Relationship I Got Kicked Off The Roller Coaster ~ Venting A Bit

[dms]

It's a mental and emotional ride from h*ll somedays but others he makes me smile and feel like a princess.

I so understand your pain sisu!!

 

[sisu]

Update~
We talked in person and he is a mental mess right now. I asked him if he would consider more counseling......he said that counseling doesn't work on him. What?!? Not the right answer. He just wants to see the psychiatrist every 3 months and take his meds - he doesn't want to do the real work. And he wonders why his life is crumbling around him. It makes me so sad and mad all at the same time.

His words tell me he is done with "us", but he had a very hard time leaving me and his actions were very loving and kind which was betraying his words. I am conflicted but right now I am done too. I cannot ride the roller-coaster anymore. I wish he could see the good things that I see and I wish he was open to more counseling. He feels he is protecting me from him. And he feels he needs to spend more time with his kids - but after 3 years I am close to his kids too and he is taking me out of their lives. I love this man so much - but this time love isn't enough. He has to want to get better and he just doesn't. He has been diagnosed with PTSD for at least 10 years - but he still won't embrace his healing.

Maybe one day he will decide enough is enough and get more counseling. Who knows. :cry:

 

[Court]

Sisu,

I'm very sorry I'm in a very familiar place right now with my husband. I have to wait for October for him to return home though to even consider what is truly going to happen. But like you I feel done. I'm tired and emotionally drained.

I wish you the best and I hope he will truly get help when he is ready. Best wishes to you!

Court

 

[sisu]

I am reading this funny book right now called, "Maybe He's Just An Asshole". I downloaded it on my kindle because I needed some humor about my break-up. I'm trying to move on with my life and I am having a hard time because I had very little say so in the decision to break-up. He did talk to me in person - but like a lot of you on here - we were totally fine one day and the next day he wanted to break-up (after 3 years together!). So I was feeling a little confused about the whole thing - in a normal adult relationship there are signs and possible discussions about the impending break-up or issues one party might be having. In my case it was I love you and the next day, suprise I want to break up.

So, back to the book - it is really funny but it has some really good points that I hadn't really thought about before. We had boundaries and such, but I know I gave him a break on behavior a lot due to his PTSD. This book makes you think about what you deserve and what you actually are getting from this person who supposedly loves you. I'm not talking about gifts, dining out or anything other than his behavior/kindness towards me. When I took a good look at my relationship with my now ex-boyfriend, I realized that he really is quite a selfish man. He wasn't 100% awful and there were times when as very nice and kind to me. But then again, maybe he is just an asshole.

I'm thankful for this forum and I learned a lot while I was here. I am stronger now and I am hopeful that all of the struggling supporters will see their worth too. No one deserves to be on the receiving end of anything negative, especially when you are only doing kind and supportive things to them.

Take care,
Sisu

 

[monicaelise]

I'm not talking about gifts, dining out or anything other than his behavior/kindness towards me. When I took a good look at my relationship with my now ex-boyfriend, I realized that he really is quite a selfish man. He wasn't 100% awful and there were times when as very nice and kind to me. But then again, maybe he is just an asshole.

I'm thankful for this forum and I learned a lot while I was here. I am stronger now and I am hopeful that all of the struggling supporters will see their worth too. No one deserves to be on the receiving end of anything negative, especially when you are only doing kind and supportive things to them.

Amen sister! Wish I could like your post a million more times. PTSD or not, there's a point when you just have to ask yourself whether you want all the b.s. in your life.

 

[Becksknox]

I'm in this same thing now and he is constantly coming to me for support but very quick to remind me we aren't together. He finally admitted he needed help and is seeking it. It was too much this time and I broke it off. I told him I needed space to heal. A dear friend jus,t explained as I was full of guilt over it that I didn't desert him, he deserted me. Best of luck as I know exactly what you are experiencing right now.