General Is veterans day difficult for veterans?

[caligirl03]

I know Memorial Day is hard for vets. I also know Veterans Day is not Memorial Day and is seen as the less somber of the two. That said, is Veterans Day still difficult for vets? I noticed my friend seemed off today when I went with him to a ceremony, then he immediately went for the hard stuff at the BBQ we went to afterwards when it wasn't even noon yet, and kept that pace all afternoon. Now he's being distant and said nothing about the card I left for him in his truck. I can't help but feel like all this "celebration" is really a thin veneer for something else.

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm sitting at home alone because my vet stormed off in a hissy fit. So, yeah. It's bad for Veterans.

Sorry for the sarcasm but he's left me no choice.


Let them deal with it in their own way.

 

[caligirl03]

Ugh now he's texting me saying he doesn't think I give a shit about him. After I spent the whole day with him, got him a card, bought him drinks. WTF?!

 

[LuckiLee]

Yep. I'm in your shoes. ((( hugs)))

 

[Never_falter2]

You mention BBQ. I think BBQ can be also bad for Vets. It has a smell that triggers them.

Somewhere I am not sure if it was on this board or another there was a discussion which the smells were which Vets hated and burned smells like popcorn or BBQ were mentioned quite often.

 

[Snowflakes]

I’m sorry you are hurting. You know I’m a supporter for my wife but I’m also a combat veteran (VietNam).
There was a time when certain days and a lot of things would cause me to relive the memories. A lot of things that over a lot of years and good therapy has softened. But I do understand why your vets are having a bad day and time. Even today I just stayed in the house. Don’t want the free meals and don’t talk much.

While we never forget, I do hope and pray your vets find peace over time. My war was 50 years ago. I don’t conciously think about it but I’m somewhat at peace with myself. Time helped. I pray that time helps your vets. I write this only because I care for all of you supporters with vets who are suffering. I’m grateful they have all of you.

 

[LuckiLee]

Then he should have said he wanted to stay home. It was up to him what we did today. Idk... It was gonna be bad no matter what.

@Snowflakes, she's lucky to have you too.

 

[Snowflakes]

@leehalf I was a first class asshat in those days. I’m not proud of it. It was like I went out of my way to be angry. No wonder my first wife left me after the war. Of course, back then, we didn’t know we had PTSD. Yes, you are correct....it was going to be a bad day no matter what.

It breaks my heart to know today what I did to my first wife a lifetime ago.

Take care all of you :hug:

 

[Freida]

Yes. It sucks. I actually have a post started over there in the military thread ranting about how much I hate it. For me it's a double whammy - its veterans day and an anniversary trauma for me. The crowds are a huge issue, people asking stupid questions (how many people did you kill), remembering the good times and the bad (separate triggers), and so much pressure to interact and be thankful they are noticing me. And not to be a super beotch but its nice you notice me one day out of the year but it would be way nicer if you provided me with the care I need because of that service the rest of the year. Today is about thanks. Tomorrow its right back to cutting staffing and spending at the VA and politics and the people who need that help get kicked to the curb.

Don't get me wrong --- I do appreciate the people who go out of their way to make it special. I think I would have a whole different approach if the ptsd wasn't in there.

My supporters know not to even mention it to me because I may go off on them. I got talked into going to a parade a couple years ago and it was nerve wracking. I was a total bitch the rest of the day because keeping it together for 2.5 hours sucked up all my energy for the rest of the day

But for me it's about hiding in my house and leaving me alone. And by that I mean everyone.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Veterans Day sucks just as bad as Memorial Day. Mine's in his hidey-hole as well. I literally just opened his door, dropped some food inside for him, then shut it again.

Oh god, don't get me started on what he thinks of all the vets running out and getting free meals and discounts on shit today, especially the ones who didn't see any action. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but I've learned to NEVER suggest a Starbucks run on Veterans Day.

 

[Joany]

You mention BBQ. I think BBQ can be also bad for Vets. It has a smell that triggers them.

Somewhe...

I can relate to this. My name Vet has some bad behavior issues. Very Quick tempered, walk on egg shells, cannot mention such said behavior due to setting off the trigger.
He HATES the smell of fish. We cannot have it at all I n the house. Fireworks bother him when in close proximity.
It can be difficult, he can be self absorbed. And narcissistic.
I took him out for deals on Veterans day, while he was having his free cheese burger. He States; " Why are you making a big deal out of me on Veterans day. You never did before!"
Can one be more of an @#$le. ?
I always said happy vets day. He would of course claim different.
It can be so Challenging as we all know.

 

[EveHarrington]

All I know is that if there was a CSA survivors day where people sent cards, had bbq’s and drank, I’d be hella pissy, too.