Fighting Urge To Self-harm..struggling

[SwordsPandaGirl]

I used to self- harm and have stopped for 4 months but as the days go on im finding it harder and harder to fight the urge. Im very much on the fence tonight and I'm struggling a lot. I feel so lonely and the pain is so much. I have a need to just do it....just so that I can feel better :( I don't want to but the urge is too strong. I don't know how to fight it back anymore. If you have any advice I would really appreciate it as I'm not sure what to do anymore. Thanks.

 

[Jnean]

Not sure this is best advice but gonna give it a try. I don't know you but you must be hurting over stuff that has happened or is happening to you and I want to say that I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to feel better for me at times. If I have a lot of chances to be alone or time to myself it is worse. Being others that I care about help me at least go through the motion of what is expected of me. Finding joy in anything to feel better is hard and right before sleep is my worst time. Sometimes things work for me like watching movies I enjoy or listening to music in my headphones or listening to a book, I may even clean or folding laundry can help me and sometimes just hearing from someone else that I'm not alone helps or even talking to others that could have advice on this site, just the mere writing the words can help me on here. You are not alone.

 

[laurainalameda]

You just have to take it moment by moment. Keep as busy as possible. Stay out of the house, if you can manage to get out. Do some tricky cleaning task, like taking everything out of the kitchen cupboards, check the dates wipe the shelves, and put it all back. Look up "urge surffing" on the internet, it's something addicts do, and try it. It helps me. Draw on yourself with red sharpie, in as beautiful a pattern as you can. Take your prn meds, if you have them. Moment by momoent. You've been hurt enough.

 

[Ellabella44]

I try to think of it as if I do it, I'm letting anyone who hurt me make me hurt myself.
And do they deserve to have the power to do that? NO.

I've quit cutting but I haven't been able to quit picking scabs from accidental cuts until they are are scars. The little things not too noticeable since I have alot of freckles.

I can honestly tell you what helped for the big things. Eiether way, does it really let the pain out of your skin? No.

It doesn't solve things. Be gentle with yourself and find a different way to self soothe. Sorry that's all I can think of. Hope somehow I've helped.

 

[Friday]

What did you replace self harm with?

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

@Jnean It's a bit of both, im hurting over the abuse suffered in the past as well as other stress factors in my life atm. You're right, being alone makes it that much harder and I find myself alone now. This is mainly due to being back at University (I live by myself) and I only come into contact with others when I go to lecturers. The problem is I have been feeling very depressed so I sometimes do not go in at all. I can't talk to anyone about how I'm feeling because no one seems to understand what I am going through and they take it the wrong way. Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone, this website helps me see others are going through similar.

@laurainalameda I find it a struggle to get out of the house and to do very much at all. I've been trying to keep busy with my studies but I find myself thinking whats the point, I can't concentrate very well. I will look into the "urge suffering" thanks for the advice. Im trying to take it by the moment.

@Ellabella44 Thanks Ella. I do want to try and find other ways to self soothe but nothing is helping. I've tried soothing music, distracting myself etc but nothing is taking the urge right now. I'm feeling too much pain and its really over powering :(

@FridayJones I hadn't really replaced it with anything. I was getting married and I didnt want photos with cuts all over, that was my only incentive to not continue self-harming. The problem is, I find myself alone now, away from people (as im living on my own)and things have gotten more complicated for me. My symptoms are through the roof and my depression has come back badly. I feel lonely and like others don't understand me, not even my hubby at times and this is making things worse for me.

Thanks everyone for your reply.

 

[laurainalameda]

I spelled it wrong. It's urge surfing like on a surf board oops. Laura

 

[Ellabella44]

I sometimes walked until my legs hurt to stop cutting. I now put on a you tube meditation and end up calmed so much I fall asleep.

 

[Chava]

Compression to the places I want to hurt sometimes helps. Wrapping my arm or leg with athletic tape, or wrapping my torso in a tight stretchy blanket. It's calming. Exercise helps me too...gets some of the energy out, so takes down the intensity of things. But I know it's hard to even try new things when struggling.

Helps if part of you wants to take care of yourself, not for photos or anything, but just to offer yourself some compassion. If I want to cut my arm, I hold onto it tight (to make a long story short, I recognized that my self-injuring was probably connected, oddly enough, to self-protective impulses that got thwarted...and now I'm reorganizing that). When really overwhelmed, I hang out in the smallest, coziest part of my house, dim lights, and stay there until I feel okay (this may or may not work well for others...I'm not isolating or drifting into void in these moments, but pretty intentionally keeping myself "safe").