He Violated The Restraining Order

[desiderata310]

He's written a rebuttal that makes me look like the crazy person and had a mutual aquaintence send it to me. Lost about what to do.

 

[Justmehere]

Is the mutual friend an attorney representing him? How was it sent to you?

 

[desiderata310]

Via email.with the intent to send to the judge.

 

[Justmehere]

One of the best ways to refute a legal case is not to defend every little accusation but to use the person's own actions and statements against them. It doesn't surprise me that he is trying to make you look bad, but he is wrong. Especially because he is doing things like trying to contact you, and yet also trying to make you look crazy.

Try to hold your head high and present your case, your requests, as calmly as you can. Let him keep spinning out and proving by his actions HE is the one who has no respect for boundaries. I know - it is so easy to say, but so hard to do.

Also, he is required to send you such documents through an attorney through postal mail. Not via an email of a mutual friend. That is illegal. That shows a deep lack of respect for the authority of the restraining order and the authority of the judge. Keep a list of all actions like this that he does and tell the judge.

 

[desiderata310]

So triggered right now I can't think. <suicidal content removed> I'm afraid to fail. There are people still in the building and they would hear me.

 

[Justmehere]

Please call your therapist now. Right now. Please call a crisis line ASAP.

 

[Justmehere]

Your life is worth fighting for. Please do not let your horrible abuser win by killing yourself. Your kids will be devastated. (I will be devastated too!)

Right now the stress of this case is affecting your ability to think clearly and you think this is the end but it is not. It absolutely is not. I have been through hellish stuff myself and many times I was scared beyond all reason to fail. Please do not give up. It took all I had to keep fighting and not commit suicide myself, but it was very much worth it and one day, you will be so glad you didn't die too.

Please tell your therapist how you are feeling and please reach out to a crisis line to talk this through. It's a very permanent decision, and you can wait to take some time to talk it through your options before you take such drastic measures that WILL absolutely devastate your kids for the rest of their lives.

 

[Fadeaway]

@desiderata310 Please check in, there are people worried about you. I know how hard it is to go through this process. It often feels like it takes more strength than a person could possibly have, but judges have seen this all before, they know abusers will try to make their victims look crazy. You can do this.

Don't let him win! Present that e-mail to the courts. You have all the proof you need right there!

 

[desiderata310]

Therapist talked me down and got me to take medication to knock me out.
I'm still here and still freaked out

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: so glad you are still with us. I'm sorry you are still freaked out.

 

[silkleaves]

I don't mean to be nosey, but what has happened to desiderata's account? Was it because of this thread and that some thoughts had to be edited out? More than anything, just wondering for future reference... I mean, when I hit a low like that, I will fold up and likely wont express it to anyone anyway. But just concerned...and hoping that she is okay.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@silkleaves She was temp banned for suicidal posting which is not allowed on this forum.