Fed Up With The Rollercoaster Of Emotion

[KP the nut]

Going to lie on the bed and listen to an audio book. Brain overload. Enough for today. CYA tomorrow.

OK best laid plans, I actually slept for 2 hours.

I made T laugh yesterday. When I arrived he asked how the week had been and if anything had come up out of the last session. I said only the whole they thought I'd be dead thing.

T - what did you do with the thought
Me - I put it in my box, you told me not to dwell on things
T - what I actually said was see where it takes you and if it is too intense then put it in your box
T - Do you always avoid stuff
Me - Yes
T - Why
Me - I don't like confrontation or conflict
T - But you come here and confront your trauma
Me - Yes but you are a necessary evil, you fall into the category as dentists

T cracked up, said he'd been called many things but never a 'necessary evil'

Linking arms

 

[Marie E.]

If I said that to my T, lmao I dunno what she would do. We joke sometimes. I don't want to be a trouble maker, but maybe I will crack a joke with her. Hmmm. Just something to distract me from the norm of how life seems right now.

 

[BloomInWinter]

*Linking Arms*

...and feeling amazement at the strength & courage gathered here...

 

[KP the nut]

OH God, what a week. It is 7.35pm and I feel so drained.

I have accomplished so much this week, but it has taken its toll.

Aqua aerobics yesterday was so good. At one point I realised I was enjoying this. It was good. The other women were friendly and supportive. It was a small group, 10 including me. It was the first time I'd attended a class since before my accident.

Again for the first time. I went into the local town centre on my own. Just driving there ( and negotiating the diversion) was an achievement. I had had a panic attack before I left home but controlled. It doesn't help I need to phone my consultant as ulcerative colitis is flaring up. I met a friend and we sat in a coffee shop for two and a half hours chatting. I then went to 3 shops and bought what I needed.

When I got home, I felt so tired and drained. Phoned H, who gave reassurance and sent me to lie down. I didn't sleep but felt better for a rest.

H has to go to Scotland in a months time, his boss suggested linking it to a weekend and taking me with him. It would be great to get away, exciting but scarey. H is waiting for confirmation from the company he needs to visit.

H is away 3 nights next week and is late home on the 4th. I think I need a quieter week next week. I can feel the panic closing in. I think I pushed to hard. I feel like I'm crashing and burning (and that was the nightmare last night).

Oh the joy of the rollercoaster.

Hoping you are there to link arms
Love
KP

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((((((KP)))))))))))))))

 

[deer_in_headlights]

We're here, Sweetheart!!!

((((((((((((Kath))))))))))))))
You did so many good things, and you'll be able to do more with less stress, as time goes on... and it won't be as difficult.
We're all linking arms with you!!! You're not alone, and you are loved immensely, thought about, prayed for...

For your ulcerative colitis, do you like pumpkin? Pumpkin is very, very soothing and promotes very rapid healing in the GI tract.
There are other foods that are really helpful for that as well, but pumpkin is one of the best...

(Should I put a favorite pumpkin receipe here? Or on Amethist's thread? I adapted a pie recipe to make a no-fat pumpkin "pudding?" that is a favorite treat. mmm wish I had a kitchen, I'd make some right now...)

Sounds exciting going to Scotland! What would you like to see and do there?

Sounds as if you need to do some very gentle self-care tonight and tomorrow. Hot bath, good food, snuggles with dogs, music, funny movie, etc... Please don't crash and burn... just stay safe in all our love, in our linked arms...

(((((((((((((Kath))))))))))))
You're wonderful (and I'm very proud of you)!
All my love,
Deer

 

[KP the nut]

(((BiW))) (((Deer)))

Thankyou I know I did good. Just feel numb.

Slept badly, oddly so did H.

I will be OK, just, I don't know. Can't think.

H out with dogs, I'll go make a pot of coffee for him coming back. Mmm fresh coffee and watch the birds on the feeders outside. It is RSPB bird watch this weekend, to count how many of what you have in the garden.

Linking arms

 

[Srain]

I love that term! I use that myself and have finally found a kindred spirit :)

Enjoy your coffee!

Rain

 

[deer_in_headlights]

((((((((((((Kath)))))))))))))

Linking arms! (Sleep is rough here, too.)
Great thing to do on a Saturday morning, Fresh coffee, (breakfast?) and birdwatching!
I hope you see lots of wonderful ones at your feeders this weekend!

Sending my love, and am thinking of you! Hoping your day is wonderful, and glad your H is home!

 

[anni]

I hope it's OK to ask, KP- but where in Scotland? I like to get things in my head that are familiar, that's all. My son, wife and grandson are moving there next month.

Edinboro. He's a British citizen, did his grad degree there and they just couldn't wait to go back. Sigh. Gosh it's going to be dreadful although they do not know I'm not happy as heck for them. Hard to let go, moving all that far away! Anyway, Scotland is beautiful, I do hope you have a wonderful holiday. I have to admit to sometimes lurking around the edges of the UK portions in the forum when the Chit Chat begins anyway- always miss it, life in the UK.

At least weekend birdwatching, and the relief/comfort it brings is the same on both sides of the pond. Thanks for the reminder. :) Must go make sure the chickadees have some seed.

Anni

 

[intothelight]

Hi KP,

I am getting my coffee and joining you!

So happy to hear you may be going to Scotland with your husband. That sounds like a wonderful getaway.


(((hugs)))
Deb

 

[KP the nut]

I hope it's OK to ask, KP- but where in Scotland? I like to get things in my head that are familiar, that's all. My son, wife and grandson are moving there next month. :eek: Edinboro.

It will be Edinburgh, but only if we can afford it. Probably yes as we both need a break. The drive won't be fun though, all those motorways all those trucks.

It will be sad for you when your son and his family move, but just think of the visit to them you can have. Also if you don't have one, buy a webcam, then you'll be able to see and chat.

I emigrated when I was 21, my H and moved to South Africa. My Mum never let me know how cut up she was. But it was my life, the same as I say to my girls.

Love
KP