I Realize That I

[Tanishq]

I realize that it is good to do gratitude practice everyday. Just feels right to do. :)

 

[The Albatross]

I realize that it is my habit now to "get out of my own way" and get on with my day. It has taken a long time for me to figure out and manage consistently how to do that. I still have indecision, an occasional blank mind, a freeze here or there, some confusion and even clumsiness... but it's better than it was provided I manage to do my self care.

 

[intothelight]

Always have choices....

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize that I may always hate groups. Some people seem to thrive in them, like my sister or stepmother, but I just hate them. Doesn't even have to be big. Anxiety to the max.

 

[Tinyflame]

I realize that maybe if we thought it was our fault, or we were in the way , etc etc as kids, that that is why we may feel that way as adults?

 

[Tinyflame]

And maybe it's ok to just be going in the right direction, maybe some stuff is too much to sink in/ learn right now. I don't have to figure out or understand everything or 'try harder' to fix it, like I always did (try to).

 

[Tinyflame]

I realize why, if I were a millionaire, I would have wanted to open an orphanage. To provide what wasn't there.

I realize what I see in children is normal. I learned to hide that mostly early, regardless of what was occurring, but my internal climate stayed the same. Panic & fear & necessary self-reliance & hiding it. It aptly describes it, actually.

I realize the neglect & stuff came because the 2 oldest siblings 'stuck with me' -? were likely drinking (said so), the other drugs/ guys etc. No desire for watching out for a kid. Not sure if it was expected or they 'volunteered' or were asked to. Anyway, that's simply what was happening. I didn't tell.

When there's heavy drinking/ anger here it's both eggshells+frightening+overwhelming in some ways, at some level. Sad, scary, depressing, uncertain, hopeless feeling.

I realize sometimes I'm just tired & want to put it all down, the necessity for hypervigilance, for a moment. A wish that someone else could take the watch or 'post' just for a moment, though that's especially not possible, since the hypervigilance & fear & feeling of threat is in my own head (and body).

 

[Tinyflame]

I realize that I don't 'not have' an inner child but rather they are are seamless (child/ adult), because my 'inner child' conducted 'her(it?)self' more grown up than the adults, sometimes. Least that explains why I feel like or am the World's Biggest Child-(Woman). I doubt I could change that, it is 'me'. :sorry:

I realize the sole difference between childhood & adulthood can be perception, or the realization of the possibility of solutions. Children don't (can't) think of solutions, or the possibility of solutions. Just short-term solutions.They are alone with it.

 

[Tanishq]

I realize why, if I were a millionaire, I would have wanted to open an orphanage. To provide what wasn't there.

Excuse me Junebug, may I share my thoughts with you? I do have the same desire. You know you don't need to be millionaire to support this cause of helping orphan people. Right now we can send them prosperous thoughts, one day we will have the money to share with them and we will make it happen. Does this make sense to you? :)

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh @Tanishq I have for a while & do, in a very small way, bigger isn't an option.

Anyway, I talked too much, it's an unfair comparison.

But thank you. :hug:

 

[Tanishq]

@Junebug Believe me you are fine. :)

Back to the thread:

I realize that I have all the things I need.

 

[Lionheart]

I realize that I may have hurt someone out of ignorance and I may need to make amends to them.