Have You Ever Thought Your Physical Pain Was In Your Head ?

[Sammyiam]

Hi everyone,

I have just been to the hospital to have an x-Ray on my shoulder. I fell off a horse when I was 15 and broke my arm and damaged my shoulder. It has been sore ever since, but have been to scared to get anything done with it for fear that I was just a whimp and soft and needed to toughen up. I have been going to physio and she got so sick of not being able to sort it out and help it and watching me in so much pain that when I turned up to my appointment today she said come on we are going for a ride I said where and she said to the X-Ray machine, I started sweating and said but I carn't because if it's in my head you will think I'm crazy. She had a friend who takes X-Rays and wouldn't say no. I went as I didn't want her to growl me, and get into trouble. It's only been 32 years since I broke it.

Off we went and she came in with me and took the X-Rays, they both looked at them and said wow look at that. My arm bone has a big bow in it and at the top of my arm bone it has a massive lump of bone on the end which is catching every time I move it. She said it is bone rubbing on bone and catching on muscle and stuff as well. I have to wait for them to be read by a specialist and then she what they can do.

The next thing she wants to do is a ultra sound as she reckons that all the nerves are trapped somewhere as my arm and hand go numb all the time.

I don't know what to feel as I have always thought I was just a whimp and needed to toughen up. Have any of you thought it was in your head and you were just making it up somehow ? Or didn't want to be a pain and ask for help like me.

I just didn't want to waste anyone's time and make waves. I still feel bad about getting them done and wasting their time.

Sammy

 

[BlueOrange]

I don't know what to feel as I have always thought I was just a whimp and needed to toughen up. Have any of you thought it was in your head and you were just making it up somehow ? Or didn't want to be a pain and ask for help like me.

For me, what's unusual is having pain or difficulty and not believing that the reason is because I'm a wimp and need to toughen up. Early this year (12 years after starting therapy), I started to genuinely believe that I'm not somehow morally faulty for having these problems and these pains. Having your adrenal system activated is tiring, and that's simply a fact. The reality that most of my pain and tiredness is caused in my head doesn't mean that it's not real, physical tiredness and pain. I didn't choose to be this way, despite what some people might think, and I'm actively choosing and working to make it stop. (And that's working.)

And, sometimes, it turns out that there's a physical cause for my physical pain, something I've been ignoring because I assumed it was all in my head. And, just because my pain might be caused in my head, doesn't mean that working another 14-hour day is the right response. That's one of the main ways that my mind causes me pain.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Once, I let a tooth abcess for a week before I went to the dentist because I thought that I was just imagining the pain. He asked me how I wasn't passed out from it. I had no answer, other than the fact that I'm always running a low-grade pain somewhere, so I've come to think of that as normal. Plus, I think I'm so checked out of my body so much of the time that I have trouble understanding the signals it is giving me.

 

[WildMermaid]

@theshadowoftheliving I did that too, and it became a nightmare quickly. It was a nodule in my throat that was abscessed, and now I don't think I could undergo that procedure again it triggered all of my PTSD responses.

My main abuser told me I was faking it when my limbs dislocated, and knees did too. Even after like 6 surgeries he said I was faking it. Yes, you're not alone @Sammyiam and I'm very glad you're getting help. :hug:

 

[Friday]

In my head? No. But others have. High pain tolerance, ironically, has made others think I'm whining or making a big deal over nothing. When come to find, it's usually broken bones I'm wincing over like a bruise. (Gawd... Are you still limping over that stupid twisted ankle??? ... Offset broken tibia. /// OMFG, will you just breathe like a normal person??? 4 broken ribs, 1 compound. /// Dammit! I said to hold this steady.... 8 fractures in 4 bones in my hand). Et cetera.

In fact, I just found a whole new bone I'd never known I'd broken (Inthought that smack to the face hurt more than it should!!! Ha! Not such a wimp, afterall) this year. Sometimes my body is like a treasure hunt.

My poor doctor... He's used to me waiting a few weeks to come in (I wanted to see if it would self resolve!) for ER worthy injuries. The thing is, I just don't know they're that bad. Generally, however, I've found if something still hurt 2-3 weeks after I did it... I need to be seen. Probably 2-3 weeks earlier. But there's very little difference in feeling between a bump and a broken bone. So I wait. And then I tend to forget about it. Until I'm annoying someone with my bubble-breathing, or not being able to hold something steady, or whatever. Sigh. Okay, fine, I'll see the doctor tomorrow.

 

[Sandstone]

All the time. I've no idea how to decide if it is real or not. Like you I had shoulder pain, which only got acted on because I had an assessment for another condition. I was surprised to see clear problems on the scan. Yet even after that I still thought I must be over-exaggerating the condition, and shied away from reporting that the pain was worsening again after the first round of treatment wore off.

Now I have the same sort of "probably a pain ,but i might be imagining it" in the other shoulder" Not a chance I'll take it to the doctor.

I link it to the injured back, and the injured foot as a child - both times at school, both times I was told I was making a fuss, both times it needed hospital treatment. It's one thing for home not to recognise my needs as a child, but clearly I was giving out some sort of message of being untrustworthy at school.

 

[Sammyiam]

@FridayJones I had to laugh when I read your thread, when I went to America a few years ago I feel over. They had a plastic mat over a drain and when I stepped on it my ankles twisted I got up went to the table ate tea and everyone was like are you ok. I said I wouldn't mind some ice if that's ok ?

The next few days I drove across two states and my daughter went on and on as she thought they looked bad, I said I'm fine. Finally I walked into a hospital and they said :

Welcome I said hi, they said where are you from and what's wrong ?

I said I'm from New Zealand I've broken my ankles.

They said oh yes would you like a wheel chair ?

I said na I'm fine, walked down to the X-Ray machine and when they started to look at the X-Rays they said they are broken.

Maybe it's a Ptsd thing not to feel pain ?

Oh a childhood sexual abuse thing ?

 

[Sammyiam]

Everyone so far has very similar story's of just not feeling pain to the degree we should ?

I wonder if it's a common thing for everyone on here ?

 

[BlueOrange]

I feel the pain, I just got told so many times to stop complaining, that I thought it was a sign of weakness. So I conditioned myself to push through it. (No real physical or sexual abuse in my history.)

 

[joeylittle]

not feeling pain to the degree we should ?

I'm a little more like @BlueOrange - I'm sure I'm feeling it (except for where I have nerve damage), but I have a strong ability to tolerate it, or put it in the background, I'm not quite sure which. Whenever it's time to do pain-rating (you know, zero being none and ten being the worst ever) I usually just explain that I have a high tolerance, and that my sense of a five is probably someone else's ten, so they should only use my scale for determining painkillers, not damage. I was a five when I broke my knee - I was actually surprised I had a break, it really didn't seem that bad.

Because I know I tolerate it, I try and be smarter about recognizing when my body is asking me to do something about something, because otherwise I will just ignore it.

 

[WildMermaid]

Pretty sure I broke my hand in Cali. on our last trip, and keep dropping anything put in it, and it doesn't work quite right now but did I get x-rays no. lol. I went in because I had whooping cough, I refuse to go back for more attention from my Dr. who told me I needed an x-ray. :oops: I think we become so used to pain when we've already got PTSD that it doesn't phase us the same way.

 

[jaccat]

I grew up with a nurse mother and a physically disabled father. I was repeatedly told the pain was in my head, that I was exaggerating, that I was a hypochondriac.

I had a severe, life threatening childhood illness that my family still believe was in my head. Regardless of the fact that I nearly died.
I went to school once with the flu. Collapsed outside my class, couldn't get up off the floor. Thought it was nothing.
A horse stood on my foot when I was sixteen and broke my toe. Only I didn't know it was broken and continued 7 hours of ballet practice a week on it (mostly on pointe). Ignoring the fact that it continued to throb for eighteen months.
For as long as I can remember I have had an issue with my knees. Every few years something happens which causes them to dislocate. I have no proof that's what it is but the sensation is that of them literally coming apart. The first time it happened I was a child. Never told anybody. I worked out if I flick my legs out hard they 'go back in' and the pain goes away in the end.
Six years of eye strain headaches caused by not having a basic operation when I was a child. Never told anybody (funny thing, after I eventually got the operation, when I was in college, my teachers were shocked because I had colour in my face!)
A few years ago my shoulder started to give me trouble. I ignored it for two years until the act of picking up a single sheet of paper became troublesome. By this time my entire right arm was near useless, the muscles pretty wasted. When I eventually went to a specialist she pointed out that my entire arm had 'dropped' and was sitting inches below the left. She didn't understand how I could have tolerated the pain.

I feel the pain, but I'm an expert at ignoring it. When I was younger I discovered that if I told myself the pain was just 'in my head' enough it actually went away. Maybe I was dissociating from it. If it didn't go away I just told myself it was nothing and carried on as normal.