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Undiagnosed Is it PTSD? Or am I deluding myself? - How often/strong PTSD symptoms?

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I think what he or she meant was that within those defined trauma types, how an individual perceives the threat and reacts is highly variable. What is an trauma for one, might be none for another. What >feels< life-threatening to one is really scary but not to the point of fearing for one's life for another.

Many other experiences can be as subjectively traumatic as Criteria A trauma. But they do not cause PTSD, because they are processed in other parts of your brain. They may well lead to other mental illnesses - PTSD is not the only mental illness that can be caused by traumatic experience.

I'm interested what other mental illnesses may stem from trauma. Depression for sure. GAD? Panic Disorder?

I, for example, can pinpoint my over the top fear of something happening to one of my loved ones whenever they're taking the car to one very specific instance, which does not fit the PTSD criteria as it wasn't a real event (which in itself is quiet embarrassing that I react so strongly to something fictional ? I hope neither of you takes that the wrong way or as an insult, because I'm REALLY struggling with this to the point of some anxiety/PTSD symptoms such as nightmares, anxiety attacks etc.)

I just today learned that PTSD shows up in brain scans. I knew that people with GAD have different chemical balances and changes in the Amygdala, but didn't know this part for PTSD. As a scientists, I find this intriguing and a very important information in the fight against stigma ("It's all in your head", "you just have to snap out of it", ...). Eerily fascinating.
 
I just today learned that PTSD shows up in brain scans
It doesn’t. It was big news several years ago when they thought it might. It was proved pretty conclusively that it not only doesn’t, but that the areas the researchers were looking at both lit up in people with no trauma history much less PTSD, but also in people with PTSD might be lit up this month, but not next month, & vice versa not lit up at all.

That the eedjit who conned Ariana Grande has gotten this Bad Science Into the news cycle again has serious researchers all banging their head against brick walls.

Steve McQueen made coffee enemas as a cure for cancer pretty popular, for awhile. Granted, he still died of mesothelioma, and coffee enemas have zero effect on cancer. But celebrity endorsements will always turn peoples’ heads. What you want in medicine isn’t celebrity endorsement but Peer Review / expert endorsement.
 
@Friday thank you VERY much for the clarification! I have to admit I saw the headline, clicked on it and scanned it (saw the images), but didn't have time to fact-check, yet.

That being said, as a scientist, I think it's interesting that we can't find anything physical linked to most mental illnesses (though I do vaguely recall an image with brain scans with all various mental illnesses and different activities of the brain...that's been more than just a few years, but again, not fact-checked by me, mea culpa). It makes it so much harder to fight stigma, unfortunately.
 
That being said, as a scientist, I think it's interesting that we can't find anything physical linked to most mental illnesses
It’s just germ theory before microscopes, is all.

The tools we have for studying the brain are like trying to tell the difference between a bacteria, virus, retrovirus, amoebae, and spore... with a magnifying glass. Ain’t gonna happen. No matter how much we can infer that microbes exist, and that there are different types of microbes, we need better toys if we want to see them. A microscope, ideally an electron microscope, hell even just some blood agar agar and a gram stain would helpful. But a magnifying glass? Just ain’t gonna cut it.
 
AWESOME analogy! Thank you!

Seeing how we now have an actual image of a black hole for the first time, ever, after decades, almost a century, of theory, makes me extremely hopeful. Especially since technology advances exponentially these days.
 
Hope by now you are feeling better and the fog is gone or relaxed.
If I could add one or two things:
I wonder why now? What brought up this now since you have been like this for the past 10yrs. Most of your adult life? I wonder how this hot started as soon as you have become an adult.
I wonder if you are planning a family and your childhood issues are triggered... Which weirdly you never mentioned.
I wonder what you are resisting... Defending unable to own.
Who cares diagnosis of you end up managing life better?
It looks like to me you do not want to grow up and take responsibility. And now that you are graduating and must show something, you are panicking and denying. Just like 10 yrs ago, another chapter is turn and you are in panic.
Please do not get me wrong. You are suffering greatly. It could be anything but my feeling is it is something easily treat-able by an intense therapy.
You do not need meds as much as real safe space to bring all of you that you brought here and more and get support, safe and gentle confrontation and let the healing begin.
You will have to be smart and ready to change some serious foundational issues though and ready to accept all you know is nothing.... And start all over again this rodeo.
 
I wonder why now? What brought up this now since you have been like this for the past 10yrs.

Not that I'm a psychologist, but I can tell you why now (or at least what I suspect). Because ever since I graduated college 4.5 years ago and was accepted into the PhD of my dreams, I had hoped that things would FINALLY get better. I truly believed that. As I mentioned (or at least I thought I did at some point), I've been at the point of almost breaking multiple times over the years, but somehow always pulled through. But now, instead of things getting better, slowing down, shit keeps hitting the fan (pardon my french). I have to deal with so many existential issues I have absolutely zero control over (which in itself stresses me immensely - there's that control-thing again)...again...and again...and again...I just can't seem to catch a break. Every single time I let my guard down, try to catch a break, something major happens. I have a shit ton of debt that doesn't stem from overspending. We may or may not lose our home (that we rent and love, which would mean we might have to move for the 5th time in just a couple years). Cars breaking down unexpectedly resulting in just more financial burdens. Animals becoming sick, unexpectedly. My husband being run over while on his bike. My husband being fired completely out of the blue and with absolutely no wrongdoing on his part. Us being in a car accident in February. You know...just normal life challenges ... ?

While I may not have PTSD, I do think the stress cup analogy is really accurate. Many of the things I'm dealing with I've had for years, over a decade, but I guess I've just come to accept them as part of me, as part of life. Somehow normal. Which I'm just now learning they're might not.

Pressure, consistently applied...

I wonder how this hot started as soon as you have become an adult.

Again, I can only speculate, but because I left a very secure and special bubble after graduating high school. I do think I had some symptoms before, but was just better at coping...

I wonder if you are planning a family and your childhood issues are triggered...

No plans.

Which weirdly you never mentioned.

Hu?

And now that you are graduating and must show something, you are panicking and denying. Just like 10 yrs ago, another chapter is turn and you are in panic.

I'm not graduating anytime soon and I don't panic or worry about the future. ??‍♀️

---

I know (or at least hope) you do not mean it like this, but your post comes across as quite condescending, accusing, with an underlaying "you just have to snap out of it".

And I apologize for reacting confrontational, but it hurt. I've heard this so many times over the years, including from people close to me. This is part of the reason why usually I'm suffering in silence, bottle things up, because everytime I do open up, it's being downplayed or directed back at me.

"I haven't said anything for the entire time, just sucked it up, because I didn't want to complain or come across as whiny" - "Well, you're complaining now".

Been there, done that.
 
I've been contemplating over this all day and I still don't know on which parts of my life I need to grow up and for what exactly I need to take responsibility. ?
 
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