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I Realize That I

I realize that I equate not worrying to (myself) being in denial.

I realize I can't even imagine (any) future (whether it be minutes, days, months or years) as being anything but bad & terrifyingly horrific. I suspect because it has been (has occurred), I expect it to 'jump out at me' at any time. I realize I have no understanding at all of how others are able to not think of or 'feel' about the future that way.
 
Thank you @Tanishq , @Recovery4Me . :hug: :inlove: :hug:

I realize that, maybe defying ptsd requires a giant leap of faith: to believe when we "shouldn't" , hope when we can't, trust (others too) when it's difficult or frightening or seems such a risk, be peacefully optimistic about our abilities to manage the future, or be hopeful that the future can be even joyful & peaceful & safe- that we can be so in the present too.
 
I realize that this year might become better than the last one. ...I have a person who loves me and who is willing to move in the same house with me.

I realize that I don't want to wake up alone anymore.

I realize that my family will help me when I will move from my current flat.

And I realize that my sister and her boyfriend are absolutely cute. (I went to their place yesterday and we really had a lot of fun.:) )
 
I realize long term severe pain (physical) really makes SI more likely. :(

I realize a lot I can't remember when the SI was the worst, (but then again I'm still here); I found a paper from before Christmas 2009 where I had written down for help someone's words that I heard, it said, "Just you wait. Where there is life there is hope. Trust & hope. Life is sacred. Have faith, hope, but especially trust." :notworthy: :wideeyed:

Hugs for all. :hug:
 

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