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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

The nightmare from hell.

Bad men broke into my house and injected me with something that left me permanently paralysed. And I could speak to tell anyone what happened.
 
I went to acupuncture so I had one long sleep finally after 6 nights of horrible insomnia, but tonight I'm totally anxious again and worried. I want to take a xanax but worry that it will have interactions with the prilosec I took after dinner.
 
I actually had two nights without nightmares, and without waking up with panic attacks. I so needed that sleep. Triggered again. It took since mid December to get back to no nightmares and no panic attacks - and then then triggered again - but I got there before so I can do it again.
 
I had a strange nightmare that Michelle Tanner from Full House was abused by a McDonald's delivery person. It was triggering because it reminded me of my own abuse.
 
I dreamt that I was some kind of care worker on an out call to a military school to check on a little girl. The girl was happy and my partner and I were about to leave. Then an old employee of mine (who in real life graduated from this school) slipped into the car and asked me, "Why do we always come to you when we have a problem?" I knew he had done something bad. I asked if he needed my number so he could talk to me. He nodded, looked down. I went for my purse to write it down. The dream ended.

The old employee was a young man who was always a problem for me- a bad hire. I felt guilty the whole time he worked for me. Years later I still look back on mistakes I made with him and wish I did a better job. I woke up feeling very disturbed. In the dream his face was very clear, in exact detail, like he was really right in front of me. In some ways he made me think of my son.
 
For while I was finding it hard to get up in the mornings and was sleeping too much. Last night, that changed and I woke up too early and could not go back to sleep. I am finding it hard to reach that sweet spot, sleeping the whole 8 hours, not a lot less and not a lot more. I guess that is just hard to do when you have so many things wrong with you, both physical and mental. Oh well....
 
Disturbing nightmare, I had a guys head in my bed with me. His face came on the news and said he was missing, presumed dead. I knew I hadn't killed him and was trying to get rid of his head then. Horrible! :eek: I suppose it means something in my life that went wrong, wasn't my fault and I just want it done with. Like, ex I just left - stay the hell away from me - for good.
 
I am back to 4:00 am sleep to 14:00 pm. :eek: for the last two weeks. I tend to avoid mornings. Even the melatonyn it is not working. My sleep it is full of messy and trauma related stuff. Dream a lot with the people I have meet in my whole life, from childhood to adulthood. I suffered from sleep deprivation for a decade, so sleep and timing are still an issue. I wake up confused and in a defense mood most of the days. I try to not worry much about it. It takes time, if it happens may be in a future. I don't know :oops:
 

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