F- you fathers day

[Muttly]

I know I should try to say more. I have therapy today and she's good at getting us to talk. Right now I just feel all squeezed up inside. I guess on the bright side, things didn't get really bad for us until this last day or so, which is better than it's been in the past. Just hate that stupid holiday. hate hate. And at work, there's stupid music and then they keep having little ads for fathers day. Celebrate how great your father was. no no no. he wasn't

and then after that comes the body's birthday, which might even be worse.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm going to pretend like the holiday doesn't exist. My father is dead (to me).

 

[Muttly]

I wish my father was really dead. Is that terrible to say? My therapist has helped me to understand that I am safe from him... or... well, she makes compelling arguments. I guess I don't really believe it. Or the little inside don't. They are terrified.

@EveHarrington That's a good plan. Let's create a new holiday for that day. What should it be? Silliness Sunday? Happy Puppy Day? Something else?

 

[EveHarrington]

I wish my father was really dead. Is that terrible to say? My therapist has helped me to understand that...

No, that's not terrible to say. I've said the same, as bad as it sounds. I was avoiding family because I didn't want to deal with this new non-relationship with my dad----I didn't want to talk about it. It turns out that they are all on my side because he walked away from them, too! (What an asssss!) Real death would be easier, I believe. This is a mega-trigger for me (think RAGE!)........I can't deal with him in the least. He did say that me screaming at his fiancé was UN-forgivable! Lol, I just hope it sticks. Unforgivable? Right. After all the shit he's done to me with no apology? Whatever.

Sorry, I need to stop. This is new-ish and still fresh.

 

[ladee]

My sperm donor is dead.... the bastard lived to be 98 !!! I'll die way before then because of him... but don't think I will be 'running into him on the other side'... sure hope not...
And my son is just like him.... in No Contact with my son for awhile now...
He was dead to me a long time before he took his last breath.... I don't hate him, surely don't love him, just indifferent.... and that is with a lot of healing work...

And I'm all for our own holiday..... we need to put some thought into that... sounds like fun...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Let's create a new holiday for that day.

I say scrap both mother's day and father's day. I have an issue with both and they are for what again? Do we have "children's day"? No! So, scrap them both and call it a day!

 

[Muttly]

@EveHarrington my heart goes out to you. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

@lostforgottensoul I wish I could just scrap the day. There are freaking reminders. I just opened my Facebook page for the first time in ages and what's at the top. A Facebook promo about Father's day. Blah!!!!

I can't face sleeping in the bedroom. It looks like I'll be couch sleeping. I hate that I'm not able to even sleep in my own bed. My anger all turns inward. I should be over this.

 

[Renestel]

I stumbled on this thread and oh my gosh, my heart breaks for you guys. I am the opposite, my dad was there for me always and my mom completely dropped the ball and left me to defend myself at 12. It's so weird/reflecting to read peoples experiences here on these threads. I so wish all you guys a friendly hug, kindness, and the hope that you keep walking your strong path. you guys sound strong, like you don't search out emotional handouts by men to cover your wounds and for that, you deserve a huge pat on the back. Have a wonderful night, ladies. :hug: