Fed Up With The Rollercoaster Of Emotion

[KP the nut]

Today was a tough day, and if I say it myself I came through it with flying colours. I DID GOOD :D.

This morning I went to another work base and attended a full team meeting, double the number of people. I wasn't very confident, but I managed to get through it with help from friends.

T this afternoon and I cleared another target. We worked through the negative cognition and then I believed the positive cognition. It has taken weeks but progress has been made. T also wants me to consider doing and an Institute of Advanced Driving course to build confidence and learn defensive driving, watch this space. T asked how I was feeling as I was leaving and I looked at him and said 'Pretty Damn Good'. T cracked up and said 'so not bad for psycho babble' :roflmao:.

I still feel good although v tired. Despite being tired I still made fudge when I got home. Now just the dogs to walk and then I can relax with a glass of wine beside lit candles.

 

[intothelight]

Despite being tired I still made fudge when I got home. Now just the dogs to walk and then I can relax with a glass of wine beside lit candles.

Kath,

I am with you there in spirit...please pass the fudge!

;)

 

[KP the nut]

Another good thing about T today:D :D:D

I was doing my 4 element grounding techniques and had finished. T asked me if during the breathing exercise I had heard the 2 emergency vehicle sirens. I looked blank (even more blank than usual :roflmao:) and said no. He hadn't thought so as I hadn't done the startled cat thing. He was pleased I am accepting what was a major trigger.

 

[KP the nut]

I'm a bit confused. I can't go into details, but someone I thought was a friend has asked we stop commmunicating directly. Of course, PTSD and childhood conditioning say that this is all my fault. It is always down to me :poop:.

Quite low right now, I've told this person stuff I've never told anyone else, so I'm feeling vulnerable. What if this person shares my stuff.

:notworthy::sick:

 

[intothelight]

Hi KP,

I have no clue why people just terminate relationships and offer no explanations. It hurts.

Sending you (((hugs))).

Deb

 

[AngelaMarie]

KP,
That bites!!! Do not take it on yourself. Whatever is going on there is nothing you can about it. I understand you are worried about what she may say. Just take it a little at a time. Also realize that if she did that maybe she wasn't a good friend in the first place?!

 

[curiouser]

I'm also gonna send you some (((hugs))) KP. I agree with ITL it can hurt so much when people just want to end a relationship for unknown reasons, specially if you were close and shared personal stuff.

As far as the fear that they might share any personal information with someone else, someone very smart gave some great advise recently they said "There are things which you cannot control. Try and put those to one side." Sound familiar? ;)

Honestly I think it's the other person's loss not to want to continue to have a relationship with you, someone smart and caring, who gives great advise.:)

 

[KP the nut]

someone very smart gave some great advise recently they said "There are things which you cannot control. Try and put those to one side." Sound familiar? ;)

Was that me - I'm no way that smart:speechless:.

I'm so low at the moment, I could do with talking to T now and not wait until Wed. I feel as if I've been fooling myself into thinking I'm worth something.

I must keep the mask in place, a busy day tomorrow and my daughter and her partner visiting on Sunday and all I can do is sit here with tears rolling down my face. I just don't see the point at the moment.

It is bedtime, maybe tomorrow will be better, it can't be worse. :sick::notworthy:

 

[KP the nut]

The mask is in place. I've survived today (oh, it has gone midnight, so I suppose I mean yesterday).

Tomorrow (today) my daughter and her boyfriend are coming to visit for the day. Be bright, be happy, smile - :poop:

Then work, a longer week this week.................

Crashing....

 

[tigrou465]

Dear Kath... I wish I could be there for you... I.m myself pretty down... but I'm thinking of you and I applaud your willingness... Hang in there, you are not alone... Love Tig..

 

[Deleted member 6617]

((((KP)))) thinking of you and linking arms!

 

[AngelaMarie]

Good luck, Kath....through this trying time. You will be okay even though it doesn't feel like it now.