Two nights in a row of bad nightmares.:mad: Sunday night I dreamed my mother was force feeding me (probably from posting a reply here that involved that) unpalatable things as an adult. I was trying to get them out of my mouth and "resisting" with negative mean words so as a punishment she was cutting my tongue out. Even though I was an adult in the dream she still had me tied in the chair (as she did in reality) so I couldn't stop her. It was excrutiating. When I woke up I must have been biting my tongue or something because it was SO sore and still is 2 days later.
Last night I had a nightmare about my recently ex-husband. In "real" life he is on another he is on another sex addiction trip overseas (long, disgusting story). I dreamed about finding out that he was charging some of the "expenses" of the trip on the credit cards that he had opened in my name without my permission. He did open these cards in reality and was court ordered to not charge on them and to pay them off in full--doesn't matter he has totally ruined my credit--I cant' even open a checking account! Anyway, in the dream he was charging on the ones that are in my name which is in violation of the court order and so I, with my lawyer, was finally going to be able to get him punished in some way for all he has done to me by having him thrown in jail for contempt of court and lose his license because of the conviction.
Woke up feeling the same hurt, misery, agony, regret, sadness, resentment over what I let him do to me and the kids for so many years. Always letting him convince me that what I thought was going on wasn't and that I was an absolute lunatic for the things I made up that I "thought" were happening. I wasted my life on an addict. Denial can really backfire on you sometimes.:(:cry:
