Has Anyone Ever Laughed In Your Face?

[Tmt]

I'm really hurt and upset. I feel like I'm over reacting. I had a major anxiety attack in front of my mom. And she laughed in my face told me to calm down before I started having a tantrum, this is how she refers to my flashbacks.

It only made my anxiety worse. I left and drove home. So angry right now! It feels so wrong to be this mad at her. Does that make sense?

 

[desiderata310]

Yes. Makes sense. You were just invalidated.
I'm sorry, that was cruel.

 

[Intrepid]

That makes sense. Happened to me too. 90% of people don't understand, or have their own problems.

 

[Tmt]

Ok. Thank you. I was worried I was unjustified in my feelings.

 

[Lolly]

I get yelled at when I'm having a flashback, and they always try to stroke me or hug me, which makes the flashback so much worse. I'm so sorry that happened to you, as desdirate said, it was cruel. You did not deserve that. Unfortunately there are people who can't comprehend things like flashbacks/anxiety attacks/things of that nature. You are not wrong to be mad with her, and you did the right thing to leave the situation. I hope you're ok, take care!

PS,

welcome to the forum! :)

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Totally. I remember my dad used to laugh in my face when I was talking about suicide, I haven't forgiven him for that to this day.
Parents sometimes are the best at invalidating their kids because they mean so much to their kids. They have psychological problems of their own when they feel a need to do that. So you didn't cause it :)

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Welcome to the forum, that was a very cruel thing to do especially as it was your mum. I hate it when they say calm down like we are purposely behaving in this manner. It enrages me if I'm totally honest . I've had a really crap weekend flashbacks from Thursday night all day Friday and left with anxiety , panicky and very emotional . Feel depressed nd have no appetitie. My husband merely told me to RELAX !!!! I won't type my reply but let's say it wasn't very pleasant !!! I keep asking him to do research and read up on PTSD to give him some understanding of how I can't just snap out if it, or get over it, or relax, or just suddenly stop feeling depressed nd having flash backs , and how a few drinks aren't gonna help me nd so on and on. I give up!!! I suggest when ur not so upset to try and talk to your mum and explain to her how it made you feel or ul find it will just fester until u explode or have flashbacks or another panick attack. I'm gonna do the same tom with my husband x good luck

 

[Friday]

Regardless of "what" it is... When someone, especially someone we care about, does the "wrong" thing in the moment? It hurts x10. In addition to the "wrong" thing, it also adds in elements of betrayal, misunderstanding, not feeling cared for, invalidation, et cetera.

Personally, I like it when someone laughs at me when I start to freak out. It's not a universally bad/wrong reaction. In fact, I'm not sure there is a universally bad/wrong reaction to someone in a state. Different things work best & worst for different people. Regardless of what the knee-jerk moment is, though... When it's the wrong one for us? Individually? Um. Yeah. Already in a state. That is about to get much worse. Gah! So, so, so frustrating.

Most people, in my experience, are unwilling or unable to change their knee-jerk reactions to emotional crisis. Some people laugh, others mirror, others get angry, others go cold, others get all ooey gooey, others get calm, others, others, others, others. It is worth it, though, to talk with them when I'm not all messed up. Because while their knee-jerk reaction may be set in stone, that reaction may also simply be their set reaction when they don't know what to do. Either way, I gain some knowledge. Either this person helps or makes things worse when I'm a mess. Regardless of how much they intend to be helping or hurting.