Is Anyone Out There An "empath"?

[atthree]

I grew up without knowing I had PTSD and I can't remember how many times I was told," Your looking into this to deep.."

I just shut down and let them have there space. They are smart enough to figure it out for themselves and I'm not into debating there issues.

PS: My eyes welled up, we do make this world a better place

 

[Seasounds]

Glad to join the club, in all the ways that everyone has mentioned.
I'm sure my empath skills developed as a survival skill.

when one takes on other people's "energies" or "baggage" or whatever, how do you distinguish if it's yours or theirs?

This is a continual process that I engage. Taking time to myself, where I notice my thoughts and feelings, in isolation, helps. When 'in the moment' with someone, I do a quick check-in with myself: "does this seem like a thought or feeling I've had before, or am I comfortable with this thought or feeling?" It is not always clear.

When I have memories, and then feelings of various sorts attach to the memories, I don't know if I'm making them up, if they're someone else's, or if they're genuinely mine. How do you know what's real?

I always treat my memories, thoughts and feelings, as MY real experience and as My truth, and not as anyone else's. It has always served me. What didn't serve me, was doubting my thoughts and feelings-I didn't want to believe them.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

OMGosh! Yes :( It's definitely a gift and a curse!

100% YES! I am, and always have been an 'empath'! You describe it well, and all the answers above are great coping mechanisms. My T told me it's because at a very early age we learned to 'read the emotional atmosphere' around us.

I'm glad you brought this up. GREAT TOPIC!!!

 

[Echo]

Me, too, though I've learnt many ways to deal with it. Still not there though. Hoping healing the PTSD will sort the rest out!

 

[Sally sue]

Wow! What a helpful conversation :)When I was growing up I was "responsible" (I was told) for others feelings, emotions, for making them better and for my own punishment. As the youngest of three, this always seemed a little weird to me, but that was who I had to be.

On the topic of "making it up", OMgosh! I'm constantly questioning the validity of what I'm feeling and cursing myself for being over dramatic! It's awful! But now that everyone's talking about it, I'm starting to see that I'm human, I feel stuff, and that's okay?!

This quote from earlier in the thread sums it up! " I have a very hard time now, I don't want others to see me emotional. I fear they will think I am crazy or over reacting." I feel the same way, but I think it comes from from the fear if being punished, by being I'm dramatic (invalidating my feelings) or punished for the badness of those feelings argh!

It's a lot to rewrite in our brains!

Earlier I was asked what I got out of "the artists way" workbook...I think the biggest thing right now, is the daily morning writings (it must be handwritten, 3 pages, and in a quiet space in disturbed). You're sitting all alone writing whatever comes to your mind and it's slow enough that you actually have to pay attention to what you're saying ha! This is helping me a lot getting to know what I feel! The funny thing is, I'm still so afraid of hurting others that I have to write some in code ha! The T suggested I write in front a warning to stay out and that if they read it it was their own fault...I was not responsible!

Sally sue

 

[Hope4Now]

I'm so glad so many of you are replying to this thread! It is very helpful. I am very overwhelmed by sensory input both from my current existence, stuck in a sort of emotional bandwidth of the people all around me, and sort of drowning in a lot of sensory memories and a tangled up wash of emotion from the past...bad stuff that I haven't sorted out yet. Have been "meditating" meaning really just lying on the floor and trying to be open to whatever comes up and just observe it. There's A LOT of stuff coming up.

Trying to be empathetic with myself. In fact, this morning I tried to imagine I was another empathic person looking at me to see if I could muster up some self-compassion. Don't know if this is a form of dissociation for self-soothing or a healthy thing to do. I am utterly confused by my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state at the moment. I wish I could download my brain into my therapist's and let him help me make sense of it all. But then when I see him, I have so many things going on in my head at once that I don't even know what to say. I've talked with him about this awkwardness I feel at the beginning of a session and we have created a strategy or two to get started. Okay, now I'm rambling.

daily morning writings

Do you read back over the stuff you've written previously? I keep a journal almost daily, but I never go back to read what I have written. I'm not sure why...I think I am very self-conscious about myself if that's possible.

 

[seedling]

Yes, I identify with this and have known this about myself for a long time. My traumatic event 4 years ago blew it wide open and the PTSD started then.

When I have memories come back to me, the traumatic part of it is based around the extreme feelings of others in the situation with me (my husband and children), I was scorched to the core. I've had the memories come back as things I "saw" in what I think my therapist calls a "secondary memory" way. I "saw" things that weren't physically present to others.

Since that trauma, I've been dealing with the negative voices from my childhood - mostly my mom's. She seems to be afraid of emotions. I got the message that I was not OK the way I was, I had to adapt to be like her and hide myself away. This self is coming out now.

Before the PTSD I'd retained a bit of who I really was. I give massage and it's come to me naturally in my life, I've always been able to understand others and am someone people open up to. Also have been aware that I take in others' emotions. It's much more intense now, stronger as I find out who I am. I'm becoming more aware of who I am and am trying to stop ignoring my perceptions.

As I heal now I've started to color and have a vivid internal world where the separated parts of me act out my recovery. It helps to color the memories as they surface. The pictures I make have snippets of sentences/phrases around the edge that bear meaning on the theme and contain some part of an actual event.

One of my brothers is the same way, we were close when we were young. We agreed when we were in our 20's that it was like we were radios and could tune people in.

I'm learning how to live with others' pain and draw boundaries now. I have more and more of the feelings of peace and connectedness now and am choosing who I am around and who/what I let into my life. Telling myself that this is what I deserve, I don't have to be so "tough."

I'm working on believing that I have a place in this world.

 

[seedling]

I am utterly confused by my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state at the moment.

I get that

 

[Sally sue]

Wow seedling, we have very similar young life experiences! I'm sorry you had to endure that :( it is soooo hard when we are taught that emotions are not okay for us to have, that's probably why it's so hard to know what mine are, I have completely disconnected with them! I actually did that as a child, I became someone else...this seemed to freak my mom out enough to stop her from punishing me, so I became this other child more and more, Sally sue. Finally, my mom told me no one wanted Sally sue or loved her and she could live at our house anymore (and got rid of the wig I used to wear when I was her)
:( the T thinks that's when I disconnected with my emotions...locked them away cause they were bad and unlovable...boy, that's sad!

Sally sue

 

[ggsparky]

I'm an empath too. I had no idea that was what it was called tho. I laughing at the different names they are Coming up with for this gift. It use to be an intuitive person, or Sensitive person. Either way it's due most likely from having to be the mother and provider for my mom emotionally. I think it's a great gift. It helped me have a lot of friends and still do. But just like with any gift there's a weakness and u just kinda have to drawl a line. I remember I was in a crowd and could feel everyone's anger so badly that I had to run away before I started hitting people and sometimes I end up suffering more then the person who was confiding in me about there problems due to always feeling like I have to do something to make them happy. I just had to realize I'm only human and I'm not super woman

 

[Hope4Now]

@Sally sue my alternat person was "Jimmy John" also completely rejected after first freaking out my parents, then they laughed at it, then they shamed me for it, then they shut it down. Your post doesn't begin to convey how deadly hurtful it must have been to be abandoned twice.

 

[Justmehere]

What an interesting thread! Thanks for starting it! I am so much this way... it feels like something I can use for good purposes or just get overwhelmed by.