How do you manage helplessness and hopelessness of complex trauma

ms spock

Sponsor
Thanks @Lola Nocheprieta it means a lot. Very tired. Stepping out again -but slipping back into emotional flashbacks and at times flashbacks to being there with my parents - but much less now. Improving a lot. Not easy. Finding it very hard and difficult. Struggling with it all, but still moving forward.
 

ms spock

Sponsor
I have been doing better overall with this but I really am not doing well with this this week. I needed to have broken down things a bit more and not just drifted into comfort eating.
 

Emmax

New Here
Surrounding yourself whit supportive people that will put you in space where you can override their trauma. Find people that has also been traumatized because I think those are only people that you will trust in.
 

ms spock

Sponsor
Thanks @Lola Nocheprieta I feel very unheard at times, about things that are important to me.

I am ruminating about feeling hopeless and helpless. I feel like shouting at people or lashing out at people is the only way to be heard - that is what I saw in my family - so I am finding saying no to people or setting boundaries really scarey for me to think about. But there are other ways of communicating with other human beings - it is doable. I am slipping into helplessness and hopelessness quite a lot at the moment.

I found this on the dbtselfhelp website Friends

So it is doable - people all around the planet manage to say no and not be beaten up or horrendously violated because they had a different opinion or way of thinking about things. That is my family. It is not now.

From dbtselfhelp: Guilt
I'm sorry I don't have a "quicker fix" idea to overcoming feeling guilty. But I've learned in my years of therapy, there are very few silver bullets out there. For the most part, it's a process of:


1. becoming aware of the issue


2. finding the strength and willingness to deal with the issue


3. learning helpful "re-conditioning" skills that work for the particular moment


4. practicing the skills and persevering


5. over a period of time, gradually becoming aware that the issue is diminishing.
 
Last edited:
It's good when you stick up for yourself, Ms Spock! I think, people just have different ideas, but we care about you. What I might erroneously interpret as you being too harsh on yourself, you corrected as something you see as vitally important to your well-being. Your idea of "balance" and "self-compassion" might look very different from mine, and it is not my place to impose my views on you, only to be honest as a friend. I don't take offense when you shout out a correction so that you are heard! You survived a terribly horrendous family, and it feels very invalidating when your MyPTSD friends contradict what you feel you need, or what you are saying, or don't seem to hear you. I SEE you, Ms Spock! I HEAR you! And you are still safe with me. I am proud of you for shouting out your correction, for I have no wish to invalidate your experience or what you need to do for your healing. I am your friend and student, Ms Spock, endlessly impressed by your persistence and stamina.

I am sorry to hear you are slipping back into feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. How can I help? Can I put my arm around you and just sit next to you in solidarity?
 
Top