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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

I've been staying up later and later, so that when I try to go to bed I might sleep better. I'm in and out of my room , smoking back in the bedroom up again with anxiety and worried about having dreams. I have them but can't remember them always, except when I wake up coming out of one.. in which I'm shaking and telling myself it was just a dream but the feeling are so real.. like the trauma feelings. This makes my day tough. For all of us suffering with this, i so wish it wasn't so. Lets hope for a better night.
 
I didn't sleep too well last night. My mind wouldn't shut off. It just kept going over and over all the things that have happened in the last month or two which I have felt on a much deeper level.

I'm trying to tell myself, that like the encounter with my neighbor lady, was meant to be, in order for me to feel and heal from living next door to her. Even the realtor guy and his comments and then yesterday with my brother and the conversation we had.
 
I slept good last night but had a very terrible nightmare that I can remember sort of. I am trying to shake it off. I do not understand when my life is so much better that I am getting nightmares again. I made a therapy appointment for myself next month for a tune up and sort out the things that are bothering me in my daily life. It was a dreadful nightmare and I hate them.
 
I have been sleeping on the couch in front of the TV for about 7 years now, ever since I had my very first experience with horrible insomnia. I remember one night lying in the total dark in the bedroom, feeling "wired" inside, racing thoughts, anxious, unable to sleep. And I could not fall asleep all night long. And it scared me terribly. I'd never had insomnia before.......and lying in bed hour after miserable hour in the total darkness was a nightmare all its own.

Ever since then, I have to have the TV on. Lying in total darkness in a bedroom makes my insomnia worse. I know it's not really healthy as a sleeping pattern, but it is the way I've learned to fall asleep now. I also get up 1-3 times a night to pee......sigh. I wonder what a full night of sleep would feel like.
 

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