

 

[Deleted member 93]

Nam just print the basic stats out. Let them argue with documented proof. I know how you feel I went through all that BS when I had the youngest at home. And Oh lord the regressed potty training, I could go all day about that. Her too since the move. It is a constant fight to stay on top of her to make sure she uses the potty. And forget it if I put a diaper on her to prevent accidents, then it is just "permission" to not use the bathroom! ARGH... I get the annoyance with little accidents all over the house. It is harder this time than the original go!

 

[anthony]

Stats are pretty high for hospital births that a caesar will occur. Private hospitals often higher than public. Home birth is a completely safe option, and lets be honest here, midwives are the one's who deliver babies more often than not. If a doctor is present, they turnup at the last moment to catch the baby, if they arrive at all. Home birth is completely safe. People just struggle to wrap their mind around it, as I did actually, but being through it, its actually better than the hospital environments by far.

Now... Scott, I have removed the derogatory remark you made; why? Because it was directed towards a member, not a statement in general.

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Now... Scott, I have removed the derogatory remark you made; why? Because it was directed towards a member, not a statement in general.

Hi Anthony, very sorry if I insulted Veiled, it won't happen again.
Scott

 

[Nam]

Thanks guys for the support. I appreciate it. I'm sure the climate here will be more hostile about it. I've got time to mull this over (and over, and over....) The reason for my first C/section was from the hospital itself. I'm almost positive an infection would not have occurred at home. And because of that C-section, I'm labeled as high risk, when in fact it's a high litigation risk for the doctor. Well, hopefully, I won't have to put him through the extra stress...since I won't be a patient.

 

[goingonhope]

Nam, Wishing you and the baby the best.
**

Today's horrendous! It makes me feel angry beyond belief that an abuser and guy that's been dead for now 15 yrs. still at times has the power to sicken, cripple me emot. and make me feel so miserable I don't know what to do with myself, and or with those I love.

Hurt, frustrated, bewildered and angry today and can't figure out and truly remember for the life of me that on any given day I might just be stricken ill, and unable to function. I hate this PTSD thing so f'n badly. ......I hate it! ......I hate it! ......I hate it! It just hurts too much and lasts too, too long.
grrrrrr................ouch!

 

[Deleted member 93]

OK I am SOOOO not beating myself up for my meds today!!!! My dauhter I called is a young teen. I call to see how she is thinking I can handle her stupid shit today as well on my full dose. Wrong! Well, mom I just got done coloring my hair purple, green, and gold... Any one recognize those colors??? Mardis Gras!!! Galveston, has always done this like New Orleans. Not as huge as a hoopla but still pretty huge and just as crazy. Apparently they are already in Galveston with a friends aunt. I swear if I could have yanked her skinny ass through the phone I would have! So this is where she is going to get her example of women as a whole? Years of trying to teach her to be a respectful young lady is heading out the window at lighting speeds being with her dad... Who of course said sure go... FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND! A teen at Mardi Gras for the weekend. She swears it is the kids version (she would never go for kids version I know her). No such thing, yes they try to have family oriented days but nightlife is so different. And still you have a ton of drunk fools. My ex before the move was GCSD and he said it was a nightmare when he had to go work the extra patrol. I had a friend when I was a kid get stabbed by a bottle when he went. Who in their right mind lets a kid do Mardis Gras??? For those who do not kow what it is run a search for Mardi Gras Pics! I am pissed I am beyond pissed. I am shaking all over!!!! I swear to God my her father could not even shit half a brain if he tried. His only daughter. So he can have a free weekend. What? Andrea Yates not available for baby sitting? (Local next to where my daughter lives that drowned her 5 kids for those not in the US) I swear every damn time I call she tops her self. I feel like the side of my head is about to blow out.

Just pray she keeps her flipping shirt on and not drunk or end up in a bad place because of her dad's total lack of supervision. Fine he wants her to go. Fine then go with her and hold the little wild child's hand!!!! STUPID FCKER! But she has been busted sneaking out and drinking before so no trust in her to stay put when the night falls and every frigging perv from all of the SE Texas descends on this yearly blow out. I want to call that asshole but I can't. I HATE HIM!

 

[cookie]

oh veiled, praying for her to be safe. and for you to be calm. i am a "mommy worrier" myself, lol.
cathy

 

[goingonhope]

ya' veiled me too....like cookie. Prayer! I'll ask my daughter for real, to say a prayer for your daughter, a young teen, who though my daughter doesn't know, needs prayers for safety. I'll tell her I'm acquainted with her mother and she loves her daughter and is afraid for her.

Because that is a more than difficult situation and you have every right to be angry as all hell. And, the fear perfectly understandable. OMG

I'll ask my 7 yr. old to say this prayer, bc she loves to pray. She says her supper prayer, 4x, every morning she say's a hello God and good morning prayer and she is presently teaching me a beautiful prayer evenings. Though I have distrust issues galore', I still happen to still completely believe that God hears and responds to the faithful sincerity of children's prayers. It's just a personal belief, not to be imposed upon or argued by anyone.

Sorry veiled for the enorm. stress your under.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Thank you both so much, very appreciated! I have not been able to stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time today so I think it has drained me.

 

[goingonhope]

What has me swamped.......up until today, little to nothing, otherwise I would have briefly expressed it and gotten it out',........so again what has me swamped? i have me swamped, struggling with self, and with both physical turmoil and cigg. craving / obsession and addiction. There are many who can still smoke, if so.......I recommend you keep smoking them as long as you can.........I on the other cannot continue with this addiction, it's too far progressed......and I'm not speaking of the amount or quantity of smokes consumed, rather I'm speaking of the effects it's having all across the board...........feel very uncomfortable tonight in my own skin and unhappy with myself.

...taking a break'