I was just fired and a complete mess!

[lostforgottensoul]

usually an LLC (limited liability corporation) in the US.

Yeah, thats what I was thinking. But didnt realize I could create a business without something like that.

I haul livestock for people sometimes. They pay me. I don't report it.

I think we all do that lol. Thats what I was doing before. Cash only transactions or cash as much as possible. I dont know if thats fully necessary but makes it less traceable. My mechanic is the same way, cash only.

@Netsy , thank you!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I won't be able to receive unemployement. I am still trying to file. It gave me an error online so now I have wait for their center to call me back in an hour but their terms is lost a job due to no fault of your own, preformance is not counted. They have on my termination letter that I was terminated due to conduct. Theres no way I will be approved for unemployment. Which is one of the main reasons why I am saying conduct issues are huge.

Can't get my 401K for weeks. I am such as stressed out mess!

I need to update my Resume before I start applying for jobs but plan to do so today. Got up at 9am to get this shit done. Rent is paid so thats good.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Filed for unemployement anyway. They now call it "reemployment assistence program". It says

Your Reemployment Assistance Program (RAP)claim has been submitted.

• Time and date submitted: 5/1/2017 2:13:20 PM

But then says it wont be complete until I fill out full registration and goves me this link to an employement assistence thing which wont take my info.

I know I have to put in 5 jobs a week that i applied to. Or that i say I applied to. But it also says i habe to request assistence every 2 weeks. That sucks.

I doubt they will approve it. I said on there that i didnt know about the policy but still you cant get it if you were fired for a conduct issue. I can appeal it and request a hearing and the company likely wont want to fight it but still.

 

[Heather]

Lost, I am sorry to hear about your situation.

Whatever you decide to do know that I'm in your corner and thinking of you.

Hugs,

Heather

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I think I am some sort of depression. The exhaustion is familiar but I just cannot seem to pull myself up and out. I was able to for my dog's training and now that doesn't seem to be enough to fight the exhaustion and weakness I feel.

I don't know what this is but I need to pull myself out of it as I need to update my resume, apply for jobs, go to walmart for business clothes (without Chopper) and go on any interviews. I mean I have a shit ton I need to do but going to get milk was too much for me today. How the f*ck do people get it together like quickly? Should I try to stuff and then I can kinda make it til I break it?

Whatever this is, it sucks. I keep thinking, while watching shows on the DVR "OMG this was.recorded when I was still employed." And every day "I can't believe I don't have a job.to go.to." I've lost jobs before. I don't know what makes this one so much harder.

 

[Heather]

You've had a big incident happen its understandable you feel knocked on your ass.

What I do...just a suggestion because 99% of the time I don't want to...I drag my butt and I do what i need to do to get it done.

Do I feel better afterwards? Sometimes... But I push myself and things are slowly changing for the better.

If I can do it..so can you...just do it.
I sound like a Nike commercial.

:hug: lost

 

[lostforgottensoul]

...I drag my butt and I do what i need to do to get it done.

I usually do. I can't push past this. I try and end up so dizzy and nausious I have to sit down and then end up falling asleep. I try to stay awake and job search on my phone and fall asleep. I try to sit at the desktop and fall asleep on the keyboard. I try to go back through the DBT workbook and end up falling asleep.

My therapist is tomorrow so hopefully I can get some advice there as this sucks!

My dad is looking for places like mad in my hometown (which I will never step foot back into). Its about a 4 hr drive. And he is looking like mad today for Oct. Why look right now? f*ck him then! I will use whats left of my 401K and buy a better car and just do this alone. Not sure why he needs to look like mad today for something 6 months from now but our relationship is so fractured that if he isnt local, I doubt I will see him again. I certianly am not going back to that town to see him. Just going back there on google earth in therapy proved too much. I aint doing that outside of therapy. And i have told him this but yet he is looking to move there anyway, which speaks volumes. He doesnt believe me and will never believe me and now thinks making fun of my body crashing is funny. Which it isnt!

So, will get as good of a job as I can. Buy as good of a car as I can with the 401K rather then reinvesting it back into retirement. Apparently the paying for the certifications are still a go per my step mom. Will self teach as fast as I can and will find a small one bedroom or a trailer for cheaper rent for Oct when my lease is up. I have always taken care of myself by myself before my accident so will do that again, even if that means push myself too far. What ever.

Right now I need to figure out how to push myself out of this crash. Its ridiculous!

 

[Heather]

You're doing everything you can be proud of yourself

Go easy on yourself..take breaks as needed.

I'm rooting for you my friend:tup::hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thank you @Heather! :hug:

I wish just one damn person in real life could be at least a little supportive! My step mom came in here, going against what my therapist asked of her, and told me a bunch of shit the family is saying. My therapist asked her to keep that to herself. That I didnt need to hear it. But she tells me anyway. Which makes this crash worse it seems. It seems to be an emotional overload I think but one I cant seem to fight and that frustrates me!

 

[Heather]

Family.. They do have a way of making it worse don't they!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yes they do @Heather, yes they do#

 

[joeylittle]

Is there anything your father could do, that you would feel good about?