Homeschool Mom Hanging On

[angel2write]

I found this forum last night and enjoyed reading a lot of your posts. Kind of a "Wow! These are my people!" moment.

I'm married to a gentle, caring guy (13 years) and we have four great kids. I've struggled with craziness from the time I was six. But in the last few months it's gotten so much worse. Supressed memories breaking through, crying jags, a few screaming jags, wandering around Wal-mart screaming at myself like a crazy bag lady, crying in the car and trying not to think about deliberately crashing into the bridge railings...

But I have decided that this is not going to beat me. I will cede no ground. I'm going back into counseling, and this time I think I'm going to say yes to the meds. It's scary, but I think it's time. And this time I'm not going to take the first person I interview. I'm going to be picky and find a therapist who actually has experience treating childhood sexual abuse trauma. No more mis-diagnoses, no more being accused of lying or trying to explain myself to someone who really doesn't understand what a flash back is and thinks I'm schizophrenic!!!

So anyhow, this is me. Almost middle-aged, a little overweight (does mint chocolate chip ice cream count as a psychotropic drug??), loving, sometimes with-it and sometimes not, and hanging on for my family. And maybe a little bit for myself. There has to be better stuff out there, and I'm going to go looking for it. (Wow! You can tell I'm feeling positive this morning!)

 

[amethist]

Hi angel

Welcome to the forum.

You have defiantly found a good place for help and support, with everything.

Go find a good therapist who can help you move forward, one who understands all you have been through. They are out there. If you need the medication, then take that too, many have said no at first, then excepted that this was the way forward to a better peace of mind.

My husband was completely a no meds man, until PTSD invaded our lives, he knows he needs it now, and is thankful he was eventually listened to.

Mint choc chip ice cream a psychotropic drug ?, who cares eat it any way. :D

If your husband needs support and answers, we can be here for him too.

Take care and keep searching for that therapist.

Amethist

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Welcome Angel2Write!

You're going to fit right in here, with us! :D

I'm very glad that you found us and you're looking for a good therapist!
Definitely go for one who is a Trauma therapist.

And in the meantime (as I munch a Dove Dark Chocolate bar), enjoy the Mint Chocolate Ice Cream (my fav.) :D

I hope you soon feel very much at home.
The people are great; warm, compassionate, caring and there are a lot of helpful resources here.

Welcome!
Warmly,
Deer

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi Angel

Welcome to the forum

I'm loving the positive attitude - great stuff.

You would be very welcome to join us on Survive Sexual Abuse Forum (SSA) too, if it could be of benefit. The link is just below this sentence!

 

[anni]

Hi Angel,

'Chubby Hubby', the one Ben and Jerry's makes, definitly qualifies, have you tried it? Pretzels and chocolate- yum. :)

You do sound so positive it's kind of a lovely thing to read your post, even though trauma and pain brings you here. I also remember the relief felt when bumping into this place- and a few tears with the first replies I got.

Your therapist search sounds wildly familiar also, whew! When you've been here and are sort of 'settled', there's a thread which pops up once in awhile, 'Therapists I could do without' I think it's titled. It has both serious and funny content but it's awfully helpful by way of this resolve of yours in knowing the right one is out there for all of us. Yes- you deserve him/her-and all your healing now.

Welcome to the forum, and do take care.

Anni

 

[katiejane]

Hi Angel :)

I am a homeschooling mummy too. I have 3 kids. My husband has PTSD and is currently getting treatment after many years of avoiding it. I wish you all the very best. Fight hard to get the right therapist. It has made such a difference to my husband having someone who knows what they are doing in regards to PTSD.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Welcome ((((((((Angel2Write))))))))

I'd eat tons of ice cream if I could...enjoy it and don't let anyone try to make you feel guilty!

Hope you find lots of hope, support, and healing here!

 

[suzie q]

Hello Angel2Write!! Welcome to the Forum..

Just wanted to say how refreshing it is to read someone's introduction like yours!! I know it is a scary and sometimes panicky feeling to reach out to unknown places and try to explain your feelings. You have done a wonderful job of letting us know that you know you are suffering yet will put forth the courage to find your therapy and answers on your own. I truly believe that this attitude is where the healing will begin!!!

There is a lot of great information on PTSD here, and it seems to be a good combination of symptoms with tried and true methods of how to handle them from all over the world. (not just the country you are living in). You, in my humble opinion (IMHO), are doing your research for not only you, but your family and that, to me, is highly brave and commendable, if not, healing for you. There are so many of us out there that have common life situations and experiences that I know this will be a great place for you to ask any questions you might have.

Thanks for being so positive in the beginning of your journey. I think you will find that this way of thinking will take you far in your healing process.

See ya around the forum...suzie q

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum Angle2 ... rooting and encouraging you to find the right therapist who is fully trained and experienced with the sexual abuse issues. I used to be a very no meds philosopher, but with the PTSD, I saw the difference it made. So for me it was the therapist, the psychologist and the psychiatrist who were all getting together with my family doctor to get me back on track. I've got 25% improvement ... just enough to take care of myself and my everyday life.

Lots of patience ... but have to admit the chocolate helps developpe the patience

so you got another vote for your chocolate mint ice cream

 

[angel2write]

I felt really vulnerable after I posted for the first time and hid for a few days to get my courage back. What a pleasure to see all the encouraging responses. I'm really overwhelmed. Thanks!

 

[anthony]

Welcome to the forum angel2write...

 

[blueangel371115]

welcome, we have spoken since you posted but I wanted to say welcome and I also am a ice cream junkie, I like Phish Food. I also drink a lot of sprite. They are soothing somehow.